on Dec 18, 2008 @ 10:05 am|
Here are some questions for you
-how do you get a guy to like you?
-What are your techniques? Are you mysterious, play hard to get, don't let him know too much about yourself? Or are you an open book?
-What has worked best for you and what tips would you give those that are unlucky in love?
-What are the common mistakes you feel women make that turn guys the other way?
|moi on Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:37 pm|
i can answer this question only based on myself. i do have methods in my madness tho ;)
- i'm myself. it sounds cheesy, but it's true. i know who i am. however, i do think the reason i'm successful with men is because i'm hard to get, but only in phases if you know what i mean. i call him a lot one week then don't talk to him the next. i pretty much do what i want, when i want to do it and i find guys love the challenge.
-i always look my best. seriously. even if we're at the mall i'm wearing makeup. my nails are done. my jeans are tight. the more attention i seem to attract to myself the more receptive the guy is. it's almost like he's proud of me.
i tried being mysterious once and it failed. it broke my heart. i tried to be coy and he ended up dumping me for a girl exactly like the real me. that was when i learned to just do what you want.
-i don't think you should ever change who you are for a man BUT i do think that if you're unhappy and things aren't working, it might be time for a character adjustment. if you're always shy then be bold, even if that's not you right away.
-women are afraid to be clingy. this sucks because clingy girls are not always a bad thing. i'm sooooo clingy and i've had (in comparison to people i know, at least) EXCELLENT love history. if you're one of those girls who freaks out when you're man isn't around don't hide it. it's who you are. just be yourself :)
i liked this topic, lol. i made me reflect on myself :)
|LOL i loved ur reply!!! on Dec 24, 2008 @ 02:02 pm|
i just loved ur reply!!! thats great and i'm really glad it works for you :-)
|yes and no on Jan 14, 2009 @ 05:09 pm|
a guy will learn to find the the things he at first were not attractive about you either attractive or he won't notice them anymore - if he really likes you. that being sad, you have to keep up if not improve how you look in comparison to when you first met him. if you went from wearing skinnies to sweats then can you blame him for not finding you as attractive? not really...
it's more about confidence, dressing up or trying to hard (i'm a try hard and i love it) is like wearing a sign that says I WANT ATTENTION. this makes you super easy to approach.
as for the clingy, thing i want to replace that word with crazy bitch. instead of "og my god where we were? were you cheating? *cry* why didn't you call me?" replace it with "wtf do you think you are doing not calling me back? you know as well as i do (insert examples of how crazy your phone goes on a saturday night) that if you aren't around someone else is def up for it. also, don't get jealous, get possessive. not "do you like her?" more liek "if she bats her eyelashes at you i'm knocking her out."
i'm a big fan of social experiements and i swear i've "been" ever other girl for 6 months or so and i find i'm always the most successful when i'm a crazy (clingy) bitch with guys. maybe it's because it's more who i am than who i'm not, but even when i watch other people. it's always the crazy bitches who have boyfriends, ha.
gl to you babe.
|Shes right... on Jan 19, 2009 @ 12:22 pm|
every time I tryed to stratagize its been a big flop.
Lookimg your best is important...You want to be the girl a guy is poud to have on his arm...not to mention all the atention you get keeps him on his toes.
Dont take crap. Make sure you call him on it! if he says hell call you tomorrow and dosent call for 3 days...tell him is 3 days late and your not really into unreliable people (unless you secretly are)
Rember that you teach people how to treat you ... set your standards and stick to them..the right guy will be happy to meet them to be with you...
READING "HES JUST NOT THAST INTO YOU" AND LEARNING TO CUT YOUR LOSSES TO MAKE ROOM FOR MR RIGHT- IS THE BEST THING I EVER DID...I stoped wasting time with guys who took there time asking me out, didt call when they said they would were being casual when i wanted commitment...and only gave my attention to the ONES (more than one) that clearly thought I was worth the effort.
"People tell you who they are all the time! but we tend to ignore them...when a guy says he dosent want a girlfrend belive him and find one who does! if a guy doesent call hes telling you hes not thinking of you or that hes unreliable...BELEIVE THEM!!! I had to stop convincing myself that a guy who just wanted to sleep with me would one day fall in lovewith me LMAO HE told me by never really asking me out that he wasent interested!
No last minute date calls...your not a last resort if he wants to ask you out. he should call you today and ask you if your free 2 days from now...personally when a guy asks me what i want to do I alwas say " surprize me...I love surprizes"
It gives him a chance to impress me and lets him know that hes going to have to make a serious effort if he wants me to take him seriously.
I think the bigest mistakes we make is we ignore that for centuries men have been doing rediculous things to get womens attention and beleive it or not they enjoy it lol its just who they are...they like to feel like they won something special...SO LET THEM! Also women go after men who arent THAT into them lol they waste there time hoping they can MAKE him come around when all the good ones are passing them by! And finally they still shun internet dating...Ive had 3 long term relationships that started on the a dating site and i prefer it to being picked up on the street!
