Rebound relationship: good idea or not?


MyFlirtz
on Feb 29, 2012 @ 06:45 am

I recently split up with my man and have been on several dates and have spent time at weekends with a new guy. I like him a lot and would be nice to take things further but some of my friends are saying I only like him because he's nicer than my ex, which is not a good enough reason to get serious. Plus they say it's too early to jump into another relationship.
The new guy is really into me, very sweet and we're very compatible in certain ways (wink wink). But I just don't know what to do for the best :S
Any suggestions?

 


4 Replies


Becky
go for it on Feb 29, 2012 @ 12:43 pm

The only reason you like him is 'cuz he's nicer than your ex? That's a pretty damn good reason to like someone! I say go for it! Especially if you're *compatible* in *certain ways* lol :-)

I always say, the best way to get over "the one" is to go out with "the other one"! We mope and wallow in self pity missing what was (more like missing what we wished it was) 'cuz we don't realize what could be! We don't see how big the world is, how many people are in it and how much better and happier we are without the person who broke our hearts. We realize all of this when we actually go out into the big wide world and meet new people. We realize that the world, the people in it, and their behaviour isn't limited to our ex. We see people who don't treat us as he did, where life isn't as complicated and insecure as it was, and the realization - think homer simpson epiphany - that life CAN be happier.

Life is SO short! I'm not just saying that, the day we're on our last breath, I'm sure this will occur to us, how damn short the ride was. Why wallow & waste what time we have on something hurtful instead of finding every bit of happiness and joy we can squeeze out of life?
I don't agree with using someone who you don't have any feelings for as a pseudo-boyfriend to ease you into not having a boyfriend. But if you like him, he likes you, you have chemistry and you would go out with him if you were single without baggage - then go for it!



Good luck finding your own happiness!! :-)
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AlexJC
Rebounds on Feb 29, 2012 @ 01:31 pm

I think rebound dating is perfectly ok as long as both parties involved know that this should not be taken seriously. That's not to say that what starts out as a rebound doesn't ever turn into something else, but it usually doesn't.

As far as this guy goes, you seem to really like him and @becky is right, dating someone because they are nicer than your ex is an extremely good reason! But, you should be sure to decide what you want and to know what he wants. If he is looking for something serious and there's part of you that's really not into that at the moment, then be honest, you don't want to hurt him. Otherwise, you're getting off of a bad relationship- treat yourself to a good one! Have fun!
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Empress_AliFu
Hmmm... on Feb 29, 2012 @ 02:50 pm

I would say a rebound is not fair to the person you're doing the rebound with - it leaves potential for him/her to be hurt.

If you are upfront about it and very transparent about the issue, and he is okay with it then go for it. Lay it out there that you just got out of a relationship and you need time... but fun in other ways can be had if you're both down...if you know what I mean ;)

I strongly believe, though, that everyone needs to learn to be alone...be strong for yourself instead of jumping from person to person just for the sake of being w/ someone
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MyFlirtz
Thanks on Mar 07, 2012 @ 03:16 am


Thanks for all your replies, very helpful indeed. I'm just taking each day as it comes, rather than focusing so much on the outcome.

I'll keep your advice in mind though :)
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