sex questions

on May 25, 2010 @ 10:27 am

My fiance and have been sleeping together for a few years, but we are both each other's firsts, how do we know that its as good as it is.. he seems entirely happy.. im scared he'll go looking else where for someone different, he hasn't done it. don't think he will.. but a man's a man? anyone have any advise on how to keep things going? or how to make sure that we r both getting what we deserve it? weird ayy?

2 Replies

Rule #1: the grass is not greener on May 25, 2010 @ 11:50 am

I can definitely sympathize! My hubby was my first, too. We both had that fear, especially as you go through a long-term relationship experiencing peaks and valleys, changing sexual appetites, etc.

I'm sure there are great lovers out there who'd be a fabulous roll in the hay. However, what you have is incredibly special! Knowing that you've "grown up" together, knowing that you are untouched but for each other, and knowing that you are making love - not bumping uglies - is a really rare gift.

Sure it's normal to wonder - haven't we all? I'll bet even those with plenty of previous partners wonder about the next cutie that crosses their path, what it would be like with them.

How do you keep things going? Be adventuresome with each other, try new things! If a particular technique or game doesn't work out, you both won't have some hot memory to compare it to - it'll be perhaps something you can both laugh about!

The fact is, no matter how much sexual experience you have, relationships change with time. After 20 years together, it will be the long-term love, respect and companionship that defines you as a couple, with sweaty nights being a celebration of your love, not the key to holding it all together.

As far as a man being a man, women can have roving eyes too. SATC's Samantha is proof enough of that! If you find yourselves having difficulties, consider talking to a counselor. Your precious relationship is worth the effort, isn't it? Great sex isn't a novelty item - it's the product of complete trust and a deep connection to your partner.

Don't worry! on May 26, 2010 @ 11:29 am

First of all, congrats on being (and staying) with your firsts! That's a really great thing, and not many people can say that :)

Second of all, if you are enjoying your sex life, then it IS good sex! Don't wish for something else if what you already have is great.

Though that is a problem that can sometimes come up (looking for someone else because you've only been with one person), if you two have a loving, commited, trusting, and faithful relationship, there is no chance of that coming up. And if you're worried about it, talk to him about it! He may be having the same worries as you :) It would help ease both of your minds to have a conversation about it, to clear the air.

From what you have told us, I, personally, think you two have a great thing going for you :) Keep the love strong and you two can be perfect lovers for the rest of your lives!


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