Mixed Signals

on Jan 16, 2012 @ 09:44 am

Hey ladies. 

I just need some insight, I suppose. 

I've been seeing this boy for a month-ish now.  We see each other nearly every other day.  I've been in the horrifying "what are we" mindset now for a while.  Last night my fears became a reality.  We started to have "the talk."  ...before I begin, lets get a back ground, shall we? 

Boy: 25 years old.  Got out of a 5 year relationship in August of 2011.  We've known each other for a few months. 

Continuing on.  So, basically I got the "it's not you, its me" deal.  As well as, well I'm not capable of relationships, I have no heart.  Then he came to the conclusion of "we're just friends, hanging out."  Well, last time I checked, I didn't cuddle, hold hands and make out with my friends. 

I feel extremely hurt and confused right now.  If he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, why is he pulling me in like this.  Why do we cuddle when we're together?  Why does he brush the hair away from my face and kiss my forehead?  Why does he take me out to dinner and movies and moonlight walks? I just don't understand.  That's not friends last time I checked. 

Is it going to get better?  Will he change?  Is this some horrible sign that I should be running and screaming in the other direction? 


4 Replies

Ali de Bold
He's not ready on Jan 16, 2012 @ 10:37 am

The very best thing you can do in this situation (and I'm sorry this has happened to you), is to stop seeing him. Period. Don't try to be his friend as you will only hope for more and continue to be hurt.

If you decide to continue spending time with him he will probably treat you like a friend with benefits, which will make you feel used and worthless.

I suspect he isn't ready and he may still be thinking of his ex. 5 years is a long time and she was probably his first love. First loves take a loooong time to get over. Regardless of what he says about being over her.

If you walk away now, you have your dignity and self worth intact and if/when he is ready to move on, he will remember what a great girl you are and that he'll have to be committed if he wants to give it another shot.

Take care of yourself. XO

I agree on Jan 16, 2012 @ 11:37 am

I agree with Ali. Walk away and he will either realize how much you really do mean to him or you will both move on to something better for you both. I know it is difficult. I've been there... I was "seeing" a guy who did not want to commit. Finally we decided to stop seeing eachother... it was really hard! But the NEXT DAY he called me and had to see me... he admitted he made a mistake and wanted me in his life... we are still together and very happy!

Good luck! Take Care.

take care of yourself on Jan 16, 2012 @ 01:38 pm

Above two ladies gave great advise. So I can only echo them. Take care of yourself. Don't be in a relationship that compromises your self worth or leaves you feeling misled and hurt. It's hurtful and hard to move on now, think of how much worse it will get if he doesn't commit and if things continue on as they have been? Think of yourself and do what is right for you. *hugs*

Thanks loves. on Jan 16, 2012 @ 09:38 pm

Ali - Thanks. Yes, I understand 5 years is a long time. It's just hard to deal with since HE initiated everything. So lame... Thank you very much. xo

Patricia - Thank you! That's really great to hear. It's nice to think that something good may come out of this. :S Thanks again. xo

Becky - I'm trying, its just hard. I so badly want things to work out. :( It really sucks. Thanks a lot for your support. xo

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