My bf is into my sis and other girls! Help me!

on Jul 14, 2011 @ 03:36 pm

I feel so many emotions right now. I don't seem to ever have luck with my last one dumped me for my bro's ex wife and now I have been informed by my boyfriend that he thinks my sister is a "spicy babe" Here is my story...what should I do!?

I met Sedrick 2.5 months ago and everything was going really well. He kept saying he loved me and I was his girl and all those pretty words. The relationship was moving really quickly and I was ready to move in with him or vice versa. Everything felt SO right this time and I was giddy all the time. I could see myself with Sedrick for the rest of my life.

Over the weekend my family met Sedrick for the first time and Sedrick kept making these weird faces at my older sister Evette. I tried to ignore it, but eventually it got really annoying so I pulled him aside and asked him what was up. He said that just because we were dating did not mean he could not check out other chicks and even said my sister was a "spicy babe" and hard not to notice. I guess this is fair I mean he will still notice other girls, but my own sister? I did not say anything to him after that, but Evette was acting a teeny bit flirty with him and he was flirting back. It made me uncomfortable except Evette usually gets a lot of guy attention so I did not want to make something out of nothing.

Any how since that event last weekend I have really been thinking about what Sedrick said and wondering if I am being too sensitive. I really like Sedrick, but I don't want him to be into other girls and especially not my own sister! I am really confused and I don't know what I should do. Can someone please give me some advice?


8 Replies

Awkward Situation! on Jul 14, 2011 @ 03:42 pm

That is a really awkward situation. My advice is to first have a convo with your sister, Evette and ask her if she felt his actions were inappropriate. Talking about the situation with someone else who was a part of it will help you to decide if Sedrick is really the right guy for you.

I agree with Glamgal on Jul 14, 2011 @ 03:48 pm

Communication is key to figure out what is really going on. I think in addition to talking to your sister about it, you need to sit down with Sederick and talk to him as well. Be direct and let him know that this is not okay and you feel uncomfortable about his actions towards your own sister. If he continues to be like this, maybe it's best to send him out the door. If you can't even trust him with your sister, how can you trust him with other "hot" girls?

uh oh on Jul 14, 2011 @ 04:08 pm

Honey, this is bad news. Here's why:

#1 - you've been together for just 2 months. You should still be in the honeymoon phase and not checking out other people!

#1 - attractive people are all around us. You can't help seeing them, but you CAN help goggling at them and flirting. The first is excusable, the second is purposeful and wrong.

#1 - moving in together (or nearly about to, anyway) means that you are in a serious relationship. At least, that's what it certainly should mean. His comments and actions are inappropriate and not consistent for a man who should be committed to you.

#1 - it's irrelevant if your sister felt his actions were inappropriate. She's not the one dating Sedrick, you are. If you feel uncomfortable with his behaviour, that's the only thing that really matters here, especially since he admitted that he was checking her out.

Nope, it's not a typo that these are all #1. They are all equally important. Here's another reality check: just because someone is your sister does not mean that she will keep your bf in the cold. She should, but you just have to watch 5 minutes of Jerry Springer to know that what I'm saying is sadly true.

Trust your judgment here. If I were in your shoes I'd see these as some big red flags. I'm not saying you and Sedrick can't get past these issues, but to think this is not a big deal will only lead to worse. Deal with this now before you move in together!


Ali de Bold
He sounds a bit immature on Jul 15, 2011 @ 01:28 pm

That's just a no-no. If he's really serious about you there is no need to ogle your sister. Also, 2.5 months is a very short amount of time to consider being serious with someone. I'd slow things right down. This is not the time to talk about moving in. You may be having a great time so far but there is a lot you don't know about each other - including his ability to control himself around other women.

As for your sister, she shouldn't have flirted with him. That is a violation of girl code. She's probably used to getting a lot of attention, but she should have ignored it from him since he is your boyfriend.

"I don't like it when" talk. on Jul 19, 2011 @ 12:47 pm

I agree completely with mamaluv and ali-de-bold.

My boyfriend and I took a very long time to work out the "I dont like it when" talk. Because everyone is different and some relationships are strickly one on one. While others allow flirting, checking out and even occasional other partners. You need to sit down and talk with him and tell him how you feel. Or it will cause a lot of problems.

Communication is always Key.

Hope it's okay on Jul 19, 2011 @ 02:06 pm

Hey Ohlalalane, hope everything goes well. Keep us posted on how things go!

Not a keeper on Jan 13, 2012 @ 09:37 am

I echo what Mamaluv and Ali posted. I know there can be a lot of emotions already involved before a 3 month stage, but you know what? It's still too soon to consider moving in. There is SOO much responsibility and differences when you HAVE to share your personal space with someone and start invading there's when you live together.
What he did to your sister and to you is very disrespectful no matter what stage of a relationship. Why couldn't he have better manners and just say that your sister is beautiful? Why give her weird looks and make an immature comment? This guy is definitely not a keeper in my books.

CURBSIDE on Jan 13, 2012 @ 03:52 pm

.....that is all.

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