how do you get over a guy?


XalannaX
on Aug 30, 2008 @ 02:58 pm

Me and bf of a year and a half just broke up cause he needs to figure out his life...and to do so moved back to his home town. he's my first real bf, and first in everything. i'm finding it hard cause he says he still loves me, and i still love him. how do i get over this....
 


4 Replies


TigerLilly
Time heals all wounds on Aug 30, 2008 @ 09:28 pm

I'm sorry to hear that you guys broke up. First break ups are always the hardest, well actually all break ups are difficult. This question has been asked by many, many people and it's very difficult. I think everyone has their own methods but I think it ultimately comes down to time. From my own experience I just vented a lot to my friends and continued on with life. I knew that eventually I'd be fine but at the time it seriously sucks. A lot of people say to immerse yourself in other activities. For example, I went to the gym a lot after my break ups. I also think break ups are a good learning opportunity to figure out how to improve yourself.But I honestly think you'll just have to wait it out and try to minimize the pain as much as possible. Look back in a week, in 2 weeks, in a month, in 2 months and you'll see that you've slightly im proved each time.Good luck and if you need to talk feel free to PM me.
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Miki
Positive surroundings on Sep 01, 2008 @ 10:14 pm

Sorry to hear about your break up =(If you need to get over this relationship and need to move on, the first step to take is to give yourself space from your ex so that you can focus on yourself. If he keeps telling you he loves you and you keep feeding it to yourself, it will be difficult to cope with because you'll keep hanging on.This is a great opportunity to do things you've always wanted to do. Surround yourself with loving people and activities you especially enjoy. Make this the chance to do things that will boost your self confidence. Keep your schedule busy. It's normal to think of him and hurt. Cry it out, let it out, but keep going and stay positive because things will get easier over time.
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Ali de Bold
Good advice on Sep 02, 2008 @ 11:04 am

I agree with both tigerlilly and miki. Though it feels terrible right now, it will get better. I'm sorry you are going through this. It would be good for you to avoid contact with him for awhile to get back on your feet. If you keep talking you will continue to feel hopeful and if it doesn't work out you will only be prolonging your pain.A friend of mine was with her boyfriend for 2 years. They were a great couple and she really loved him. One day he told her he didn't know what he wanted anymore and that he needed to break up with her. Instead of begging for him to change his mind, she told him to immediately leave and refused any contact with him. Very soon after he realized he had made an enormous mistake, begged her to take him back, and proposed. They are now married with 2 kids.What she did that was smart was she made him realize very quickly what life without her felt like. Had she kept contact with him and tried to hold on to him, he would have had more time to drift away, not realizing what he was losing.I believe in that old saying: If you love someone set them free. You never know, they might just come back!
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biochick
... on Sep 04, 2008 @ 11:05 pm

Rebound fling!


Just kidding.


I always found the times after breakups to be some of the most empowering times of my life. You get to spend time doing what YOU want, and finding out who YOU really are. Surround yourself with friends and family, have fun and do some things you've always wanted to do.
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