The "one"


lovelyred26
on Aug 05, 2013 @ 10:00 am

My boyfriend of one year and I broke up yesterday. I thought he was the one; he was sweet, loving, understanding, considerate, trustworthy, etc., etc... basically all of the things that I've been trying for years to find in a man. He decided to end things because he wasn't ready for a real commitment - he still has things he wants to do in his life that he feels he can't do in a relationship.

As much as it hurts, I can't be mad at him. As always, he was totally honest with me and I know it hurt him as much as it hurts me to do it. 

With that said, my usual remedies for getting over a break up don't really apply - I can't think about the things I didn't like about him because they are few and tiny, I can't imagine finding another man as "good" as he is - trust me, I've tried before. 

What do I tell myself to help deal with this when the only problem with us was timing? I've never been in this situation and I don't know how to cope with it... I miss him more than I can explain and it's only been a day.

Help?!
 


3 Replies


Onimiki
Everything happens for a reason on Aug 05, 2013 @ 03:44 pm

I am sorry that you are going through this pain but it is totally normal to grieve this loss. Take some time to grieve, listen to all the best sad songs you can find and sing them out loud or write your feelings in a journal. Surround your self with supportive friends and family. Take this opportunity to think about things that you might want to do yourself that you never had time to do when you were in a relationship. For example have you always wanted to learn to draw, run a marathon, knit, learn to play an instrument? Now is a great time... take a class. Are there any books you have wanted to read but never had the time? now is perfect! Are there any friends that you kinda lost touch with? Now is a good time to reconnect... Keep yourself busy and it will get easier in time... and everything happens for a reason.
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gl0ss
?? on Aug 08, 2013 @ 07:34 pm

For me personally, it would irk me if someone I was with told me that they had things to do in their life that they cannot accomplish while they are in a relationship. Oh really??? Like what??

He is obviously not in a place where he can make a commitment, but the one good thing is that he let you know about it and you should be thankful for that. You could have wasted a lot more time to find that out, I know lots of women who have.

I don't believe the only problem is timing, there has to be something more or maybe even someone else (??) The best way to assess a relationship is when you are looking from the outside, it has only been a day, so give it some time and maybe you will have some moments of clarity to help you understand what went wrong.

I am sure you will find someone even better when the time comes. Everything happens for a reason
Reply

ldbellzz
not the one on Aug 11, 2013 @ 07:45 pm

He wasn't for you. Maybe he came into your life to show you that there are some awesome guys in the
world, All of life's experiences are ways of teaching us something. This could have taught you what
you wanted and not to accept any thing less, to steer clear of the douchebags...lol

This sounds harsh but I have been there before so I can relate and hope you take my
advice,
You are number 1! Tell yourself that everyday in the mirror. You need to believe in yourself and
trust that there is a plan for you. He will come into your life and sweep you off your feet.
Be patient and let go of what was not meant to be, and live for what is meant to be.
Hugs for you girl.
xo
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