just got dumped


yellowrose77
on Feb 23, 2012 @ 03:43 pm

I got dumped by my FWB. We had been FWB for over a year. I developed feelings for him but never really revealed it. Then finally he said he had feelings for me and I was excited. On Valentine's Day, he surprised me with roses, chocolates and we had a nice time together. We hanged out again and then he texted me that he was sad because he knew I had someone else in my life and he wants someone that is completely single. I texted back that there was no one else and that I liked him and wanted to pursue it. I called and texted him for 5 days. He hasn't replied. I didn't realize that his text was a goodbye text. I'm upset because he didn't give me a chance to explain or for us to talk about our situation. He's a coward for ignoring me. I texted him everything I felt and he didn't reply. I don't care if in these past 5 days I looked desperate. I just wanted to reach out and figure out what is going on. I don't understand how he can just ignore me after knowing each other intimately for over a year. I want us to be on good terms but it'll never be now. I'm heartbroken because as a girl, even though it started just as FWB, I invested way more emotionally. And this is my first time being dumped like this.
 

15 Replies


mamaluv
where did he get that idea? on Feb 23, 2012 @ 05:43 pm

How did he come to think that you were involved with someone else? If it's true, then he could be avoiding you to protect his heart.

If he made a wild assumption that has absolutely no basis in fact or even fabricated the whole thing, then it sounds like he wanted to move on and didn't know how to tell you to your face.

The fact that he's being silent is unfair to you. The fact that he seems to have sent you mixed messages feels unfair, but in a FWB relationship, it's never really "fair", is it? Any message he communicates could have multiple meanings.. or none at all. That's why it's so tricky to have that kind of relationship without getting hurt.

All I can say is to give him space. You've chased him enough at this point, so allow him to make the next move. And for your sake, I hope his next move is to say "I was captured by aliens and that's why I couldn't answer your text."

Keep smiling and learn from this experience! What's meant to happen will happen. It's such a trite line but I believe it's true.
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AngelinaRosaries
guys process emotional stuff slower on Feb 23, 2012 @ 05:47 pm

guys process emotional stuff slower, we women tend to sort it out. Guys take time.

Give it time...give yourself sometime to recover the emotional shock.

FWB is complicated to begin with, you are bound to emotionally get involve whether you remain friends or something more.

let him sort himself out, guys have their ways.

:)
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yellowrose77
moving forward on Feb 23, 2012 @ 06:47 pm

I did chase him for 5 days so I am stopping now. I will just move forward. There is nothing left to do. I hope I didn't scare him off though. Usually I am great at giving guys space but throughout our FWB relationship, I always kept my feelings in. So for the first time I felt like I should speak up for myself and demand answers even if I looked desperate.

Thanks for all your advice. :)
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AngelinaRosaries
i hear you on Feb 23, 2012 @ 10:43 pm

i hear you yellow... i have been desperate at one point...hope you recover from this emotional storm soon.

Angie
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AlexJC
Take a break from him! on Feb 24, 2012 @ 09:53 am

I don't want to say that he gave you a flimsy excuse because I don't know him or how your relationship developed, however, it does seem like (for whatever reason) he has changed his mind. I think that you did a very brave thing, putting yourself out there like that and I think maybe you guys both got caught up in the entire thing. Take a break from this, stop contacting him and give it some time.
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yellowrose77
totally moving forward on Mar 01, 2012 @ 12:52 am

So after a week has passed, he finally texted me and apologized for being a jerk. I asked him what is going on between us now and he said "I don't know." Then I asked if he just wants to stop seeing each other or pursue it? Then he said he doesn't know what he wants. Then I told him that I was interested in pursuing despite his jerky behavior then he said "I don't want to hurt you anymore and I feel that's all I'm gonna do so maybe it's better if u stop seeing me."
WTH?! That's a weird excuse! I can take it, I can take the truth if he just doesn't want to pursue it. I had fun with him, with our time together as FWB. Wow, I realized that he cannot talk about feelings! I don't know why I wanted him. It's like he likes drama. I'm not like that at all. I'm totally moving forward with life. And I'm glad that FWB ended cos it eventually had to end and now is the time. :)

Thanks again for all your advice.
Reply

Becky
I just love your positive attitude!! on Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:05 am

I just love your positive attitude! I agree, by his response he does sound like he enjoys the suspense and drama of it all, and who needs that?? I have some friends that enjoy it (secretly)....I don't get it. Good for you for recognizing what is, and moving on with such a healthy positive attitude!! Best of luck to you in a bright, healthy love filled future :-)
Reply

BettyfromCA
Life Goes On on May 06, 2012 @ 10:23 pm

Huh?

Regards,
BettyfromCA
Reply

KatelynRose1984
FWB? on May 23, 2012 @ 04:58 pm

That's the problem with FWB's. Move on, and find someone who appreciates you.
Reply

kimiko
Good for you! on May 23, 2012 @ 08:33 pm

Its always good to know when to walk away from a FWB. You go Yellow!
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