on Mar 31, 2014 @ 09:23 pm|
So here goes. The past couple of months my relationship with my boyfriend has been improving
I left to go to the military. I had been dating my boyfriend for a year when I left. And me and his brother were really cool, we chatted, had conversations. etc.
Well during bootcamp my boyfriend proposed to me and I just got overwhelemed and so I said yes then later said no... as my time in training went on I broke up with him. When I got back we got back and his brother immediately hated me...Probably because I hurt his lil bro. Well he has moved back into his parents house with his brother, like he was before I left for bootcamp. Well....he hates me. He will intentionally exclude me when he ask his bro to go hang out....when im in the room (insinuating for me to leave so they can hang out) or hell stare me down if we pass by each other. I told my boyfriend and he confronted him .But obviously he took his brothers word (that he did not do that) => ofcourse.
WHAT DO I DO? ADVICE
|That's rough!! on Apr 01, 2014 @ 06:40 am|
Basically if you've talked to your man about it and it wasn't fixed. Do you think it'd ever be fixed? If not, you'd have to decide if you would want to live like that for the rest of your life. I know for me one of my biggest fears was to marry someone whose family didn't approve or like me. I watched my father's family disapprove of his being with my mom and it caused ALOT of trouble in the long run. But if you love this guy I wouldn't totally decide for deal breaker yet. Have you attempted tryin to talk to his brother about it? Maybe there's some misunderstanding that coul be cleared up or maybe he just really would like to be reassured of your intentions with his brother . Goodluck!!
Ali de Bold
|Probably just upset on Apr 01, 2014 @ 10:39 am|
I think you are right that he's upset you hurt his brother. I would give him some time to get over that. It might be a good idea to talk to him directly and work it out rather than have your boyfriend do it.
|Feeling bad for you, but it's not unforeseeable on Apr 01, 2014 @ 10:43 am|
The harsh truth is, his brother is scared you will break things off again. Trust is earned, not given--especially broken trust. You will have to wait this one out and prove you're committed before the family will be willing to let the past go. All they can see right now is their brother/son who was hurt and (in their opinion) might be making a mistake by getting back together with you.
I'm not saying you're a bad person! But look at it from their perspective. From accepting a proposal to breaking up in a short-ish period of time will have their guard up. You would probably feel the same if it happened to your sister/brother.
Give it time. He'll either get over it or he won't. It's out of your control except for the way you deal with this cold shoulder. If you push back or make your BF choose sides, it will probably just solidify the suspicion in their minds.
|His brother is not effected by anything on Apr 01, 2014 @ 01:09 pm|
well talking to him isnt an option. My boyfriend already said not to talk to him it would be a bad idea. Whatever that means. And simply he is just plain mean. He blocks my car so i cant back out he disincludes me and makes me feel unwanted to be around them. Actually his mom and dad and other family are really nice and seem to like me. Just him alone is so hateful to me. And he tried talking to his brother about the stare down. Well he in turn got mad at me because his brother got mad at him. He just took his word that he didnt give me a stare down apparently to his brother( he saw me in the vacinity) if thats the case he didnt realize i was there while looking at me for a whole two minutes