I lied and he left me

on May 06, 2010 @ 11:36 pm

this is my first time on here, and i just need to get it out i know i dont deserve any comfort and i acted crazy and psychotic and i deserve to be left. about 7 months ago i got kind of jealous and i told my friend about it, i let her talk me into making up a fake facebook guy to make my boyfriend jealous. it eventually worked and he got really mad. i saw how angry he was apologized but didnt tell him it wasnt real because i was afraid hed get even more mad. i also knew how ridiculous it was to do something like that so i was embarrased and it made me not want to tell him even more. i just thought we would argue and it would be done and i would never speak of it again and never do anything like that again. for the past 7 months we have been arguing on and off over this fake guy because he thinks hes real. ive even left my bf because we were arguing so much about it i still couldnt get the guts to tell him. i finally tell him because its been eating me up and he left me. he said i never loved him or cared for him and i was also called every name in the book. i am so sorry and i never meant for it to get this big or go on for 7 months. it just blew up and i got scared he would leave if i told him the truth so i hid it. when i did finally tell him he did leave me, which i dont blame him for. im scared hes gone forever and its all my fault. i cant believe i did this.

3 Replies

such a sad story :( on May 07, 2010 @ 11:05 am

I really feel for you! It's obvious you see the mistake you made and that you're taking responsibility for your actions. I give you props for that. I'm sorry your boyfriend left you - but I feel for him too. Trust is the most important part of any relationship, and that has been broken. If the roles were reversed, all of us on this board would be telling you to leave him.

While this is so sad, think of it as an opportunity to start fresh. You learned a big lesson the hard way, and you now have the wisdom to not repeat the mistake. Secrets have a nasty way of coming out in the end - just like every soap predicts. Patching things up with your man would be an enormous amount of work and there's no guarantee he'd ever be able to fully trust again.

Take your time to mend, then take this lesson to heart when you're ready to date again. And take your girl's advice with a mountain of salt next time - that was really poor judgment on her part.

Best of luck to you in the future, honey! We hope you're the stronger for it!

Jealousy is a dangerous thing............. on May 07, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

It makes people do crazy sh1t, really. The only thing you can do is apologize, do your best to show him you really mean it, ask him what it is that you can do to prove to him that you DO love and care about him, and keep moving forward. And let it be said, it isn't going to do any good for either one of you to try and communicate when you're angry and hostile.

Why were you jealous in the first place? Did you have a legitimate reason, as in was he running around with other girls, or trying to make you jealous, or was it just your own insecurity? Or was he just really disrespectful of how you were feeling about him maybe spending too much time with other women friends? Sometimes guys DO love to play that game, or simply don't care how we feel about those things. They want a gf, but they also want the perks of being single. Doesn't work that way. I've experienced that myself.

If is was because he was running around with other girls, ask yourself if you really want a man like that anyways. Personally, I sure don't. And I can tell you, I'd wind up leaving my husband if he started to play that game with me.

If it was due to your own insecurity, you're gonna have to face up to the fact that you need some help with that, otherwise it's going to affect all of your future relationships as well. Consider some counselling to find out WHY you might be feeling irrationally jealous, or to find out that MAYBE you DID have a rational, logical reason for being jealous. Either way, it won't hurt you and you'll wind up with a better understanding of yourself and the way you act in relationships. It could also help you in the future in new relationships.

Good luck, I hope things go well for you. I really don't envy people going through the whole 'relationship' thing. I'm glad I ended up finding the guy I love and who loves and respects me as if the ground I walk on is hallowed. I at one time thought, 'Why bother getting married? We're fine and happy as we are.' But I can tell you, if you really love and respect someone as a human being - not as your 'man', you really should make the commitment of getting married. Whether it's all in a person's head or not, that extra commitment you make towards the other person does put your relationship on another level. That being said, don't go and get married just because you love someone. Sounds silly, yes, but it takes a lot more than love to make a successful marriage. And with that....I shall stop going off on another subject :-)


live and learn on May 07, 2010 @ 04:00 pm

I don't know how old you are but i assume you are very young. The bad news is that you feel terrible and life sucks right now. The good news is that you learned this lesson early and chances are you wouldn't have ended up with your high school boyfriend anyway.

Life is extremely short, don't waste it living as someone else. Don't waste it playing a roll. Be yourself and be honest to yourself and everyone else. Happiness is not something you can trick people into with fake facebook accounts. Its not something you can pretend to be or cover up with expensive clothes or fancy things. Happiness comes from being exactly who you are every second of every day and being able to look around and KNOW that the people in your life are there because they like and love EXACTLY who you are.

The number 1 killer of all relationships is doing anything that causes the other person not to trust you. Once you break that trust things will never be the same again. When you look around and see those old couples holding hands walking through the park.. those are the people who have always respected and trusted their partner. When you see those couples who have separate bedrooms and never spend time with each other.. those are the people who stay together and try and work it out.

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