Once a player, always a player?


Nikkilicious
on Feb 17, 2009 @ 06:39 pm

Hey guys,
Ive really started liking my best guy mate more than friends. Im not even sure if I want more because I dont want to risk our friendship....but he is (or was) a major player. 

Hes 29 and has slept with around 50 girls. He gets alot of texts and 'come out tonight' texts and a few girls chasing him.

Do you think that a guy can change his ways if he likes someone? And instead of me making another thread...do you think you can ever successfully go from friends to more? He has told me he likes me more than friends also and wants to give it a go. Im 24.

Thanks in advance x

 


9 Replies


Anonymous
hmmm on Feb 17, 2009 @ 10:32 pm

hmmm thats a hard one. i would normally say once a player always a player lol. but you never, if he really likes you enough he should change his ways. you tow could always talk about it and see what happens, but always remember the possiblely that he might now change. do u think you'd be able to stay friend with him after.
Reply

Ali de Bold
Actions speak louder than words on Feb 18, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

If he wants to change he will and it will be quite obvious. I would ignore everything he says and instead see if his behaviour changes. Are you another conquest or has he really turned over a new leaf? Is his phone still ringing off the hook? Is he still having dates with other women or late night visits?

If he really wants to be with you, he wouldn't be available for any of those other girls and he would focus his energy on trying to win you over.

At this point I would not allow yourself to be another of his conquests. Health concerns aside, it would ruin the friendship and you would end up feeling used. Better to be the girl he didn't get, than another notch on his belt.

If you really like him and want to give it a shot, let him do all of the work. Don't be available every time he calls. If he wants to change his ways, let him change them first and then consider if you want to be with him.
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Nikkilicious
I was right on Feb 23, 2009 @ 08:24 pm

Turns out he hasnt changed one bit! I made the mistake of sleeping with him last weekend.... I know I know.
Have barely heard from him since then I find out hes deleted me off my space. And is moving into town and needs a flatmate and guess whos moving in? His model looking ex!

Grrr.... I was so silly to think guys can change their ways. I officially hate men. Thanks for all your advice x
Reply

Ali de Bold
So sorry to hear that on Feb 23, 2009 @ 09:36 pm

Sounds like a loser though, so not really a loss for you.  Sorry you had to go through that :(
Reply

Anony Mouse
Eyes wide open on Feb 25, 2009 @ 09:19 am

Yes of course once a player always a player! Girls, when will you learn? It sounds like you went into this with your eyes open. Take off your rose colored glasses and face the sunshine! Don't waste any more of your valuable time.
Reply

Nikkilicious
I know.... on Feb 25, 2009 @ 08:05 pm

Thats just it, when it comes to this kind of thing im the biggest cynic around! I believe that once a player always a player (until they grow out of it anyway, whenever the hell that is)
But with this guy, we were mates first. And stupid me, I guess for once I took down my guard and tried to believe that not every guy was the same....

Goes to show guys never really do change. Its a shame guys dont value sex and treat girls like crap. Grrr I really hate men right now lol
Reply

silvercity
... on Feb 25, 2009 @ 09:32 pm

So you slept with him...don't make a big deal out of it...did you at least have a good time? I sure hope so lol And yes, he may be a loser and all that jazz...but don't knock yourself down for sleeping with him....enjoy the moment ;)
Reply

VitruvianWoman
Players! on Feb 26, 2009 @ 11:53 am

Well, you can always tell everyone how horrible he is in bed, even if he's isn't. OH SNAP! Nah, I'm kidding. I just love revenge.

But hey, as long as you enjoyed yourself in the moment, as the person before said!

And I'm exactly like you, very cynical when it comes to guys. I usually don't even bother going towards the players. Players don't usually change unless they really really really love someone, in which case sometimes you see a drastic change, but it's so rare that a guy changes.

I made the mistake of once going out with a guy who I know has cheated on his ex-girlfriend. Even though I have always thought "Once a cheater, always a cheater", every girl thinks it will be different for her. Which is not the case. Some people can't break their habits. He cheated on me, of course.

Always go with your gut! If you think someone is going to be a player, you're probably right!

Some people hate me for being so cynical, but most of the time what you're cynical about is completely true, and it saves yourself from going through a lot of bad stuff. I hope to be optimistic one day... heh. :)
Reply

Anonymous 3546
The Player on Feb 26, 2009 @ 08:18 pm

Sounds like he has some baggage he has not dealt with yet.
Sorry to hear it turned out badly.
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