Please help,, How to move on !!!!??


thenight
on Dec 16, 2010 @ 12:59 am

Me and my boyfriend just broke up, we have been together for 3 years. And its kind on and off, we argue a lot, but that doesnt mean i dont love him, I loved him with all my heart, i gave 100% to him. But last month, we finally broke up, the real broke up, i was so sad and cried my heart out. One night, me and my friend went to starbucks, but on the way back home, we saw him were making out with a girl in the car!!!! That was only 1 week after we broke up, I was so shocked then i came out my car, knocked his car window, he came out the car, i asked him who is that girl, he said Just a friend of his. I said,,You were kissing her, !!! Meanwhile, the girl (who my ex is kissig) came out, i asked her, who are you? she said she is his GF!!! I was sooooo speechless!! then my ex called him a sweeite, i slapped him so hard!!!! I was out of control, I dont understand how can he move on so fast, just after a week we broke up, i felt he cheated on me, i felt he was seeing her when we still together, Next day, he called me, he said he is not blame me for slapping him and etc. I thought he will be sad just like me, because we were together for 3 years.. how can he move on that fast!!!! He said thats just the way he deals with break up.. i am sooooo speechless. Is that called a rebound relationship? I dont understand how man can move on that fast.. Now i am slowly moving on, i started go to gym, do yoga, and just keep myself as busy as i can!!! My question is How men can move on that fast?!!! just a week after we broke up, i cuaght him were making out with another girl~,,,,,,
 

14 Replies


cathy3087
Sorry to hear on Dec 16, 2010 @ 09:36 am

breakups are tough and people deal with them different ways. I've heard some people say the best thing to do is lay low and take time being solo. But I've also heard from others that they best way to get over someone is to find someone else. So unfortunately there's absolute answer to this one!

Guys are generally not as sensitive are women are so maybe he is just trying to move on because that's what works for him. Not all men will deal with a breakup this way.

It COMPLETELY sucks that you had to witness him with another girl but it seems you are on the right track by keeping yourself busy in other ways!

Stay strong :)
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thenight
Its sooo Damn hard!!! on Dec 16, 2010 @ 02:31 pm

Yes, breakup Sucks.. I am trying to stay as busy as i can, I want to take a break from relationship at least a year or as long as takes, just being single and being free. It hurts sooooooooo much!!! I barely can sleep sometimes during the night. but life goes on, so i have to be brave, because the relationship dead, so even i cry my heart out, he wont come back, even he comes back, i dont want him anymore, I dont love him anymore, what hurts me the most is that he is seeing another girls soooo fast, just 1 week after we break up, or maybe he is seeing her before we break up, IT HURTS!!!!!!
I felt the 3 years we have spent together means nothing to him, he MOVED ON SOOOO FAST!!!!! I dont understand how the hell on the earth a guy can move on that fast just in ONE WEEK?!!!! I DONT UNDERSTAND !!!

I know its not my buziness who is dating or whatever he is doing , its none of my business, but IT JUST HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO MUCH!!
SOOOO DAMN HARD!!

But i know time will heal......I will be fine ONE DAY FOR SURE!!!
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jchang212
Been There on Dec 16, 2010 @ 02:36 pm

Oh trust me, guys usually have the minset of "oh, that's over for good already, so why spend by time moping about it when I can just get on with my life?"

My ex started talking to me about girls he's interested in about a month or two after we broke up. Boy did that hurt!

You can do it!
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thenight
run into each other on Dec 16, 2010 @ 02:53 pm

I forget to say that We run into each other last weekend, he was with that girl, i didnt say anything. i just ingored him, BTW. he looked soo bad.. i suddenly reliezed that he is not the guy that i used to love anymore, he is not only changed his heart, but even his looks not great!!! That makes me feeling better i dont know why....

I emailed him this Monday, and i told him i dont want to stay friends with him( he told me he wants to stay friends), also i said i dont want to hear from him anymore, and i dont want to talk to him and do anything with him anymore, I am going to disappear from his life for good, he choosed to move on with another relationship, then thats end of the story. he said ok. He told me dont email him anymore, i said i wont, I will never contact you or see you or talk to you anymore, then he said he wishes the best for me, and he doesnt hate me and i am a nice girl etc etc..

BTW.. the girl who he is dating is sooo similar with me, i am not saying that by makes me feeling better, but thats is sooo true,, EVEN my friends said that after we saw her that night. maybe my ex just likes that kind of look.. i dont know... its not my business anymore!!

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cathy3087
Good for you! on Dec 16, 2010 @ 03:01 pm

Sounds like you did the right thing!

:)
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thenight
thank you on Dec 16, 2010 @ 03:08 pm

Thank you .... I did that just coz i want to remind myself he is gone, and forever gone...
Even through i said i dont want to be friends or talk or anything, That doenst mean i am not hurting..............HURTS SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!:((((((
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Bren
Ouch on Dec 16, 2010 @ 03:51 pm

That would have been very painful to see your ex with a new girl.You are doing everyting right moving on and keeping busy.It is best for you two not to stay in contact as that would be to painful for you.Even if it hurts like crazy and will for a little while just pat yourself on the back for handling this situation perfectly!
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thenight
Tear came out~!!! on Dec 16, 2010 @ 04:02 pm

Bren581,,,,,,,My tear just came out when i read your post!!!! I cant help myself....
I didnt do it very well,,,,, I contacted him once last week, i wrote him a email, i am sooo regret right now... I should just disapper from him for good... I just dont know why i have these up and down feelings.. One day i feeling better and the next day i feel awful...I miss him sometimes, and sometimes i feeling ok.... I dont know whats wrong...
But thank you !!!!!!!!! I cried when i saw"Even if it hurts like crazy and will for a little while just pat yourself on the back for handling this situation perfectly!"!!!

:((((((((((((
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thenight
PS on Dec 16, 2010 @ 04:04 pm

PS: EVEN i want to stay freinds with him, BUT I JUST CANT DO IT!!

How can i become freinds with him that he is dating another gril just after 1 week we break up!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO stay friends with him,,
NO WAY!!!
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Bren
Sorry on Dec 16, 2010 @ 07:01 pm

awwww Im so sorry thenight I didnt want you to cry :(
Sooo many woman have been in relationships that hurt like crazy and we have tried to hang on because we so desperatley want it to work out.Believe me I know Ive been there!I look back at situations like that so many many years later and think oh wow I was in such a bad head space then and I dont forget what that pain felt like but I moved on hard as it was.Of course its hard you were together for 3 years thats a long time for a break up to happen and hes with another woman within a week!Thats not fair and not the kind of man you want in your life.

If you got back together you would be wondering all the time if hes being unfaithful youve even questioned if he was unfaithful during your relationship.If this relationship hes in now doesnt work out for him be prepared there might be a chance he comes running back to you and you have to be prepared and really strong.If you continuue to talk to him its only going to bring you more pain.

You need to keep busy keep your mind clear.Go to the gym keep up with the yoga find some peace.When you are healed and least expecting it you will be open for the chance of a new relationship but dont rush into anything.Take care of yourself!
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