"the one" left?

on Oct 17, 2012 @ 08:23 pm

I need some serious advice please if you can help me... I was dating Jacob for a year and a half we literally had the happiest relationship. There was just this connection that's so hard to describe but I know he's the one. It was just magic and... I wish I could explain the connection. Jake broke up with me last weekend. Out of the blue. We were so happy like omg. We were on our way to Halloween horror nights and everything was fine. Then comes Halloween horror nights and he says that he needs time to be alone and think because he has never loved someone for as long as he has me and he cares for me so much. He promised he would come back. He kissed me and called me babe and held me tight. Then we slept in the same bed. Then in the morning we drove back here and he kissed me and promised once again he'd come back and told me he loved me very much... Monday comes around and he said he loves me. Then that night he broke up with me because he doesn't want a relationship. I drive over there and he saysthat he loves me and he doesn't want to tell me he'd come back because it's all I'll think about. I gave him the promise  ring back and he said he'd keep it because I was such an important person and he wants to remember me always. He kept all the things I gave back too. Tuesday comes. He says we are done forever and he doesn't love me anymore...... And this just isn't what he wants

9 Replies

Ali de Bold
I'm so sorry! on Oct 17, 2012 @ 10:08 pm

That is so heartbreaking! I know many of us have been there and I'm sure others will come on here and say that.

The best thing you can do right now is not contact him. Let him be alone and see what life is like without you. He will probably miss you a lot and it wouldn't surprise me if he regrets ending the relationship if it was as good as you say it was.

In the mean time focus on your friendships and family and other people in your life that make you happy. It's ok to cry and be upset, but don't allow yourself to obsess over him and what could have been. The more you pursue him, the more it will push him away.

Consider that relationships are never as perfect as we imagine they are after a breakup. For some reason, when a relationship ends we tend to romanticize it and forget all of the arguments or bad times.

Take some time for yourself and work on getting past this. Either you will find someone else that you love even more one day or he will quickly realize he's made a mistake, that he misses you and will want to get back together. You will need to decide at that point if you feel the same.

Good luck and hugs to you!

must be someone else. on Oct 18, 2012 @ 01:16 am

Something similar happened with me.

I think there must be someone else one his side thats making him not want to be tied down in a relationship, even though it might be a relatively happy one.

People dont fall out of love in one day. Its not possible. You dont just wake up one morning and feel nothing for someone you couldnt live without yesterday.

I am betting he met someone recently, and thats the reason he's been distancing himself and saying he needs time and space and doesnt want to be in a relationship.

And good ridance to him, if hes in a good relationship and hes still looking around, you're better off letting him go.

Get some distance, and try not to focus on this situation too much. I know it will be hard.

I read an article somewhere that says the symptoms of a broken heart are the same as the symptoms of a person being physically sick. So think of it this way. You just have to get through it, and you will feel okay again, and eventually good again. You just have to get through it.

You'll be ok! on Oct 19, 2012 @ 02:22 pm

That is genuinely a crappy situation, I am sorry you are going through it!

I think one of the important things to realise though, is that if he did leave and leave in the way that he did, then he is probably not "the one". The one can't be someone who treats you so badly.

It's going to be difficult because I feel like he didn't give you a real reason but I think what you need to know is that most likely it isn't anything YOU did, it's on him. Something is clearly going on with him. It's his issue though, not yours.

I like what @malixy pointed out- being broken hearted is like being sick. It's something you need to get over and get through, but the good news is, you will get over and get through it.

Everyone's process of getting over a break up is different but I find that I need to accept being sad and upset before I get any better. I spend like a week feeling like really bad and then I pick myself up and try and make myself feel better. Take care of yourself and spend doing things for you and spending time with loved ones.

hang in there on Oct 22, 2012 @ 06:10 pm

I'm so sorry girl, reading through your post I have to agree with the ladies above that said that this reeks of a double cross. It sounds like he found someone else. You don't just fall in and out of love with someone. You don't just drop out of a relationship overnight. As far as him keeping the promise ring to remember you by... what!? He needs back the ring he gave you so he can remember you? He's keeping the promise ring he gave you... basically he gave you a ring and took it back is what you're saying (he took it, you accepted it, same ol' same ol'. Basically he has the ring he gave you). Maybe he wants to reuse it, pawn it, sell it...?

It sounds like you were totally sincere on your end, but he was looking. He found someone else and is moving on with the least amount of drama he can manage.

Same thing happened to one of my girlfriends. Boy she did what not for this guy. She would cook for him everyday, let him sleepover at her place, let his friends chill at her place even while she wasn't there... I mean the warning signals were there for the rest of us to see, but not her. She thought she had the perfect relationship. Until she caught him cheating on her, he then ditched her and went off with the other girl. Jerk. But there you go.

You will get through this .. we've all been there. You'll be stronger for it. You'll learn to recognize warning signals and look out for yourself better. Basically, you'll get through this. Xoxo

You deserve better. on Oct 26, 2012 @ 11:49 pm

You will find better.

Sometimes individuals in the same relationship have different experiences within that relationship.

He may have had a different experience than you.

Share your love with someone who deserves it.


Heart breaking! on Dec 06, 2012 @ 08:39 am

This is so heart breaking. I hope you're staying strong!

Honestly, I know this is easier to say - than do - but you need to just move on. Obviously he doesn't value the relationship as much as you do, which usually means you'll have your heart broken again. He probably got scared, and overwhelmed - and isn't ready for something as serious as what you had together.. Plus, he's probably really confused about it all.

I'd just give him some space, and go on with your life.

Keep your head up!

Be strong on Dec 08, 2012 @ 12:37 am

You got to be strong guys come and go... i know right now it is very hard for you nd i feel were you are coming from it is not easy to forget someone that fast but u will if you try.. what he did was very mest up and he desearves nothing from you no tears please he doesnt deserve them... just remember that what goes around comes around and he will get his turn .wish you the best if its ment to be he will come back.. but if i was you i would send hi to hell...

Time for some 'me time' on Dec 10, 2012 @ 11:10 am

Ok so it's obviously going to be impossible to keep him out of your mind & you may think you can change his mind by reminding him of how good you are together but the truth is if he says he wants space & you don't give it to him you will drive him further away.

You need to force yourself not to make any contact with him (might be a good idea to have a friend hold your phone on a night out). You also need to concentrate on yourself now, while being in love is amazing it puts you in the mindset that you need that person in order to survive, this is a good time for you to get comfortable being by yourself & start a new chapter in your life.

If he realises he misses you & made a mistake you will have become an even more interesting person to him because you're independant & you have all these new interests to talk about & introduce him to. If he doesn't come to his senses & doesn't call you again you will have already started to move on anyway & although it will be hard you will be better for it.

In the mean time, go find yourself a sexy new man to keep your mind off things. Bit of rebound never hurt anyone ;)

so sorry to hear it! on Dec 12, 2012 @ 01:51 pm

Sounds really awful, I remember when I was in my 20s and my boyfriend of several years broke up with me I was simply devestated. But it made me a much stronger person and even though it took me about a year to finally trust people again, it was for the best. I met and married my husband and I cant imagine my life without him, so I definitely found the right man for me! And you will too. Trust the universe's mysterious ways!!

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