Nobody Listens


ChocoVie
on Jul 04, 2016 @ 11:36 pm

I notice for awhile now when i'm talking to people they don't want to listen to what I have to say, literally I was talking to my sister and she didn't let me finish explaining myself. 5 words into what i was saying and she immediately said " No, it's not like that, you don't understand" and continued the conversation. 
I don't know if any of you Chickies notice this with your family, or friends but it's really hard to be "included" in a convo, but not able to contribute? Please shae your stories aswell!
 

14 Replies


Boychuk25
You're not alone on Jul 04, 2016 @ 11:47 pm

I notice the same sort of thing.
I notice that people just don't seem to care to have social relationships in person. Everything seems to be via social network on texting. I like to meet with people and interact and hold conversations. But it seems that's just not how people want to operate anymore.
When people have issues they're dealing with, I'm so quick to listen and give my 2 cents but when I need someone to speak with I might as well talk to myself.
I don't know why things seem this way but I'm with u and feel the same.
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prettyrainbow
. on Jul 04, 2016 @ 11:51 pm

I often say, people listen to reply and not to understand. You can approach her by saying that you need exactly that - for her to understand what you are about to express, so you'd appreciate if you can finish speaking, without any interruptions. If she does interrupt, I would tell her that you'll come back later when she's ready to let you finish what you were going to say. That usually lets them reflect and give you the time you need to speak.

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ChocoVie
. on Jul 05, 2016 @ 12:03 am

It's pointless my mother clarified by mouthing to me behind her (my sister) "she's not getting it " I've rested my case, and the only good thing is that I haven't gotten frustrated like I would of expected myself to react. I am very quick tempered, but I am still working on my "neutral face" and it's coming along very nicely.
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jujusamples
. on Jul 05, 2016 @ 01:46 am

@ChocoVie, What I've learnt from a cognitive behavior course I was taking. Almost everyone has someone in the family that doesn't listen. My family is notorious for that. So here is what I've learnt and it works like a charm without arguing;

Just nicely ask her after she interrupts you, did you hear what I just said? Ask that question as nicely and as calmly as possible. It works! It didn't think any hearing aid could fix anyone in family. Apparently it's human nature to reminded and by asking that simple question, she will stop and think about it. A lot of people in my class said it worked for them as well.
Reply

wendyroy
. on Jul 05, 2016 @ 01:17 pm

A tip I learned a long time ago is to wait until someone has stopped talking for 2 seconds before saying anything. The psychology is that the silence will cause them to either continue talking, get the wind out of their sails so to speak, or will be hanging on your next word. I agree with Prettyrainbow, most people are formulating their next thought rather than listening to understand. Specifically with your sister, have you tried asking"are you finished? ", and then continuing. Nice subtle message that sometimes works.
And we hear you ;-)
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wonderwhatif
. on Jul 05, 2016 @ 02:37 pm

My sister is the same way! In my experience there are two of those types. People like me, who are just excited and talkative and don't realise they've interrupted you and appreciate it if you bring it up gently.

Or two. People like my sister who are just self-involved and will literally never change.

C'est la vie. :(
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Tracyr
. on Jul 05, 2016 @ 03:43 pm

I know exactly what you talking about ,I also deal with family members who do that ,I think it's disrespectful
Reply

fishinggal
. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 12:10 am

It's definitely happened to me with certain family members and it made me feel like I didn't matter. It is really frustrating, and hurtful. Some people are just too into themselves to care about others opinions or thoughts or to just be polite. It's difficult to have 'real' conversations when you are being interrupted. It is just disrespectful.
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prettyrainbow
. on Jul 06, 2016 @ 01:10 am

@wendyroy - Yes! The tips you mentioned are proven to work. Great thinking!
Reply

ChocoVie
Two on Jul 06, 2016 @ 01:48 am

My sister fits this description so well :)
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