Sex Life is Blah

on Dec 03, 2015 @ 03:15 pm

What do you do if your relationship (for the most part) is great, but your partner cannot stay "on board" for longer than 5 minutes? We have been together for 6 years and I have only achieved an orgasm less than 5 times. Unfortunately he is also NOT gifted in the package department. This is disheartening because I find myself judging my partner and thinking about other men, sexually. 

My partner has seen a doctor about potential impotency and they perscribed anxiety medication- which made no impact in the bedroom. As shallow as it sounds, would this be something women would leave their partners for? I believe sexual chemistry is important and related to connection on all fronts. I am barely stimulated by my partner and I have no idea what to do. 

4 Replies

... on Dec 03, 2015 @ 04:33 pm

Maybe try couples counseling. Try to spice things up together - get sexy lingerie, watch porn together, have a bath/shower together, make time to do things together like dates, go to the sex store together and get some toys(some more for you so you can orgasm). You can try other things in bed besides, touching, oral. Sexual chemistry is super important, but maybe you'd find yourselves more attracted to each other and that you'd have a more fulfilling sex life if you tried other things and got pleasure out of them?

Relationship on Dec 03, 2015 @ 11:32 pm

If the rest of the relationship is also not great, I'd suggest leaving. But the fact that your partner doesn't try to give you an orgasm is more worrying for me. Size of the package and potential impotency have less to do with sex than you think. I suffer from a painful sex condition and my husband and I replace penetrative sex with other things at times when it's bad.

You and your partner should try clitoral stimulation and if you miss the penetration, toys can be used for this too! There's no reason sex needs to tear you apart if the rest of your relationship is happy. But as women, we need to acknowledge that sadly sometimes men don't always know what to do and we need to be aware of our own sexuality and pleasure to pass the knowledge onto our partner.

If his attitude is poor and he refuses to try, this is a much bigger problem! Feel free to ask if you have anymore questions. I know this can be embarrassing >_<;

Just have Fun on Dec 04, 2015 @ 10:53 am

Have you tried just being intimate without penetration? Like playing with toys, clothing, or basic making out? Verbal Communication about what you need and what you would like should be out there.

Even texting throughout the day what you'd like to do to him, or him to you, can perk things up and make the anticipation of the night to come really sensual.

Seriously, it does help spice things up, and should be arousing for both partners.

I do agree with wonderwhatif, that if the rest of the relationship is lacking, it also tends to lack in the bedroom.

Obviously there are ups and downs (ha ha) with respect to the bedroom (or other rooms) play as life's stresses occur, but in general, I feel it's important to stay connected on multiple levels.

A quickie is nice, but slow play is really awesome too! And hey, when you're both really exhausted, lazy sex will do some days ;).


. on Dec 11, 2015 @ 09:15 am

I think sex is extremely important in a relationship. Yes it's not the only thing that matter but you want to have a good time and a connection with your partner. I've been where you are and if I am being extremely honest I Have never in my life had an orgasm during intercourse...ok I just said that on a forum but hell it's true. I always say if I do I will never let that guy go but it just doesn't happen for all women. I say try to make it fun by role playing or trying to do it in places you wouldn't normally do it in. Hope things get better for you

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