How do you bounce back from the biggest heart break you have ever felt?

on Dec 03, 2010 @ 07:57 pm

I was dating a guy for two years, we had been through a lot, and the whole time we were together he allowed his ex to occasionally talk to him here and there. I broke up with him when I found out that she had sent him s birthday card and he didn't tell me about it. He begged me for months to take him back and for months I said no or just ignored him. I was hurt, very hurt. Over time I thought he had changed and was really sorry so I decided to give him another shot and start dating him again. I ended up finding out that while we were broken up he was now dating guess who? His ex! I told him are you kidding me? The whole time we were together you told me you hated her and even if we broke up forever you would never date her. So that pretty much means to me that all those times he spoke to her and when he lied about the card, there were probably feelings behind that so everything he told me was a lie. He told me he loved me, and the only reason he gave her another shot was because she showed him care and attention when he needed it after I left him. He said he would break up with her if I wanted him back. I told him she was the reason I left so why would he even want any part of that if you really cared? He broke up with her, but I left and have not spoken to him since and it has been about three months. I was alright and trying to be happy and heal until I found out that they got back together and she is now pregnant. It killed me, I learned everything he told me was a lie, he never cared, and he has moved on so fast and is about to start a family. How can I be ok? How can I keep from just calling him or emailing him how he hurt me and he should be ashamed of his self? I want to just yell and scream at him because I feel like such a fool, I feel like he got on over on me. I don't want to be with him I made that decision a long time ago, but I can't help but be upset that I lost two years of my life for someone that could just treat me this way. How do I get over this? How do I get over thinking that he thought I was nothing? I planned on being with him forever, he told me the same now he gets to move on and start a new life and family and I'm just here alone and shocked. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

2 Replies

been in your shoes.. i survived so can you.. on Dec 04, 2010 @ 08:58 pm

You just need to be strong.. it hurts i agree.. im over it now but it took me some time.. I was with my ex for 9 years we have a beautiful little girl together, but there was no trust, no communication. I thought i was going to spend my life with him, but when he couldn't tell me he actually cared and he actually wanted me in his life, I packed up my daughter and i left.. It was a little easier because i moved to a different town, but still hard.. I missed him all the time, I knew he started seeing other people right away, well i sat and pinned for him. and eventually he got another pregnate.. It was really hard.. but i relyed on my friends and family to help me through it.. you need to keep busy, keep your mind occupied so you don't think of him, if you are around someone and they start to talk about him then leave.. It takes some time, but if he never cared enough to show you he cared then you need to let go and not let it hurt you.. you need to be strong.. In the end it can be worth it.. Its been nearly 4 years since i left my ex.. I am so happy i did.. its takin some time since leaving him but i found my one.. its a hard process but it can be worth it.. you need to be happy.. so.. just try and be strong and keep yourself busy

It sure ain't easy on Dec 13, 2010 @ 02:08 pm

I understand how you ladies feel. I too recently ended a three year relationship with a man that I thought I would someday marry. Even though he broke my heart in the worst way possible, believe me when I say there are days (especially during the holiday season) when all I do is wish he was still a part of my life. I want to call him, email him, and on some days I've even done...which I've always profusely regretted. Whilst the light at the end of the tunnel seems a bit far out of reach, and silver lining doesn't seem so bright, I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone in this. On my saddest of days, I'm grateful that I have a wonderful network of friends who make me smile. Cheers :)

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