Stay with him and hope it gets better or....

on Jan 25, 2009 @ 06:47 pm

hi, I was with my ex bf for 2 years, he was the first guy i fell in love with but we broke up a couple times mostly cuz i was scared, he was so emotional and i was the only thing in the world to him. We had talked about marriage and everything but I ended up breaking up with him last may and he moved away. I started dating a guy shortly after and it had been great up until recently, i fell in love with him and were supposed to be moving in together in a couple weeks. I am starting to get cold feet about the move, we partied alot for the first 6 months or so of our relationship but i am trying to be smarter and get my life on track, i have diabetes and i need to get healthier and im trying to figure out college and finances and all that. Hes already gone threw choosing a career and stuff im only figuring out now because hes 7 years older than i am. Anyways things havent been going the best lately, we have no sex life anymore unless hes drunk and i dont want to drink anymore, and ive been in touch with my ex and hes still head over heels for me and hes always wanted me back, he was always a great guy just too intense for me at the time, but now that im with my current bf and hes the total oposite i miss him. I dont know what to do anymore, if we broke up id go and move home to get my health and finances back on track. Everytime i stry and talk about serious things with my bf he has no opinion and just brushes off the conversation then i dont feel like bringing it up to him. Theres no depth to our relationship nothing like what I had with my ex. Plz I need some advice!!

2 Replies

Ali de Bold
Make a plan on Jan 25, 2009 @ 07:30 pm

It sounds like you need to take a step back, focus on your health and figure out what you want from life. It sounds like in both relationships you sort of went with the flow until you got cold feet.

In your shoes I would take a time out, sort out your health and decide what you want from your life. Make a 5 year plan. Where do you see yourself? What sort of career do you want? What sort of person do you want to be with? What is your individual purpose? Take the guy completely out of it and answer those questions honestly. Whomever you end up with should fit in your life, not you changing who you are or what you want to accommodate the relationship. This won't be something you can figure out over night. You should probably take a break to sort this out and ask them both for privacy.

Life is short and you can either let it sweep you along or choose the direction you want it to go.

Good luck!

i think your right but i still love him, just not the same on Jan 25, 2009 @ 07:45 pm

I think I do need to take a step back, but im also scared that it would be a mistake, my current bf has been nothing but good to me, its only a few things that bother me. My ex always followed me and supported me in whatever i wanted to do, he moved provinces when i first decided to go to college to be with me, then i broke up with him and he had to start all over somewheres new because he couldnt stand seeing me with someone else. He made so many sacrifices to be with me, and even thoug i broke his heart he still wants me, he says he cant bring himself to be with anyone else, he still thinks im the one and only even after 9 months of not beeing together. Hes not forcing me to say yes right away, he just wants to see me happy, in which im not right now. Ive decided what i want to do career wise and im not sure if my current location is the best place to be, but if i move id have to break up with my bf because his life is here. I think beeing single for a while might be a good idea, ive never been single for long, i seem to jump from one relationship to another quickly, but i want to hold out this time because with a bit of time to get my life back on track would be good, and having the emotional turmoils of relationships is not going to let me do so.

Thank you

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