Never lose yourself!


karma0317
on Sep 14, 2016 @ 09:44 pm

I use to be in a relationship where my boyfriend was mentally, emotional and verbally abusive. He would put me down for everything, and never praised me for all the right things I did. He held things from my past in our current relationship. He called me every single name in the book that you can think of. At first the relationship was in the "honeymoon" stages. After the honeymoon, he's true colours came out. He was also an alcoholic and was very mean when he was drunk. I was in this relationship for 5 years. I did make attempts to leave, but he was the type of guy that said the right things to lure me back in, and bam everything was back to the same. Everyone asked me what the hell, why would you stay. More and more I was sucked in deeper and deeper, and became more and more afraid. Towards the end of the relationship, he would threaten me that if I ever left he would hurt my family, (cause my brother to lose his job, make sure my father had a second heart attack, etc.) When I final got the courage to leave, I never looked back. I realized that all his threats were empty. This reason I'm posting this is because I want women to know you're not alone. Never let a man put you down and what he say about you... well that's just his opinion. I was happy with my decision of leaving. Believe me, after the break up it was hard to put myself back together because all I thought about were the negative things he said about me. But after spending a lot of alone time with myself, I started remembering all the things that I loved about myself. I remembered the person that I was before he came along. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, but no one has the right to hold it against you. Unless you broke the law... well then.... At this point, I've gained so much more being without him, than to stay with him and lose people and things. I was not allowed to have a social life without him. If I went out with friends he was ringing down my phone, and questioning me about who's around me and why are other guys around. He was always so insecure that I was sleeping with other men. And no I don't sleep around. My number of men I slept with is still in the lower single digits. So girls if you ever feel like this please don't. It breaks my heart that women are going through this when they don't deserve treatment like that. I look at that relationship as a life lesson, and because of it it made me a stronger person. If I can do it you can too. 
 

13 Replies


dcossar
. on Sep 14, 2016 @ 11:10 pm

Very well said! Good for you for finding the strength within yourself to leave for good! No one deserves to be in a relationship like that! Some men prey on women's insecurities and they truly believe no one will love them like "he" does! So sad and so not true!!
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wonderwhatif
You go girl! on Sep 15, 2016 @ 12:15 am

Congatulations on breaking free of an abusive relationship! Things are only going to go from good to even better in your life now! It's so hard because those partners are so manipulative that if you don't have 100% confidence in yourself they can easily hook you and unfortunately once they have you they will erode your confidence to near nothing.

Thank you for your support to other women!

And just a reminder ladies, if you're partner is abusive and you want to leave, but are afraid or don't know how, please discreetly contact your local women's shelter and they can help you.

Unfortunately so many women are killed or seriously injured by their partners, so they have all the resources to help protect you!
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Sammitheleo
Proud! on Sep 15, 2016 @ 11:43 am

I am so proud of you for writing this, and sharing your story to help other women and possibly men out in the world.

It's a nice feeling coming "out of the dark". Pat yourself on the back and wear your pride of accomplishment!

CONGRATS!


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karma0317
Thank you on Sep 15, 2016 @ 12:15 pm

I want to thank all of you ladies who have replied. It's sad. I want to say I agree with wonderwhatif, you are right about getting help. There are a lot of support groups that are willing to help u in situations like this. Please don't fear that things will get worse. For me I did a lot of praying, and asked for strength, and my miracle came to me. The day my niece was born was my breaking point. She was my strength because when I held her in my arms, I said to her, I never want you to see me other than happy. I never wanted her to know the pain a man was causing me. My ex, who claimed to love me sooooo much, knew exactly how to manipulate me. I was so blinded with his charm that in the beginning I opened up to him. What I failed to realize was that was his way of getting information about me so that he can use against me. I think that whatever happened before him should not have affected our relationship. He told me that the reason he would not take pictures with me was because he was embarrassed that he's gf that he's posing with is "garbage" "whore" "the town's bicycle" etc. There are a lot of things that I can discuss about this relationship. Before, I felt ashamed because prior to this relationship I was very strong and independent and I let this ass take it all away and control my power. Now, sharing my story, I feel like its time to try to help others that are going through this. I want people to know that you can survive and enjoy life to the fullest regardless of what happened. Never have regrets in life, use every moment to educate yourself.
Sammitheleo thank you so much for saying that. I'm proud of myself too. It was an extremely dark place that I wish never to return to. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Thanks ladies.
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Sammitheleo
:) on Sep 15, 2016 @ 12:20 pm

Share anytime Karma. It helps not just you but without knowing it you are helping others.

I truly hope you are gaining/gained your strength and love of yourself back.

We are all on this earth for a purpose and not to be looked down upon or walked upon

xox

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wendyroy
. on Sep 15, 2016 @ 12:26 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story @karma0317. You will never know how many other ladies you have inspired to make positive changes, or at least planted a seed.

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karma0317
:) on Sep 15, 2016 @ 08:55 pm

@wendyroy thank you for saying that, and I really hope that I can help others. :)
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prettyrainbow
. on Sep 16, 2016 @ 06:11 pm

You're such an inspiration to many out there who are struggling with similar situations. It takes a lot of courage to finally share your story and admit that you were being abused. Not many people can bring themselves to do that for fear of being judged by others or the uncertainty of where it will lead them if they leave. You're such a strong woman and although I don't know you personally, I am proud of you for having realized your worth and shown yourself love and respect. Thank you for letting us know your story and enjoy the happier life ahead of you! <3
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karma0317
:) on Sep 16, 2016 @ 08:10 pm

@prettyrainbow that you for your response. I'm happy to see others that are finding what I wrote a great achievement. It is hard to tell the world what happened in my life, and there are some things that I've felt ashamed about, but I've slowly come to the realization that things that happened to me are not my fault and I shouldn't be ashamed. I honestly want to help others with similar situations. I want to personally thank you for your positive words. Everything that all you ladies have said so far, I've taken to heart. Thank you all
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DEANENE
on Sep 17 @ 7:04 A.M. on Sep 17, 2016 @ 07:06 am

I'm very proud of you for having the strength and courage for leaving and for helping other ladies who are going threw the same situation you're a great inspiration
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