Met a guy online


midnightsun2288
on Aug 24, 2013 @ 01:57 pm

I met a guy online not too long ago (not through a dating site, just through a chat site) and we have been emailing all day everyday and video chatting at night. He doesnt live really far away and he has been talking about coming to see me, but i am nervous because i have never done anything like this. Any saftey tips, suggestions, or advice?
 


7 Replies


TigerLilly
Public Place on Aug 24, 2013 @ 03:56 pm

I've met guys online through dating sites before which is similarish. The main thing I'd say is meet in a public place because he could be a weirdo.
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EverydayCait
Play it Safe on Aug 24, 2013 @ 06:07 pm

Always tell somebody where you're going, and things like when you'll back, and make sure you call or text to tell them if the plans change. I also agree that a public place is best. Don't give out things like your address to them either until you know that you can trust them. My best piece of advice is to trust your gut. If it feels like something is off, play it safe. Lots of people meet each other online now, so it's not unusual anymore, but you do want to be safe.
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mamaluv
Make your first meeting really low-key on Aug 26, 2013 @ 09:23 am

Meet for a simple coffee or go to a ball game together for the first date - places where you're among a sea of other people and can make an easy exit if the date is not going well. Make sure it's during daylight hours only so there's no expectations for nighttime shenanigans.

Also, schedule with a girlfriend that she should call you at a certain time (say 1 hour into your date). Establish a code word or phrase so that she knows if you're having a good time or really need her to come up with a fake emergency so that you need to leave immediately.

And, as I'm sure you already know, take it slow! Don't rush to intimacy or give out too much personal information until you feel more confident about the guy. If possible, try to arrange some group or double dates with friends so that you can see him interact in that way. Sometimes a guy will behave differently when other men are around - more macho and douchy or maybe prove himself to be a true gentleman.

Good luck!
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AlexJC
Online Dating on Aug 26, 2013 @ 10:00 am

I am an online dating expert! Don't worry, I got you covered. You can read my experiences here and here.

I was really really really nervous the first time but it turned out really well and the more dates you go on, the more comfortable with the process you become. I actually met my current boyfriend online.

First, trust your gut. I know that sounds a little common sense but if anything the guy has said to you in conversation that seems off, then don't go. If your gut is telling you something is off, it's probably right. There was one guy I just didn't feel right about meeting and I decided last minute to break it off. Kind of douchy, but better safe than sorry. Your safety comes first. The fact that you've video chatted is a good sign too! It means he is transparent and not evasive.

Second, let people know where you are, where you will meet him and give them his name. Meet in a public place- a coffee shop, a busy restaurant with lots of people. Have a friend check in with you at a certain time by calling or texting and tell them that if you don't respond within a certain time, then to worry. Or, tell them you will call them at a certain time. Excuse yourself to the washroom with your phone and call your friends.

The next thing I won't recommend but I will say that I did it: google search. I like to check someone out a bit before I meet them. I would do a quick name search to see if I could find them on facebook or twitter just to see what they were like online.

On your date, most people like going for coffee, I prefer something a little stronger to calm my nerves. That being said, do not go overboard. On one particular time, I drank a bit too much and I had annnn ammmmazzinnggg time. Only not really, it was mostly the drink having fun and the second date I agreed to was not as good. Try doing an activity or seeing something that you can both comment and talk about. I love sporting games, art galleries or something active.

Have fun!
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KatelynRose1984
Public Meet on Aug 26, 2013 @ 01:22 pm


Biggest tip for those who are meeting someone for the first time is to meet them in a very public place, and sometimes it's good to have a friend drive you & pick you up. That's what I always did when I met up with people online, from online dating sites.
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TigerLilly
Disagree about a ball game on Aug 27, 2013 @ 12:23 pm

I'd disagree with mamaluv about going to a ball game on a first date. It is in a public place, which is good, but they can just be really long! If you find out that he's not what he seems in person or the connection just isn't there, better to just sit for an hour with a coffee or drink as opposed to having to sit through a whole baseball game!
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chicky82
Public place is best on Aug 27, 2013 @ 12:39 pm

I agree with most of the posters here, go for coffee in a public place, make sure someone knows when and where you are going and have someone check up on you and maybe pick you up at a designated time and place, if things are going well, there will be time in the future to spend more time together.

Don't go for drinks even though it is a public place, people are too involved with themselves in case something goes wrong and it's easy to get caught up in the atmosphere and drink too much or worse yet, have your drink spiked :(

My best advice is to be cautious and maybe get to the arranged area first to see him come in to get a good impression on how he treats others before he sees you.

There are some decent people out there and long term fulfilling relationships can be found online, I know because my bf and I met online and we've been together for more than 10 years :)

Best of luck
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