How much info about our ex should we want?

on Oct 18, 2011 @ 09:00 am

Okay, so we've all been there. Broken up with someone, believed that we are 100% over them, then BAM, we hear someone talking about them and our ear is glued to that conversation!

Anyway, I recently reconnected with a friend who I used to spend alot of time with while I was with my ex boyfriend. We both kind of just mutually understood that we just didn't talk about him while we were together, as she is still friends with him, and I cannot be due to the break up being a little dramatic.

Well the other day, she was telling a story, which included him, and I told her not to worry, as they are friends, I don't want her to have to blank him out of stories just for my benefit.

So the more she talked about the story with him, the more curious I got, and found myself asking questions about him, and then just wanting to hear all the stories about him. My friend said that she knows alot about him, and alot that I don't need to know because it will hurt me. Which leads me to believe its is things that occured while we were together. I know that I shouldn't even care, because I have a new man, but I can't help but want to know!

Perhaps I was just enjoying the gossip, but should I be concerned about it? I know it seems little, but I just dont want to become overwhelmed or obsessive about it.

Let me know what you think chickies!

7 Replies

I'm the same way! on Oct 18, 2011 @ 11:45 am

I'm right there with you. I am so nosy and gossipy when it comes to these matters- so don't worry you are not alone!

Even if I know it will hurt me, I still feel like I need to know everything!!! Although, I will be the first to admit it, it isn't always healthy because sometimes I end up feeling worse than I do already. I think if you are going to ask around and check up on him (like I do with facebook, shamefully...) you should just be prepared for the consequences.

Sometimes the past is best left where it is- in the past. I know when I keep going back to the same person and I start thinking about them, it prevents me from moving forward.


Im too nosy! on Oct 18, 2011 @ 11:56 am

I have him blocked on facebook, because I feel that he has no need to know what I"m up to, and I have no need to know what he is up to. Although I do like to hear stories, its kinda fun!

Sometimes they really reinforce why you aren't together!

I feel if we aren't together I cant be bothered by it, because there was a reason that we ended things before I knew this, so finding it out if we were still be together would be a reason to end things anyway!

I'm still curious though!

Gossip on Nov 08, 2011 @ 06:24 pm

I would also be a little curious but sometimes that leads to trouble.
It is hard to erase someone from your life completely after spending so much time with them!
A little harmless gossip here and there won't hurt - but keep the past behind you and look forward!

There should be an island where all our exes go.... on Nov 09, 2011 @ 06:34 am we never have to deal with this. Of course you'd listen, especially if you think he'd been stepping out on you.

My only caveat would be to consider the source. There are some mean people out there and their motives in giving you this information -- which may or may not be accurate -- could be to hurt you.

But if he was a jerk, listen away and then count your lucky stars he's an ex!

I agree on Nov 09, 2011 @ 12:55 pm

I'm lucky that I'm able to be level headed, and I know that he WAS a part of my life.

I think its just built into us sometimes to love hearing the juicy details! Most of the people that tell me the stories are the friends who like me, just like hearing stories. I accept everything with a grain of salt, knowing that some might be true, and some not. Its almost like reading Star magazine, where you have no idea if anything you are reading has any validity, but you read it anyway, because its fun!

let it go on Nov 09, 2011 @ 09:38 pm

As tempting as it is just let it go. You've moved on so don't go back there! It's sometimes says better not to know

Ali de Bold
Normal on Nov 09, 2011 @ 10:31 pm

I think it's normal to be curious but I agree it's best to let it go. Especially any stories that may hurt you. Why waste one moment being upset about the behaviour of an ex?

Also agree about the island ;)

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