Should I start dating again?


Sam2
on Jan 05, 2009 @ 07:08 pm

I want to know what you ladies think...

I've had my heart blown to pieces after 2 failed serious relationships and the last one ended Oct 5th 2008.

I have this huge mistrust towards women for relationships, and I'm very likely to do the whole "Title" thing ever again...

Then again, I'd really be nice to have someone to say "hey" with... Do I feel comfortable with an open relationship?... No... do I want an exclusive none committed reationship? maybe...

Don't know... what do ya'll think?
 

32 Replies


Patricia
Yes!... start dating. on Jan 05, 2009 @ 07:28 pm

Don't judge us all by the actions of two!
I've had my heart broken a couple of times too. But some of the good times, memories and lessons I took away from those very relationships are more valuable than anything! We may have been hurt, but as long as we learn from it, that's what is important. Don't close yourself off from seeing other people.
Maybe don't look for something too serious right now. Make friends, have fun and hang out with new people. Any serious relationships I have had were with guys I met randomly, when I wasn't "on the prowl".
Hope this helps.
:P
Reply

silvercity
Hi Sam on Jan 05, 2009 @ 08:04 pm

We've all had our heart blown to pieces....me 3 times (and one of them
is the situation I discussed earlier...we were in an open relationship
for 3 yrs lol)...the other two "closed" relationships lasted a few yrs
each. Do I regret my decisions? Hell NO!! I think one important thing
here is why do you have this "mistrust" towards women. I don't have any
mistrust towards men...I mean yeah sometimes I hate them and all but
that passes. Btw what do you mean by "title"? And open relationships
are hard...I don't think I'll ever do one again....someone always ends
up being the "loser". If you are not looking for something exclusive
then have "fun"...just play safe...and be honest with yourself. Is
there someone you are interested in today?? If not then eventually that
person will come along....



Is it just me or do I find that men have an easier time with open
relationships then women? How can most guys not get emotionally
involved??
Reply

Sam2
:-) on Jan 05, 2009 @ 08:24 pm

Patricia:
Didn't mean to generalize all women, but due to the circumstances on why I had to break up with my past mates puts me in a situation where trusting a woman that has me as the #1 pick for marriage, and a day later has doubts about the marriage subject, if you catch my drift. I'm not closing myself to be honest with you, but I'm a whole lot more reserved.

Boneca:
What I mean by title is "GIRLFRIEND" status. The official introduction to parents, and stuff like that... In terms of "fun" I'm not looking for that really... Just someone to hang out with that likes to watch a DVD, hit the gym, and get a drink.

I find the idea of an "OPEN" relationship to be out of my character. I get to emotionally attached because I love the idea of love, but do I believe in true love anymore? Not really... I just have a really bitter taste in my mouth right now, but doesn't mean that I don't want a person to sort of be with... LOL... Wow, I sound really gay right now...

Anyway, I've heard that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. I personally take a long time to get back on the market, but this time I think I'd be interested in just hopping back up, and doing what everyone else is doing.

Who knows...
Reply

silvercity
hopping back up..... on Jan 05, 2009 @ 08:35 pm

Hopping back up sounds like a plan to me too...it's something I've been thinking about lately...but for me the "getting under someone" days are over. I plan on hopping back out by working out, getting healthier and doing more social activities. Maybe then I'll meet someone who will appreciate me 100% .....your previous advice really made me think hard. :)

Cheers to 2009 being a good year for everyone...
Reply

Sam2
:-) on Jan 05, 2009 @ 08:47 pm

Getting healthier sounds good... I need to stop this stress smoking... Not very sexy if you ask me...

I'm glad I gave you something to think about...

I think I'm going to hold from dating for a little while longer... What sucks is coming home to an empty house...

I'll wait to see who else has some suggestions...
Reply

artist
I know how you feel on Jan 05, 2009 @ 09:28 pm

I know exactly what you're going through, having gone through a very similiar situation myself. And there are plenty of people who have had these experiences themselves. It's comforting to know that you're not alone. It sucks to be in this situation. Trust me, I know... it hurts.

What I have learned through all this is everyone deals break ups differently. Some will start dating right away to get their minds off their exe(s), some will mourn the loss of a loved one. It could take weeks, months or even years for some to feel "ready" again!

All I can say to you is more often than not the answers really lie within yourself -- re. whether or not you are ready to start seeing someone new. You can try going on a few casual dates and then seeing how you feel. You will know quickly whether or not you are ready yet. If it feels right, then stick with it. And if not... there's nothing wrong with that either. Take this time to learn more about yourself and discover new things you never were able to when you were in serious relationships.

Good luck and all the best.

Reply

Sam2
Glad to hear on Jan 05, 2009 @ 09:54 pm

Nice to hear that there is another one like me out there too...

I met a girl that claimed to be in my same situation a few months back and it turned out that she was liying to me the whole time... Yea... It wasn't pretty when I found out...

For me it'll take a long time to get over the previous relationship, so I don't know what to do... I'm really leaning towards forgetting the idea of dating and continue my working, gym, sleep, work gym sleep routine...
Reply

silvercity
sorry... on Jan 05, 2009 @ 10:00 pm

it's more like...work, gym, watch dexter, entourage, californication and a few other shows I'm addicted to and then sleep.....aahhhh what would life be like without tv (and the internet) lol
Reply

Sam2
lol on Jan 05, 2009 @ 10:12 pm

lol... so basically you watch all the shows with hot guys... LOL... did you forget to mention Grey's Anatomy ?

I'm more of a Family guy, Simpsons, American Dad, House, How I met your mother, and Two and a Half men kind of guy. :-)
Reply

Ali de Bold
Friends first on Jan 05, 2009 @ 11:50 pm

Personally I think most dating sucks. I highly recommend being friends with someone first. That way you really get to know them as a person and don't fall for the 'best behavior' act -- and they get to know who you really are as well.
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