Inviting a guy over

on Apr 27, 2013 @ 02:32 pm

One of my friends kept on asking me to see me and spend time with me and since I'm always busy with school and working, I rarely have time to hang out. So instead of going out somewhere with him I decided to invite him to come hang out in my room while I do my homework ( since he would always tell me he don't mind chilling with me in my room as long as he is hanging out with me, its cool with him) So I did I gave him directions to my house he seemed excited to come and see me, but then he texted me saying he was unable to come over since he had to do something with his cousin and he really wanted to see me and he was very sorry, but he won't let this happen again I responded to his text " its fine" and that was all we said that night. Its been 2 days and he hasn't message me at all, I want to text him, but I feel that since he kinda mess up he should be the one messaging me trying to plan out another day when we can hang out. Because when I mess up things I try to fix it like this other time he message me and I took like 3 days to respond and he then didn't respond so I reach out to him asking him if he was mad at me or something, so that's why I feel he needs to reach out to me. I get on facebook because I know he is always online hoping he will see that I'm online and will try to message me, but he doesn't. I don't know what to do??? Any suggestions???

6 Replies

re:inviting a guy over on Apr 27, 2013 @ 03:38 pm

Not knowing your age,maybe his family found out what he was up to and they told him that he isn't allowed to hang out with a girl in her room. Either that or he has another girl he is hanging out with. I don't know your situation but if a person wants to spend time with someone they usually make plans to do so and let them know. If he doesn't message you and ignores you on social media and by phone it's not meant to be. He sounds like a jerk.

yes...!! on Apr 27, 2013 @ 04:20 pm

I'm 21 and his 22 .. Yes he has a baby momma but they're not together no more that's why I'm guessing he wants to hang out.. He always messages me every day how my day has been and he keeps on reminding me that he really wants to see me until these 2 days he hasn't.. Maybe your right he probably found someone else who has time for him.. If I message him I know he will respond back but I wont talk to him unless he will, I want his explanation

Just be honest with him. on Apr 30, 2013 @ 01:58 pm

If you're into him, let him know! Say you're really busy right now with school but you'd like to see him, and if he's into you he'll make the time. If he's still being shady about it though and blowing you off, then he's not really interested. Texting you everyday might seem like he's into you, but it's such an easy way for guys to "keep you around" without having to put any effort or commitment into it. If you like him give him another chance, but recognize the warning signs before you get too invested! (Also it sounds like you're really busy right now, so if you don't have the time for a guy at this point in your life, maybe it's best to wait for a time when you do)

What vibes have you been giving off? on Apr 30, 2013 @ 02:09 pm

Have you considered the possibility that maybe you gave off the wrong vibes? If someone kept telling me they couldn't hang out and that they were always busy then only invited me over to hang out in their room while they studied, I wouldn't think they liked me all that much. It seems like you aren't really too excited about them. And if I got that vibe, and I cancelled and apologized and the person just said 'that's fine', I wouldn't necessarily assume it was my responsibility to keep apologizing.

If you like him, I agree with @laced, just let him know. I think you need to be clear with him. If he is just flaky and not really committed, then this will be even better because you'll be able to just clear the air and move on.

jumping to conclusions on Apr 30, 2013 @ 02:36 pm

Based on what you said in your original post, it sounds like since your plans fell through there has been no additional contact. It's only been 2 days... even if it's normal for you guys to text more often, this is a little early to make assumptions. I wouldn't immediately be mad and try to not read anything into it. If a few more days go by with radio silence, then I'd just straight out ask him what's going on. It would be different if you had already tried texting him and he didn't respond - that I'd interpret as some sort of issue. Have you considered that your silence on the topic might be making him nervous too, which might be a possible reason he hasn't texted you?

You see what I mean about jumping to conclusions? There's all sorts of possibilities here. 2 days of no contact is nothing, especially if you aren't an official couple.

your right mamaluv.. on Apr 30, 2013 @ 06:54 pm

Yeah I over exaggerated he message me the next day I tend to worry about things too much.yesterday we actually hang out it made me realize the type of guy he is. I thought maybe he wanted us to start relationship or something boy was I wrong. He immediately try to have sex with me this is a big turn off for me because I usually don't have sex with a guy unless we are in as serious relationship (at least 1-2 years) Now I'm thinking maybe he just wants me to be his sex buddy. Either that or maybe I gave him the wrong signs by inviting him over to my room I should of instead went out to eat or go to the movies with him.

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