new to this- def need help :"(

on Nov 11, 2011 @ 09:44 pm

Let me get to the point, i will try not to be too wordy.

My boyfriend of a couple years and i broke up months ago after i found him talking to a girl. A girl who he should have had NO contact with, and for him to be chatting her up late at night...i knew something was up. He literally denied talking to her when I asked what they were talking about . (clearly i could see he was) . The break up was beyond shattering, he blamed it on me. As if i had lied to HIS face? I have been having a horrible time dealing with my heartbreak, hiding it after a few months because i just feel pathetic.

I knew something was going on with this girl ( gut instinct and lies are never wrong sadly) . I found out yesterday they really have been dating. I am so devastated. I have seen a pic of them and i literally felt sick. How can he look so happy after throwing us away and tearing me apart like this.

I haven't had contact with him AT ALL since the break up CALL. He has contacted me a few times but I never replied.

I am in so much pain. I feel like I should be over this by now but I sincerely loved him, and thought what we had was worth so much more.

Will he ever regret this?

I just want to breathe without it hurting, dream without seeing him, wake up and not reach for him, and to not compare myself to this new girl who is now in the life i miss so much. She had to know about me, how can she be okay with inflicting that kind of heartbreak. I could never do that to another woman.

I just feel sick , and so unbelievably shattered.

5 Replies

*big hugs* on Nov 12, 2011 @ 12:03 pm

aww girl i hear and read about heartbreak almost everyday, but yours really touched me. I know exactly how you're feeling right now, believe me when I say we've all been through it at some point or other!

Breakup is never easy, and I don't know about the other ladies here, but for me, it makes me pretty stupid. Like, I'd do stupidly pathetic things that I normally would never ever do. So for you to realize something was wrong and not allow yourself to be convinced by his lies shoes great sense of self respect, and you didn't return his contact attempts even though you're hurting so much inside shows tremendous maturity! You should be so proud of yourself for the way you're reacting to this event in your life!! I couldn't even hope to handle it as well as you are!!

Comparing yourself to her, seeing her live the life you had and hurting for it is very normal. All I can say about her side is, I betcha she doesn't know a single truth about you or your relationship. I betcha to her you are probably a psycho crazy stalker girl. He lied to you, you expect him to be honest to her? And you really think he was honest with her? Ummm, he had a relationship with you and managed to lie to your face, you don't think the only way he got her and is keeping her is through sympathy from having escaped his crazy ex? Of course he is. Once a liar, always a liar, ditto for cheater.

Cliche but with time this will get better, and you will get stronger. When you feel sick with grief, I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but try to think back and recognize that the one single lie he gave you (that you mentioned) isn't his only lie or transgression. And try identify that you don't miss HIM, you miss who you thought he was and the life you thought you had.

big hugs to you gf...i pray you feel better very soon <3

i feel like a fool on Nov 12, 2011 @ 12:36 pm

Thank you for your advice and kind words. I just feel so foolish. I was been badly heartbroken before but never this badly. A week or so before the break up he actually brought up running into the girl and i made a joke about them dating <----f*ck my life. Now they are. All of it is just killing me. I can't quit replaying everything in my mind, and how some red flags now make total sense in the worst way. I'm so scared that THIS relationship will last...that he will be good to her, become what i loved with her.

For him to possibly be saying im crazy or some awful ex is soul crushing. I never lied to him, never cheated, and I was really his biggest fan. Close to him, his family, his life.

Even the days leading up to the break up HE was bringing up our future, and HE was expressing his feelings for me. I didn't bring the mushy stuff up, he did.

I feel like his whole being is him half wanting to be this mature, hard working, stand up guy ..and the other half is a lying, all about showing off material items, insecure guy who has to feel like he is some kind of pimp pulling whatever chick he wants. Like he battles two personalities.

There are no consequences for his actions, and I (the one who just wanted to love him) gets the pain..and heartache. I wasn't a perfect girlfriend, but I tried. If I have a fault I will work on it, if someone says i hurt them i will do everything in my power to never do it again.

I know it sounds immature but God I hope Karma catches up to him...and one day he realizes what he lost .

I've had a lot of rough times in my life..but i am good to people. Why can't I be the one happy?

I feel like a teenager being this hurt..and I'm an adult. :/

!!!! on Nov 13, 2011 @ 03:51 pm


Any guy who could be so cruel aint the guy for you chicky! You deserve wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy better. He might not ever regret it, he is lower than scum on a rotten should not care about him, or how he feels about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Stay Strong! on Nov 13, 2011 @ 03:58 pm

Try and keep positive, try to forget him......he was a bad boy!

What a jerk! on Nov 14, 2011 @ 11:17 am

He sounds like a real jerk and you should be happy you are out of that relationship!

Now is the time to really push him and this girl out of your life. Don't reply to his attempts at trying to contact you- no doubt he wants forgiveness and I don't think you need to give it to him if you don't want to. I think karma will catch up with him one day- my advice is to take the high road and forget him!

Try not to dwell too much on how he or this girl are doing. I know from experience that this just brings you down even more.

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