Late people!


Anonymous
on Oct 14, 2009 @ 06:00 pm

Ok, I'm pretty punctual but when I am late I'm only like 10-15 mins late - most times not even. And I always give a heads up. My friend has had a habit of being late ever since I've known her. She's very well aware of this bad habit but never seems to change despite how annoyed people get with her.

She's had a rough year so I wanted to do something nice for her b-day. I've got a lot on my plate as it is but wanted to take time to plan a dinner for her. I gave her plenty of notice. On the actual day, I decided to call her as I was leaving to let her know I'd be there in 20 mins. What does she tell me? She just left and she lives about 45 mins to an hour away! I was furious because a). if I hadn't called was she going to inform me of her extreme lateness? b). did she not care that I would be sitting in the restaurant by myself like a loser for almost an hour? c). did she not consider the restaurant wouldn't hold our reservation?

She knew I was pissed and apologized but laughed it off at the same time. That was annoying. I told her that she should have at least called me so I could see if they could hold our reservation. I just thought it was extremely rude and inconsiderate of my time. You try to do something nice and for what? Anyways, in the end they were able to push our reservation back and after a cocktail everything was ok!
 

14 Replies


MizzRobin
Yikes on Oct 14, 2009 @ 07:05 pm

I am of the belief that being chronically late is disrespectful to other people's time. Sometimes you can't avoid it...traffic, something comes up, etc...in which case the thoughtful thing to do, would be to call and let that person know why you are late and when to expect you.

I have a friend who was late all the time and it really started to bother me so I just told me and she tried her best to change it. I would be an hour away from her place and call her to tell her I am on my way and to get ready, then I would get there and she would be in her PJs because although she knew I was on my way, she got on an hour long phone call with someone and did not tell them she had to go get ready as she had plans and i was on my way... it wasn't an important call either, just a 'hey how are you doing chat'.... for me that was the final straw and when I told her that I can't take it when she does that.

Since then I am happy to report that she has realized where I was coming from and has made every effort to be on time.

If it really bothers you, I would just let her know.
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Anonymous
oh she knows... on Oct 14, 2009 @ 07:55 pm

lol I'm glad your friend made the change because she knew how important it was to you. I have told my friend many times about how annoying and inconsiderate her tardiness is. That night for her b-day I did tell her that it was inconsiderate of her not to call. She claims she really does try but I think she is spaciously challenged. She doesn't incorporate her traveling time. I think I'll just have to resort to telling her to be somewhere 1 hour ahead of the actual time!
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Ali de Bold
20 minutes on Oct 14, 2009 @ 09:04 pm

If someone is consistently late, they don't value your time. I had a friend like this once. She'd continually leave me sitting at restaurants for half an hour, 45 minutes without so much as an "I'm sorry". It drove me nuts.

One time I was sitting in a cafe waiting as usual and after 30 minutes, turned to the woman beside me and asked her how long she would wait for a friend before going home. She said, "20 minutes, tops!" That became my new rule. At bare minimum, a considerate friend would call you and explain where she is and when she'll get there instead of leaving you sitting there wondering if you got the meeting details wrong.

Ironically my friend was mad at me for leaving since she eventually showed up... 45 minutes late. To that I say, balls. She is no longer my friend.
Reply

Marayna
Oh dear... on Oct 15, 2009 @ 11:05 am

I have dealt with people being late ALL my life. My mother being one prime example - when she says 'half an hour', I automatically double it and make it an hour. But she's running her own business and sometimes things come up - so I have been understanding (most of the time).

As for friends, I hate it. There's no excuse for being late unless it was avoidable - traffic, a random long distance phone call from a long lost love, or you couldn't find your other shoe...or sock. But regardless, I like the 20 minute rule. I always try my best to value other peoples time and if I'm going to be late I send a message as soon as I can.
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Anonymous
good rule! on Oct 15, 2009 @ 11:19 am

20 minute rule works for me! I think it's fair especially if the friend hasn't called/texted, gotten in touch somehow to let you know she/he is going to be late. I might be more understanding if my friend ran her own business because things do come up but she doesn't!
Reply

shoppergirl
20 minute rule works on Oct 20, 2009 @ 08:19 pm

My rules (and all my friends know it) is that I will wait 15-20 minutes max and then I leave. It works out well because my friends know I will not be if they are later than that.
Reply

Mona
This is the best policy... on Oct 22, 2009 @ 04:38 pm

I'm a bit of a late bug sometimes. (I'll at
least call though) I'm not ever intentionally late, I just budget too
many activities in my day. I of course would apologize for my lateness,
however if I get a big guilty blast when I get there I'll
subconsciously drag my heels even more the next time. If they had a
rule where they just left if I was more than 15 min. late, then I'd
treat it like an appointment that I'd missed, and I'd hurry more the next time. A guilt trip
will just make me not want to hang out with them
Reply

Anonymous
Stop and smell the roses on Oct 22, 2009 @ 09:02 pm

I never plan anything at a specific time. I always plan a meet-up at someones house or work place beforehand so we can all go together. Or if were going some place where you have to wait for a table one of us will head over early to put our name in.

Texting/twitter/facebook/email/cellphones oh my. I rarely make it 10 minutes without hearing from one of my friends so we all pretty much know where everyone is.
Reply

MissLissa
maybe it's just me but.... on Oct 25, 2009 @ 04:37 pm

I don't think this is really that bad. I understand that it is frustrating and annoying to make all of these nice plans and have your friend show up late. But you said this is how she always is. And if she isn't changing when everyone else is irritated at her about it then that is just the person she is. I don't think she is constantly late out of disrespect to you and i honestly don't think she doesn't care about your feelings.

My bf and his entire family is always late. It was super upsetting when we were first dating to have to wait 30 mins after he said he would be around to pick me up. But over time I had learned that he isn't trying to be mean and he does care about the time he spends with me. All of his friends and family know to make sure that if a reservation is for 7pm, they tell him 630. I recommend doing that for your friend and instead of getting upset and frustrated just make the most of the time you spend together. I'm sure you'll have a better time if you just shrug it off and go with the flow.
Reply

merri
some people just cant help being late! on Oct 26, 2009 @ 09:17 pm

i'm always late.. and my best friends are even later than i am. theyre so late that if i tell our other friends that im coming with them, they just assume we will be really late. i really dont think that people sit around TRYING to be late. if someone, like myself, has no good concept of time, a short attention span, no concept of distance, and gets lost easily, we're bound to be late. my mother always told my father we had to be places earlier than we did, just because she knew he would always be late. she does that for me too. i can be trying really hard to make something on time, and suddenly, i'm late. i dont even know where the time went! so, i dont really think you should get mad at your late friends. its like being mad at someone for being left handed. its just an inborn trait...
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