"The other woman"

on Jul 15, 2008 @ 04:24 pm

Have you ever been "the other woman"? A friend of mine is and she swears it's worth the heartache. I think she's crazy.

13 Replies

and i will post anon on this one.... on Jul 15, 2008 @ 04:31 pm

yes i was the "other woman" before and i agree,your friend is crazy :) i dnt thnk it ws worth anythng,it didnt benefit me in any way and i hope women who consider it,get talked out of it asap

I have been the "other" guy. on Jul 15, 2008 @ 07:18 pm

Well i am the typical guy who like a girl who already had a bf. She told me that she would break up with him but obviously nothing happened. I caught her with that guy after about a month of dating and ....
well long story short, I stop going out with her after almost 4 years and caught her the second time.

Ali de Bold
How do you live with yourself? on Jul 15, 2008 @ 09:51 pm

To anyone considering this...

I think being the "other woman" or "other man" is a terrible "other" to be. Until you've been hurt by that kind of situation you never truly understand the impact of your actions. I know people who have done this and it is always a major source of shame - esp if there is a marriage and children involved. It might feel ok to you but imagine being the kid or the spouse on the other side. Find someone available and save yourself the label and the guilt.

Feisty Redhead
I always wonder... on Jul 15, 2008 @ 10:08 pm

Well first of all I agree with MC. If the only person you're interested in is already taken - then that is a sign that you're not meant to be with them and you need to just move on. I've been cheated on, and it hurts more than you can imagine unless you've been there too.

Now what I always can't help but wonder is... so you're "the other woman" or "the other man"... if the person you are with is cheating on someone with you, why would you ever believe they wouldn't cheat on you, too? There's that whole "once a cheater always a cheater" thing and in many (though not all) cases that saying proves to be true. One indiscretion, and you're going to have to deal with it forever; someone else you're with later down the road could find out about that incident in your past and then find it really hard to trust you, even if you are completely faithful to them. It's just really best not to go there, IMHO.

once a cheater not always a cheater on Jul 16, 2008 @ 01:32 am

I know two situations where someone cheated but with only one person and they never did it again. I agree if someone cheats WITH you there is a good chance they will cheat ON you, but don't think it applies to everyone. I think people tell themselves whatever they need to when they are in that situation so they can keep doing what they are doing. People cheat for many different reasons. What I don't get is if you are unhappy, why not end the relationship before moving on? Which is worse?

my friend on Jul 16, 2008 @ 09:01 am

I think the thing with my friend is, she thinks she's really in love with this guy. He's been telling her that his relationship is as good as over and he's just waiting for the right moment to break things off. Actually, I think he's waiting for his GF to dump him so he doesn't feel as guilty! Back to my friend... love makes you do crazy things. That's the only thing that makes sense here.

mmm... on Jul 16, 2008 @ 08:10 pm

From your description, that guy sound a lot like a jerk to me.

many a time on Jul 17, 2008 @ 08:37 am

iv heard many people say "he is waiting for the right moment to call it off"...BUT....about 80% of all the times iv heard that,has the guy ever done it!personally thats an excuse to get the "other" to back off about the gfriend or boyfriend issue just so they can have the best of both worlds.and another thing...have some dignity,why be strung along when im sure there are plenty of good single guys out there

never a good move on Jul 17, 2008 @ 06:58 pm

I have been on the other end, and I can say it hurts like hell. If someone wants to be with you they should tie up loose ends before making a move. I know one cannot control who they fall in love with, but they can control how they act upon those feelings. I would never want to be the other woman, it always seems so treacherous and awful. No one ever takes the side of the other woman.

As for men who do this and make promises...tsk tsk! Come on ladies, we have all heard this before, and we all tell friends in these situations the same thing, but somehow when they fall into that trap they believe anything.

Read The Adultry Club and see!

You're a good friend to be honest with your friend...

Never never never.... on Jul 22, 2008 @ 05:21 pm

...be the other woman. I think if you ever go into something where you are going to hurt others, you will never come out of it unscathed.

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