on Nov 19, 2009 @ 11:57 pm|
Whenever I'm dating a guy, I want to introduce him to my family and bring him to family get togethers and such. But the problem is my father. He acts like I'm still his little baby girl, but I'm actually living on my own so its not like I'm too young. I'm afraid that if I bring my boyfriend around my dad, that he is going to be rude and end up ruining my relationship. I don't want to be embaressed by my father or have my boyfriend get embaressed. I understand my dad my be protective of me, but I am grown up and he still cannot admit that fact that I am with someone. Is there a way I could introduce them to each without conflict, "break the ice", make it not awkward, and maybe they could be friends? It just makes me unhappy that I'm don't feel comfortable bringing a part of my life around my family.
|I think.... on Nov 20, 2009 @ 09:09 am|
That in order to have it go more smooth for your boyfriend just make sure he is aware of your father's behaviour and intentions before walking in. Your bf would be more appreciative and understanding if he wasn't blindsided walking into a family gathering.
If your bf can handle himself and you can go through this and not let your father's actions upset you in front of your man your father will see how strong you guys are and will ease up (over time). And even though you are grown up I think it is sweet that your father still looks out for you. You are lucky to have family that love and care for you so much.
Just tough it out and if you bf can hack it then your father will see that and everything will be for the best. Good Luck!!
Ali de Bold
|Agree with misslissa on Nov 20, 2009 @ 09:42 am|
Prepping your boyfriend is key. Just explain to him your Dad is protective and it's coming from a good place.
I'd also suggest having an advance chat with your Dad too if that's possible. Tell him you met someone great and you'd like to introduce him to the family. Be light about it and just say something like ' go easy on this one, Dad'. Don't make it about the past embarrassment or your Dad may get defensive.
|Thanks. on Nov 20, 2009 @ 10:51 pm|
My dad isn't even protective though. He's just usually always drunk and beligerant.
|well... on Nov 21, 2009 @ 01:14 pm|
my advice is the same for that too. My mother is an alcoholic and almost a year into my relationship with my man I wanted to take him out to Vancouver to meet her. I love my mother and her behaviour embarrasses and hurts me and I was scared of what my bf would think of her, of me. So before we went out there I sat him down and told him all about her and how she is.
When he met her she was on her best behaviour because I also called her up and told her how much I love this man and want us to work out. She was still crude and rough around the edges but my bf was prepared and it ended up being really fun and a good experience. Now my mother and family love and adore him and things are so much easier on everyone because we kept the line of communication open and made sure we were all adults and let things go that may have been a little off-putting and made the most of who we were.
Thing are going to be great. Don't worry to much about it and just go into it with an open mind and heart and you bf will follow suit. Even if your family can't you and your man can be a great team and make it through anything. :)
|Honesty and open communication on Nov 24, 2009 @ 11:07 am|
I agree with misslissa and misschickie: honesty and open communication are key.
Talk to your dad beforehand, and explain to him how much it would mean to you to introduce your guy to him. He may surprise you and be flattered that you so badly want this introduction to happen.
Talk to your boyfriend too. Make sure he is prepared for any unusual circumstances.
To echo what misslissa said, you are all adults, so treat the situation that way.