Mother in law

on Apr 25, 2016 @ 05:33 pm

What would say if your mother in law says to you that if you get pregnant again. She will disown you because you can't take care of the kids you have.

Well this was what was said to me recently and has bothering me since. I take good care of my babies and just because I'm disabled dosent mean I'm not capable. I just sat there in shock that she said this to me. I'm passive which sucks. I felt like if I snapped back she would not watch my babies when I go on my trip in May. We don't have much support to help with the kids when I have trips to go to. She is the the only one. It sucks and it hurts.

12 Replies

. on Apr 25, 2016 @ 05:56 pm

That's horrible. I'd tell her just what you said ' just because I'm disabled, does not mean that I am incapable. I love you and appreciate all your support but that really upsets me'. Talk to your hubby about it too he should stand by you and defend you, even against his own mother. Don't let it get to you. YOU know that you are a godmother and so do your kids and hubby.

Hey on Apr 25, 2016 @ 08:32 pm

Yea I know I'm doing my best and that's what counts. If you knew her, you would understand why she says the things she does. I believe it's because she can and she is so old fashion and set in her ways. No excuses though. Ugh she is good hearted but she can be awfully cruel. My fiancé is almost at his breaking point with his mom because of how she is and what she says. He doesn't take any crap from her but I am quite passive and she says things when he is not around. She even says things behind his back to me and it hurts. I tell him but he is just used to it and when of these days he is going to disown her.

. on Apr 26, 2016 @ 12:06 am

You don't deserve to be treated this way. Having a disability isn't something you choose to have and I'm sure you would give anything to be able to see normally again, so that you can enjoy more things with your family. From what I gather, she is obviously too insensitive or (forgive me) ignorant to understand this. Please don't take her comments personally. She is the one with the problem, not you. I'm sure you are doing everything in your power to be a good mom to your kids.

Whether or not you decide to have more kids is up to you and your husband alone. She has no business meddling in that department in the first place. I agree with KrissiC about letting her know how you feel. I also think you should consider looking for another alternative for caring for your kids, in case something doesn't work out with her in the future.


. on Jun 11, 2016 @ 11:15 pm

That's horrible.
I'm not fancy for my mother or father in law. They are ruthless and pretend to care about their grandkids I've given them. It's all a show...they talk about my kids to their friends like they see them all the time. When really my in laws are only around for special occasions.
They could be 5 min away from our house and wouldn't stop by.
Pls have a backbone and stick up for yourself. I let my In laws be rude to me toooooo much and finally I started using my mouth back.
Now since I've done that they appear to dislike me more. And guess what ... I don't care!!! I married their son not them.
Don't let them get u down.

. on Jun 12, 2016 @ 12:27 am

Wow...that's insensitive, rude, and pretty intrusive. I think you should start by having a heart to heart with your husband about what is off limits in the in laws input. Then maybe decide if he should chat with them alone, or all sit down together, and try to understand what prompted them to say such a vicious thing. I would not let them hold you hostage in exchange for babysitting services. If watching their grandchildren seems like a free pass to decide you and your husband's family planning, it's probably better to move away from that situation and find other arrangements. If they value time with their grandkids, they should be glad to have time with them while you get away. And being disabled is. To an indicator of good or bad parenting. Good luck, hope it works out for you.

Mother in Law on Jun 12, 2016 @ 08:02 am

It's sad ,but I can believe you,a lot of Mother- In- Laws are like that.I certainly wouldn't let her get to me.It sound like you are quite capable taking care of your kids,you never mentioned their ages?No body has the right to say to you, no more kids,that is a decision between you and your Husband.You and only you know your capabilities and what you can handle.If it were me,I would sit down with her,Husband present also(very important)and have a quiet didcussion to find out what eaally is going on in her mind.You never said if he was a Moma's boy or not?Sounds like she wants control and is trying to run her sons life again but,she has to understand that you are a married couple now and all decisions are made between Husband & Wife.You definiately need a talk all three of you,at least you'll find out where you stand with her.Good Luck to you my friend .Stop worrying.

. on Jun 12, 2016 @ 04:37 pm

Sorry to hear that your Mother-in-Law is rude towards you. I'm not sure what is with mother in laws and daughter in laws but it seems like there's always some kind of tensions one way or another. I've heard countless stories. Before I got married, I keep hearing close friends and family warn me about Mother-in-laws. I'm not a mother myself but I could understand what a mother goes through when she feels she is loosing her son to another women. I believe it's somewhat of a power struggle with the mother in law with the daughter in law. I have taken a very wise man's (very old man) advice to not let anything my mother in law tells me to get to me. It goes in one ear and out the other. At the end of the day, that is my husbands mother, I will have a very miserable future if I take everything she says to heart.

To answer your question, I wouldn't put anything your mother in law says to heart. Whatever ever reason she has to tell you, you can't have kids anymore or else she will disowned you, she is still wrong for telling you such vicious things. If you still need her assistance for babysitting and etc. I would just ignore her, Sometimes I think when Mother in laws says and does things to get attention from her son. Try being non-nonchalant and see how it goes.

My mother in law is a nice person at heart but she does say random things which used to bug the heck out of me. I just keep repeating to myself to ignore her. My husband is her only child, I think she feels she needs that power over him. I just take it as it's her issue to deal with. She's nice to me most of the time but just would not stop talking about non-sense. i.e. my husband would order certain types of food because I like it when we go out to eat. She would then tell me that oh you know it's his favorite. She doesn't know but always tries to tell me she knows better than me. Which that is her son, I'll give that to her. :) I used to try to talk about it with my husband, and he would stick up for me. Then I realize quickly that I just can't (as a wife) put him in that spot anymore. It's very tough for the husband when these things happened.

Just live your lives the way you and your husband plans it to be and everything will be okay. :) Try not let what she says get to you. ( I know it's hard) but will make your life a lot easier.

Hey on Jun 12, 2016 @ 06:11 pm

Good advice girls :) thank you.

!!! on Jun 13, 2016 @ 12:17 am

What a beetch! Sorry, but that made me so mad. Just tell her what you told us. I know how you feel, because I've been quite passive in the past, but just tell her straight and polite that what she said was extremely rude and inappropriate. Some people will walk all over you if you let them, but that's really crossing a line to say that!

Typical on Jun 15, 2016 @ 02:47 pm

Youre being kind and not saying horrible things while she runs her mouth. Gee how fair. She clearly has some serious issues of hef own she needs to deal with instead of lashing out at you.

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