Shacking up.


MissLissa
on Mar 14, 2009 @ 10:32 am

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and after months of him asking me to get a place with him I decided that on our one year mark we can get a place together. Well, my stuff is slowing being packed and we've been shopping for the house for about a month and things are going great.

However, I am scared. I am totally frightened that we're going to grow to resent each other. What if he can't stand my neurotic house cleaning? What if I can't stand his videogame playing?

So my ultimate questions is: What should I do to keep our relationship alive and exciting when living with my boyfriend? What should I do to have our differences make us bond stronger as opposed to making us drive each other crazy?
 


2 Replies


Becky
I think ... on Mar 14, 2009 @ 10:16 pm

that living together is a great way to really get to know someone. I personally would never live with a guy, but that doesn't mean i don't think its a fantastic idea. You get to test drive a "married" life with him and see how he really is .... :-) Its hard to know someone from the outside, but when you live with the person and all the responsibilities and 'togetherness' that comes with living together, thats when you really know the person...

as far as keeping your relationship interresting... I strongly suggest keep your individuality. Just 'cuz you live together doesn't mean you have to do everything together! Go out with your friends, keep time aside for yourself and do all the things you would do if you were living alone, and likewise for him.

Its hard to ask "how was your day" when his entire day from dawn to dusk was spent with you.... live your own lives and come together and share what you've lived. Also, when you're always in eachothers faces, its very easy to forget the good in eachother and focusing on the bad.. you know the saying "absense makes the heart grow fonder" ...
Do special things for him the way you would do if you were living at your own place. Surprise him with things he likes, be spontaneous, don't take eachother for granted.

Sorry I'm not sure if i'm making much sense here! Anyways this is an adventure, another stage in your relationship :) Have fun with it and good luck!! :)

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MissLissa
Starting early... on Mar 18, 2009 @ 09:05 am

Thank you so much Becky for your advice! I have already started taking it. I am making more friend dates now. I hadn't realized how many people I have left out of my new life. It's shocking really.
I've also been getting involved in new hobbies such as going to the gym, book clubs and more client lunch/breakfast meetings. We don't see as much of each other and it makes us realize how much there is to talk about regarding our lives away from each other.
I've also gone through my old clothes and got rid of all my worn and out of date items (including my old man sweats where the crotch hangs to my knees). I have started an early spring cleaning and am slowly buying more grown up and sexy clothes. All of my sleepwear is new and sexy. Something to spice things up at night.
I just hope these little things will work for the most part.

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