on Jan 03, 2012 @ 08:45 am|
Alright so don't get confused... I'm not lesbian.. Im a dude.
So basically i've been dating my girlfriend for about 2 years. Since Sept 3rd of 2010, we're both 17. During X-Mas break i was staying over her house, while her mom was at work she asked if i wanted to have sex.. This kinda shocked me, but i still wanted to, because I really love her and i plan on being with her for the rest of my life. After we had sex, she asked how it was.. I kinda didn't know how to respond.. I mean i enjoyed it, but she wanted detail.. What do i tell her?
I need help ladies.
|Gabriel on Jan 03, 2012 @ 09:57 am|
First off I hope you used protection and always
do! I have two sons around your age that are both having sex and I know this
because we're very open and honest with each other. That's just how you should
be with her. Honesty is always best in any relationship. I know it’s hard to
talk about things like this, but if this was her first time to she probably
just wants the feed back for her own security. She wants to make sure you were
happy and if there was anything you might like to change about it next time. We've
all bin there at one time in our life and believe me the first time usually
isn't all that great for either one. It all comes together with experience just
like anything else in your life, the more you do something the better you get
at it. So just tell her that talking about it makes you uncomfortable, but if
she insists, tell her how you felt and maybe what you'd like to change, but
Please always use condoms for your own sake as well as hers! Girl's can do
funny things sometimes, like say their pregnant when they really aren't just to
play mind games with you, or to keep you around. Chance's are that you won't be
with this girl for the rest of your life no matter how you feel about her now.
You don't want to be stuck with a baby at your age and like I said chances are
that you won't be together down the road. If you ended up having a baby with
her, you'll be stuck with her no matter what, or at least until the child is
21. Just think about how long that will be, having to deal with someone you
can't stand any more!! So Gabriel please just think about yourself first then
be honest with her as best you can. If you two really feel the way you said
about each other it can only do you both some good. Stay safe, good luck and if
you ever need someone to talk to I’d be happy to talk with you. Cheer buddy
|rehearse your answer on Jan 03, 2012 @ 10:17 am|
It's an interesting question, and Takoda made some great points already. For a girl, the first time (actually, the first couple of times) is not necessarily fully pleasurable due to losing her virginity. There may be some degree of pleasure, but generally there is a fair amount of discomfort too. It would be good to know what her motivation is for asking - is it that it wasn't 100% perfect for her this first time and she's worried/curious about the next time? Or is it that she's worried about pleasuring you and/or wants to know what parts of the experience were most pleasurable for you for future reference? (these are rhetorical questions - I don't imagine you have an answer to them)
It is a very awkward conversation to have, so I would suggest several things:
(1) be to-the-point and don't over-explain: oversharing might make you phrase things in a way you'll regret later if your word choice is poor. On such a sensitive topic, you might not have a second chance to explain yourself.
(2) rehearse what you want to say. Actually, it's for the same reasons as above. You want to reassure her you enjoyed it and are looking forward to experiencing more beautiful moments and firsts with her.
(3) turn the question around and ask her how it was for her. This is not to put her on the spot but rather to give her an opportunity to give you feedback. Was it over too quickly? Would she like more foreplay next time? Does she prefer it soft & sweet or wild & passionate?
This is a super sensitive time for you guys as a couple right now and needs to be handled carefully. Be open with her and allow her to be open with you. It's quite possible she initiated this conversation because there are things SHE'D like to say but is awkward about going first.
Good luck to you guys!
|Reassurance on Jan 03, 2012 @ 10:17 am|
She probably wants reassurance- if you were both virgins then this was probably a big deal for her. I think she is probably feeling very self concious about this.
Tell exactly how you feel and make sure she feels loved!
|Hi Gabriel on Jan 03, 2012 @ 09:52 pm|
Fenales, for the most part are sensitive beings, and losing virginity is a sensitive issue... don't be uber fake about it, but let her know about your feelings as alexjc said.
She probably needs to know that after this intimate exchange you are still going to be there for her and you thought it was special too
Ali de Bold
|Blame Hollywood for that one on Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:57 am|
This whole idea of rating the sex immediately after having it is so Hollywood. Grunt, grunt, pant, pant.. "so, how was it?" It isn't supposed to be a competitive sport where you are ranked and given a score as soon as you cross the finish line. Unfortunately that's the first thing people want to know when it's over. Was I any good?
The best thing you can do is tell her you loved being with her and that you love her. Don't feel like you need to exaggerate or say something outrageous. First time sex is rarely explosive and amazing. For a virgin it's actually quite painful - not just during but for some time after. Even if you weren't virgins and it was just your first time together as a couple it could be just ok because you haven't figured each other out yet.
I really wish people didn't feel pressure during sex to perform like porn stars or circus animals. It's totally missing the point about what sex is supposed to be. Just bring it back to the two of you and that you love her.
|Cute on Jan 10, 2012 @ 03:59 pm|
This is a very cute question. I am so impressed that you found this board and wanted to ask this. This means that you care about her feelings and that you really want to make it special.
I agree with some of the comments. You should first turn the question around to her. Then tell her that it was great and that you look forward to more time together. Take your time, have fun, and always use protection. You are young and you will treasure these times later in your life.
|Heart warming. on Jan 12, 2012 @ 01:19 am|