Today I wrote down what I'd say to him, Today I wrote down what I've learned


justme11
on Oct 01, 2011 @ 01:43 pm


To him :

I hope you never love someone as much as I loved you. I hope this because I hope you never see that love walk away. I hope you never believe with all of your being that someone is "the one" , finally. I hope if you find that love you don't feel the ache of their lies, hear broken promises, or have them blame you for what they have done. I hope it never feels like home, and then is taken away and given to a stranger.

Most of all I hope you never Love someone enough to let them go, because they didn't love you enough to stay.


I learned:

As much as I thought I had hurt in my past, this hurts more.

That when I didn't think it could get any worse ....it did.

That I may never make love, or love at all the way I did.

That I still wake up and reach for you....

That nothing feels like home.

In a room full of people, I'm still alone.

That through all of this...I know it has to get better.

That life isn't fair, and even though I didn't deserve this pain, i have it.

That somehow, I will be okay.

-Love your "wifey"
 


5 Replies


mamaluv
... on Oct 03, 2011 @ 11:49 am

I know I speak for us all when we say how sorry we are you're hurting so much :( It's probably very helpful for you to write this stuff down, so that is a good step toward healing.

Your final line "that somehow, I will be okay" needs to be your mantra - because it's true. It will ease eventually. Trust that your path still lies before you and you will look back on these days as what you have already identified them: a valuable lesson.

I read a lot of despair in your words and it makes me sad. Try to see the value in all of this, and try to focus on how you'll come out of this stronger and wiser for it. Don't allow yourself to become bitter, but know that because you are an amazing person who deserves happiness, it will come to you :)

*hugs*
Reply

Ali de Bold
It will get better! on Oct 03, 2011 @ 12:44 pm

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know first hand how horrible that feels, but things will get better and you won't always feel this way. Mamaluv gave you some good advice. Big hugs!
Reply

takoda
justme11 on Oct 04, 2011 @ 10:47 am


I'm sorry you’re
in so much pain right now. I say right now because even though it seems like
this pain will never go away, it will. It will just take some time. My brother
was married for 30 years only to end up with his wife putting him in jail on
false charges. He was ordered by the courts to stay away from the home he
worked so hard to build for his family. He could have left her years ago when
she started staying out half the night and coming home drunk, but he didn't
because he wanted his family to stay together and he loved her. When this did
finally go to court a year later they dropped all of the charges because she
finally admitted that she made it all up. He lost everything and was feeling
pretty much as bad as you do now. He slowly got his life back together, got his
own place, but he still felt like his life was all for nothing. That was until
a new woman moved into the same apartment building as his and he ran into her
in the parking garage. He wasn't looking for a relationship, but it just kind of
happened a few months ago. I've never seen my brother so happy and he admits
that he's happier now then he has bin in years. So the pain can and will go
away, it will just take you some time. You have to start thinking of yourselves,
tell yourselves that you matter, that your feeling matter and they are real.
Slowly start by finding something else that makes you happy, even if it's just
something small, or silly. Try helping out at a charity. Helping other's is a
great way to help your self stop thinking of the past and start thinking of
what you can do from hear on out. Try doing something you never thought you
ever do in your life. What ever you do don't just sit and think about the past
and what could have bin, that won't help you out at all. Talking about this is
one of the best things you have done so far! Holding it in and staying by your self
is not a good thing! We're here for you. If you still feel so sad after trying
some of these things we’ve mentioned then please go see a Dr., there is no
shame in going and talking to a professional about this, I've done it when I
couldn't get over a lose in my life and it did wonders for me. I know your pain
is real, but know it won't hurt forever even if it feels like it will right
now. Take care and let us know how you’re doing.

Big Hugs to ya.


Reply

AlexJC
Good for you! on Oct 04, 2011 @ 11:39 am

It's a really great idea to write down everything you can't say to him.

I have always found talking about a situation with someone else or even just writing down all the thoughts in my head so clarifying. You always feel better and see things more objectively when you can see things for what they are.

I really think that this is a great, healthy step to getting better and getting over the relationship!
Reply

justme11
It does help on Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:32 pm

I still have good days and bad days, good moments and bad moments. My heart is still very broken and I fight hard not to think about him, he and I together, and what he is probably doing now. Rough time would be an understatement but I am doing my best. Trying to focus on family, my degree, friends , and the things that matter in life. I know things will turn around eventually, just a tough ride for now. Still wish he would at least show regret for what he did or something but I can't wait for that. I do deserve good things and didn't deserve the cruelty of him. You all have no idea how much your words mean to me. I'd never wish this pain on anyone but it is comforting to know others have felt this way. I feel pathetic that I still ache for him, miss him, and cry over it all but I really did love him so I just have to know it won't be easy.

I am glad this website is here as an outlet and a way to hear from all you wonderful women and your kind words.

I try to remember this will pass, but sometimes the pain is overwhelming. The worlds worst rollercoaster! :)

Hope you all are having a beautiful day/ night.

Thank you

xoxoxo
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