I need advice.

on May 08, 2016 @ 07:10 pm

Hey girls,

so theres this guy ive known for years he was my first love. we lost contact and in 2014 we started talking again. He came and visited December 2014, and he's coming to visit again next FRIDAY ! he lives in Boston btw. But the thing is we never really made it official due to the fact that we dont live inb the same country im in vancouver canada. 

So we slowly stopped talking again with the time difference etc and our busy schedules it just kind of happened, but every now and then he would always ask  about me. So the problem is i saw a post of his on facebook there was a picture of him holding a little baby girl, and everyone was saying congrats, but that could just possibly mean its another family member im so confused ... dooes he have a kid that i dont know about ? 

So We started talking a lot for 2 months and he told me that if it was okay with me that he wanted to try again and that he wants me in his life. Basically telling everyone he wants me and showing his commitment. I tried to make him tell me and ask him about the little girl, but all he would say is : I have a lot to talk about, but I want to do it in person. I have something very special to tell you, i need to see you. and recently he was talking about marriage !! 

I think hes maybe nervous to tell me ( if it IS his daughter) and scared of what my reaction would be.... 

what would you girls do ? any advice is appreciated. sorry for rambling on and on im just overwhelmed lool  all i know is that i want him i want to be with him and the daughter wont change my decision. im just stressing out

12 Replies

. on May 08, 2016 @ 07:30 pm

I think it's imperative to have the discussion on Friday as soon as he comes over. It could be he got in a relationship since you split, or got someone pregnant and could be either a single dad or the mother could have custody.

Either way, you guys have a lot to talk about. Try not to stress too much and remember you can get a real answer on Friday.

Keep us updated and good luck!

. on May 08, 2016 @ 08:06 pm

My advice is just to wait until you guys talk in person and not think too much about what's he going to say.
Try not to think of what if and what not. It might cause disappointment just in case he's going to tell you something you don't want to hear. If it's some wonderful like a proposal then it will be a good surprise. Our minds does crazy things so keep yourself occupied so you don't think about it too much.:)
Whatever it is he's going to tell, it's better not to think into it too much.
Have you seen He's Just Not That Into You? Well you could watch that to keep your mind entertain. It's also helps you see, what happens when a person thinks too much into things. It's easier to see things when you are not in it as well.
There is one thing to think about though. Would you be okay with it if he has a child?

. on May 08, 2016 @ 08:17 pm

This why we need to be able to edit our reply, I keep forgetting to write stuff.

BTW, the reason I keep stressing about not thinking too much into things is because I was in a long distance relationship before. I was thinking into everything he does and do to death. It just wasn't healthy for me. I turned into someone I was not. It's best to let things be and deal with it when the time comes. It's tough, I know. (especially in a LDR)
I was literally going crazy when I was dating that guy, I would dissect everything into pieces. I think it's because I couldn't see the person often and see how their day to day life is. I wish you well with this whole thing and let us know how it goes. :)

. on May 08, 2016 @ 08:23 pm

Oh wow!
Honestly, I have no advice but to follow your heart.
And kudos to the guy for wanting to discuss things in person. I know a lot of people who would shy away from the face to face interaction.

. on May 09, 2016 @ 02:23 am

Hey girls !
Omg thank you for all your advice, it really means a lot. I always do my best to not over think everything and I was doing a good job, but now that it's crunch time lol Friday is very soon I started to stress out.
Being in a long distance relationship is definitely not easy, and we both share the same thought on it. If it was his child, I won't lie it would be overwhelming a little but it wouldn't be something I wouldn't accept. I think it would all depend on the situation with the childs mother. I don't want baby mama drama in my life lol. As long as I know there's nothing for me to worry about I would be find and I could love that child as my own.
Anyways I think I should just switch my mind off until that time comes and I'm sitting in front of him. Lol I will definitely keep you guys updated. Wish me luckkkkk

youssra on May 09, 2016 @ 03:25 am

Trust me girl, I know! I met my husband long distance and we were apart for around three years before we were able to be together for good.

Wishing you all the luck with this <3

. on May 09, 2016 @ 04:20 am

Wish you all the best! :)

Wonderwhatif on May 09, 2016 @ 04:46 am

That's great to hear gives me hope !!
Jujusamples thank youuuu

. on May 09, 2016 @ 11:30 am

Wow. I guess the best advice is to keep busy until Friday when you will know exactly where things are at. That being said, it would seem that if he did have a new baby, the Facebook posts would indicate that...using the word Daddy, etc... Try to stay neutral for now. I think that like the chicks above suggested you can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what he's going to say. You don't want to set yourself up for a disappointment, or prepare to hear things that are not true. Save your energy for Friday, and hope it's all you want it to be.

Wendyroy on May 09, 2016 @ 03:04 pm

I agree, thank you for your advice i'll try my best lol

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