How many dates before you shag?


Ali de Bold
on Apr 25, 2007 @ 07:37 pm

How many dates will you wait before you take your relationship to the next level. Do you prefer to wait for marriage, do you swear by the 3 date rule, wait at least a month or get busy on the first date?
 

14 Replies


apothenaJen
When it feels right.. on Apr 26, 2007 @ 11:32 am

a la Cher from the movie Clueless, I wouldn't do it with someone I had "lukewarm" feelings for and I don't think I would know my real feelings in just 3 dates. That doesn't seem like enough time to figure out whether a guy is psycho or anything. I can't really talk from personal experience since Denis was my first real boyfriend and we had a long distance relationship from the start. So our timeline was skewed.

To me a relationship is for more than just fun, so shagging right away would totally ruin any progression if you're looking for something serious. I would think a few months at least.

This has to do with modesty, too. I'm not about to get nekkid in front of someone I barely know. And I definitely don't need to see some almost-stranger's dingaling either. Eeew.
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Anonymous
Wait for the wedding ring on Apr 26, 2007 @ 08:15 pm

I think it's better to wait. Too many stds and broken hearts out there. Plus I think sex complicates things.
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spotty
Hmmmm on May 08, 2007 @ 11:30 am

Like ApothenaJen, my timeline is a bit skewed b/c a lot of my relationships had, at some point, a long-distance element. I can think back to a relationship that was "local" and I think we got as far as 2-3 weeks in before the official hook-up. We're not together anymore, but would never claim that our decision for when to have sex is what caused the 2yr romance to end. I would say the timing of the first shag, in the long run, will have no effect on a long-term relationship. But that's just me -- I'm sure others disagree. ;-)
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Anonymous
Shagging on May 09, 2007 @ 11:01 am

I guess I am kind of traditional too about this topic. I don't agree with hitting the sheets together when you don't know someone very well.

However, I know plenty of women who love the thrill of shagging on a first date or a one night stand. I don' t know if it is under the influence of alcohol or just wanting the "thrill" of casual sex. I don't understand what is so great about it, you barely know the person! Some people truly believe in sex without love because there is no commitment or strings attached. I find that that is a difficult notion to understand.

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mamaluv
What is sex, anyway? on May 10, 2007 @ 10:00 am

I agree with anonymous. I see sex as a deep communication between two people and should be considered a special thing you don't share with just anyone. I think it's only a thrill because deep down your soul knows that it's wrong to give this gift away as if it's a package of Girl Scout cookies - more expensive than Oreos, but not much there.

I would NEVER sleep with someone I wasn't emotionally invested in. I am married now anyway, but I think if I were single I would wait 'til it's a sure thing.
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Anonymous
I agree on May 10, 2007 @ 10:01 am

My hubby and I waited until engaged. Sure, engagements can always be broken but for both of us it was important to be committed officially before we shared something so intimate.
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artist
Girl Scout Cookies! on May 10, 2007 @ 12:40 pm

Hahah!! Mamaluv, I love that ... "a package of Girl Scout cookies - more expensive than Oreos, but not much there." SO true!
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MizzRobin
I agree... on May 12, 2007 @ 03:06 pm

I love the comment Mamaluv made about about Girl Scout cookies...FUNNY! I am at a stage in my life where I would not sleep with someone unless I was heavily emotionally invested in that person. I know the meaning of sex differs from one person to the next but, to me it is like Mamaluv says " a deep communication between two people and should be considered a special thing you don't share with just anyone".
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Anonymous
first date on May 14, 2007 @ 03:03 pm

shagging on the first date is always a bad idea - regardless of the chemistry you have with that person for at least one good reason: STDs are not 100% preventable.
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MulhallLover
Shagging on May 26, 2007 @ 08:22 pm

I would always shag with anyone.Do you mean dancing or sex??
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