Overcome physical shyness?

on Apr 16, 2010 @ 09:58 am

Hi Ladies,

The thing is, I'm very self conscious and VERY SHY about my body for various reasons (e.g. I feel I'm too fat & lumpy, I have dark and light areas which exfoliating doesn't seem to help (I even went for exfoliating spa treatments to novo spa and those didn't help) ) ...anyways so all this keeps me from getting totally naked with my man.  I always keep lingerie on and lights completely turned off.  This has been going on for over a month... he's my physical first sooo.... What can I do (is there anything I can do?) to overcome this?

any and all help will very much be appreciated..

4 Replies

not the only one! on Apr 16, 2010 @ 10:58 am

Girlfriend, so many of us have been there. Whether it was because of weight issues, bacne, the wrong bra size (either too large or too small), etc etc, it can take a lot for we women so long schooled by what is "beautiful" according to media/mainstream to overcome. I am one of them, and to a certain degree still am.

How to get past this? It's an easy answer with a difficult implementation: you have to own your beauty.

We've been told time and again that a woman's confidence can be more persuasive than a model-perfect figure to a guy's idea of beauty. We've all seen women who are a little too this or a little too that, but have so much personality and self awareness that their men are crazy about them.

You need to look at why you are so self conscious really - do you have a family background that taught you nakedness is shameful or in some way embarrassing? How was the relationship between your parents? These are questions you might need to talk to a counselor about.

Cosmetic issues are just that - cosmetic. You say you've done what you can for the discolouration, and I assume you've tried exercising to tone up a little. The most important thing is to be healthy - your skin will glow, your hair will shine, and you'll have plenty of energy even if the bathroom scale shows 10, 20, or however many more pounds than you'd prefer.

Then, give yourself a much needed shot of confidence, even if you're faking it at first. Accept others' compliments graciously instead of humbly denying. Compliment yourself too! Maybe it's your gorgeous eyes or amazing singing voice that you are pleased with - play that up and draw your confidence from what makes you beautiful, inside and out.

Ali de Bold
Anonymous is right on Apr 16, 2010 @ 02:40 pm

I couldn't say it better myself. PREACH, Girl!

Guys aren't nearly as critical of us as we are of ourselves.

Dancer knows best :) on Apr 17, 2010 @ 06:50 pm

I read an erotic dancers blog once a few years ago. She was answering questions that had been emailed to her. One was from a girl wanting to know if you had to be in perfect physical shape to be a dancer. The blog author said that men come to the clubs to enjoy women and have a good time. They are not sitting there critiquing them the whole time.

That article made me realize something.. your man is already your man. He already likes or loves you. When your naked hes not sitting there thinking about a wrinkle or one boob being bigger than the other or discoloration or whatever. Hes thinking about you being naked and feeling like hes about to win the lottery.

Everyones going to get old and grey and saggy and your man and you are going to have to face that fact. You want someone who thinks your sexy exactly the way you are. If hes not that guy then you find someone else. Dont worry about it and "own your beauty" as Anonymous said.

On a side note.. the dancer also recommended getting breast implants if you want to make more in tips :). Totally not relevant but i still laugh about that when i think about the article LOL.

thank you on Apr 22, 2010 @ 12:12 pm

So much for responding! I talked to a few other girls and according to them, this discoloration I'm so worried about is normal (maybe "discoloration" is a little too strong of a word).

Despite them saying it's normal, I'm looking into going to a dermatologist to just be sure.

I know this really is a confidence and self esteem issue more than anything else...something I really have to work on developing.

thanks again! :)

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