I NEVER contact them...actually i dont even pay a membership at my prefered site...i simply focus my attntion on posting the most honest and attractive profile, then I lok through the ones who contact me read what they have to say see if we might be compatible and pick the ones I like :) then I get to know them on msn exchange pics and if a guy really peaks my intrest Ill accept him asking me on a PROPER date wich I expect him to plan and pay for. (alot of poeple think its oldschool but im old school soooo....) My current boyfriend pulled out all the stops and STILL does I think im pucky to have such a great guy and he treats me the way i deserve to be treated...But hell be the first to tell you that If he thought he could get away with taking me for coffe last minute on a friday after not caling for 3 days ...he would have tried! lol
Let me know If you want more internet dating advice let me know...Like I said over the last 7 years Ive gotten it down to a science!
|you go girl!!! :) on Jan 22, 2009 @ 12:34 pm|
wow aiysha you go girl!! love the advise :) i totally agree when you say that we train our partners on how to treat us. if we accept bad behaviour easily, we train them that its okay to behave bad with us..
au_scenegrl09.. ur advise rocks too but i'm not sure i have the b*lls to pull it off..hehe :) but it obviously rocks for you and i'm sure it'll work for many others so thanks for sharing :)
i'm currently reading "why men marry bitches" - and thats an amazing book!!! its sound advise that your unselfish bestfriend will give you..and its hilllllaaaaaarious :) i find myself LOL in many places :) for anyone who's not read it, i highly recommend it!!!
just to clarify i don't have anyone i'm interrested in or anything at all like that, but human behaviour makes me curious and this is a fun topic to discuss so.... :)
spikes244... perhaps highschool kids like "bad boys" they can "change", perhaps they have the mentality "poor boy he's misunderstood he just needs me to understand him" bla bla bla ... but real women don't think along those lines. so in my opinion, whoever told you that women look for lying cheating scumbags - well i don't think that was a woman was it.. :-) we look for reliable, respectful adult FUN men... not someone so ingroved in being reliable and respectful that he has the personality of a wet sponge!! so be careful about that.. be a good guy - thats what all girls want - but don't fall into the boring guy trap.
*sigh* ... i could SO get any girl i want if i was a guy!! ;-) lol jk ..
|For Me on Feb 09, 2009 @ 08:28 pm|
I would just like to start by saying, "All right Ayisha! I totally agree. Especially about the He's Just Not That Into You book which also changed my perspective when it comes to guys."
Personally, I just like to take care of myself and be the best I could possibly be as a person. I am rather friendly, and tend to talk to anyone, men or women. I don't have any techniques and I don't even really know how to flirt. Maybe my friendly personality can sometimes be taken as flirting.
But to be honest, I just start off as a friend, and then suddenly, some of my guy friend get to like me. I give them all a chance, but if I'm not into them, then I'm not into them.
A common mistake I see in women now is really just insecurity. Women should cherish themselves and be confident, because I know they are amazing and just need some polishing up.
Honestly, this whole "signs" and "dating language" is over-rated, and we should just really be ourselves, in a classy and mannerly way. Class is sexy, and you don't need to have heaps of money to be classy.
|Wow! on Feb 10, 2009 @ 09:53 am|
I read these posts last night, and I'm still thinking about them! There is some great advice on here, and some very intelligent ladies! I know it's going to be hard, but I'm going to try to use some of the lessons in these posts.
I tend to get overly excited when a guy shows interest in me and obsess about why he isn't calling, or texting, or writing. And as soon as he wants to talk or see me I drop what I'm doing to be there, even if it means ditching something or someone! I know it's not a good way to be and I have actually said, out loud to myself "Why am I doing this!!?" as I drove across town in the middle of the night to see a guy that was clearly just using me!
I don't understand! I can see it! I can admit it! But can I stop it!!?? I have friends that can see it and have told me I'm worth more than this. And I believe them, and want to take their advice. But when a hot guy is interested in me I get stupid!!??
I am in the middle of reading "He's Just Not That Into You" and every time I read about another type of guy or scenario I can see myself in that exact situation! Some of the situations/men, I swear, are right out of my own past!!
Thanks for all the great advice! Wish me luck!
|LOL on Feb 11, 2009 @ 04:55 pm|
Patricia - you could be me, you know that? :-) I read your response and i laughed out loud because you could soooooo be me... and i bet lots of girls out there can relate to us.
|:) on Feb 11, 2009 @ 06:25 pm|
I'm also glad I'm not alone out there on the "battlefield" ! It's a hard habit to break, I've tried... but i seem to keep getting sucked into the same patterns. First thing that enters my mind when he doesn't call when he said he will is... "What did I do wrong?"
It should be... "Who cares!!"
|Guilty as charged...... on Feb 11, 2009 @ 08:44 pm|
Which is why I'm reading "Why men love bitches" for the 3rd time!!
Apparently I keep forgetting how to be a "bitch". My fav. quote from
the book is "When a woman drives to see a man in the middle of the
night, the only thing missing is a neon sign on the roof of her car
that says WE DELIVER." That is soooooo me right now......arghhhhhhh