starting to date and not enough attention


Evangeline
on Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:22 pm

I recently started dating this guy and well he doesnt text and call as much as he did before we were anything or did anything sexual, my question is am I just a piece of ass? is he talking to other girls ? or is he trying not to be needy?
 


6 Replies


Anonymous
red flag on Feb 17, 2011 @ 09:47 pm

Honey, if he was really wanting your love, he'd be calling and texting a-plenty. This to me is a red flag.

Are you saying then that he pursued until he got some action, and then he backed off? If so, then you need to get out and move on before you have some serious feelings develop.

However, is it also possible that you only feel like he's not giving enough attention? Maybe if you described how often he checks in - is it every day? A few times per week? Or less?

Depending on how long you've actually been together, it wouldn't be surprising for the calls and texts to simmer to a more reasonable pace. If it started at hourly contact and toned down to 1-2 times per day, that would not necessarily be a problem. However, if the relationship is as new as you are saying, then this honeymoon phase of a fresh relationship shouldn't be over quite yet.

All in all, this feels off to me. Good luck, and be strong! You know what you deserve, and that's a guy who is into you 150%.
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LaurenBlair
It depends... on Feb 18, 2011 @ 12:53 pm

@anonymous - I couldn't agree more with you...

It's hard to say... could you give a little more detail about time lines? And like the person above me has said, it could just be that you guys are settling into more of a ruitine and you don't need to be in constant contact with each other.

However, if he all of asudden just stopped stopped talking to you then I'd say that's more than a red flag....

I hope you can figure this out soon :)
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Ali de Bold
Trust your gut on Feb 18, 2011 @ 01:54 pm

You should never give it up early in a relationship no matter how right it may feel at the time. Any guy worth it will be willing to wait if he really cares for you. If he isn't wiling, you know he's just looking for action. I'm sorry this has happened to you. You should pull back. Don't pursue him.
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Becky
... on Feb 18, 2011 @ 02:42 pm

All my relationship response posts should come with a disclaimer: I'm a terrible cynic. I assume guilt until he proves his innocence, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

I agree with Ali; don't pursue him. If he is cutting contact after getting some, then run, don't walk, before you invest more of your time and heart into this relationship. I strongly feel that although all relationships need "work", the good relationships differ from the bad in the type of "work" it needs.

Good relationship: We need to work on you leaving the toilet seat UP when i TELL YOU to put it back down (and no surprises please!). Umm..actually this might fall into the 'bad relationship' category for me.....

Bad relationship: We need to work on you blowing hot and cold, and leaving me feeling like somehow all of it is my fault. Every abusive thing that leaves your mouth is for my own good, because I deserve it, because I need to be taught a lesson.
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Becky
ps. on Feb 18, 2011 @ 03:04 pm

I forgot to finish my thought ... All relationships require work, but when it requires too much work (aka bad relationships) you should be seeing warning signals. The work, emotion and time invested is not worth the ultimate outcome.

best of luck!
xoxo
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dolce_bellissima
Im with Becky and Ali on Feb 18, 2011 @ 03:34 pm

There's plenty of good fish in the sea. Don't waste your time, you'll regret having spent that valuable time of yours on someone who may not be worth it.
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