Relationships


Anonymous
on Oct 30, 2012 @ 01:57 pm


Hey. Having a little trouble with relationships. I have never had a serious relationship. I'm 18 and just after starting in university. I go out once a week but when i go out I don't think guys even look at me. All the girls at uni seem to have so much confidence that I don't. I'm kinda shy and I don't drink which doesn't help.
 


3 Replies


AlexJC
Relationships on Oct 30, 2012 @ 03:57 pm

First of all, you're still very young, there's no need to stress about this! Now, I have to do the obligatory disclaimer that, while being very cheesy, still always holds true: give yourself time, be yourself, be open to others and friendly and eventually love will come your way.

As far as finding a relationship, have you ever considered that where you are looking is part of the problem? If you don't feel comfortable in clubs, chances are, you aren't going to shine through and be yourself. Also, are the types of people you'll meet in a club or bar while drinking the types you want to be meeting? Join clubs, go to places you like and you'll meet people with whom you have things in common. Look for a place where you feel comfortable and where you fit in, chances are the people who you find are the ones you'll like most and vice versa!

As far as confidence goes, the one thing I can say for certain is that though others may look like they have it all figured out, they probably don't. Don't compare yourself or your life to theirs. Secondly, I can say that confidence builds and you need be comfortable in your own skin. This takes time. Sometimes you need to fake it til you make it!
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Malixy
relationships on Oct 31, 2012 @ 06:21 pm

you know what? in my experience you always meet someone great when you're not looking. So just dont worry about it. You're 18, you have all the time in the world to meet someone amazing. I, for example, only got in a serious relationship when I was 19. And a friend of mine only now that she is 22. It's different for different people. Maybe you're not in a relationship because you're not ready to be in one. It takes some amount of bravery to let someone completely into your life, let them see the good, the bad and the ugly. Work on yourself for now that you have time. Alex is right, dont expect to meet guys in clubs or bars just because your friends do. If its not your scene dont force it. And dont think you have to drink to make yourself attractive to men. Guys like girls who drink because they're easier to screw after the 5th shooter then when their brain still works. The thing about guys in clubs is they look for easy targets, whoever looks like the easier chick in the group, thats who they're interested in. I dont think I know ANY guys who go to a club to find someone for a "relationship".

If you are really, really interested in finding a relationship, maybe join a dating website and see if you can meet some interesting people there. Even if you dont find a soulmate, you could find some people to chat with and maybe boost your confidence too.

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Ali de Bold
18 isn't old on Nov 02, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

I'm sure you've heard this many times but enjoy being your age. The late teens/twenties are such fun. So are the 30s actually ;).

Don't feel like you need to rush into dating someone or feel bad about your confidence level. Believe it or not, most of us were very self-conscious at that age. I don't remember feeling truly confident in myself until I hit 30. I'm not sure why, but a lot of my friends have said the same thing. I think it's this sense of needing to prove yourself. That you are datable, worthy of a good job, etc.

Just be confident in the fact that most people your age probably feel the same way you do. Focus on things you enjoy doing and spend time with good people who build you up. The dating will come when you least expect it!
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