Too young to have sex.


Anonymous
on Mar 23, 2009 @ 05:08 pm

I had sex with my boyfriend of 5 months. I felt like i loved him. seriously. The thing is, it was unprotected. He said he didn't ejaculate in me, but i really dont know and now im scared. what am i qunna do? look i know i was wronq, especially since im only 13, bhut i need help. idk what to do. im scared to tell my mom. please save the stupidity comments because i know i did wronq.
 


3 Replies


mamaluv
you have made the first step... on Mar 23, 2009 @ 05:41 pm

... in acknowledging that what you did was unwise. It sounds like you are otherwise a pretty smart girl for realizing this, even if it was a little too late. Give yourself a little credit for that! Anyway, you can't undo it, so all you can do is learn from your mistake.

First of all, you need to know that ejaculation or not, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are still possible. Often, some pre-ejaculation occurs before the main event, bearing sperm and fluids. Pulling out "on time" is not an effective option - ever. Also, any tiny breaks in his skin (may not even be noticeable) or small sores in his general genital area are more than large enough to let viruses pass into you.

Bottom line: always have protected sex. Always.

So it's done. Dealing with the aftermath is hard, and I really feel for you! You do need to talk to someone. If you can't bring yourself to tell your mom just yet, talk to your school nurse or a guidance counsellor. Depending on where you live, they can possibly get you a pregnancy and STI test. Most pregnancy tests need to be taken around the time of your expected period, with certainty only through a blood test (pee stick results are not very reliable). STIs may not be detected for months, so it's important to get tested now and again in 3 to 6 months. Do this for your health. You owe it to yourself and to any person you sleep with down the road.

Are you generally close with your mom? If so, she'll survive the telling. I'm a mom and I can say I'd be upset but understand that there's nothing I can do to change the past, just work to prevent future problems. If she loves you, you will survive. If you can't bear to tell her out loud, write her a note, give her some privacy to read it and let her lead the conversation. It won't be fun, but it's so much better to tell her soon, rather than her finding out down the road... which she will. The truth always comes out.

If you don't have a great relationship with her, reach out to another mature woman that you trust - grandma, aunt, family friend? You need support right now. You are so young and it's tough getting through this. I admire your courage to come on this forum and ask for advice - this is the first step. Be brave enough to take the second one.

*hugs*
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TigerLilly
Go see a doctor on Mar 24, 2009 @ 11:04 pm

I'm going to skimp the age comments and say what I'd say to anyone who had unprotected sex. Go see a doctor or nurse or whoever and get checked to make sure you're safe. STI/STD wise and in case you might be pregnant. Telling your mom would be helpful but I understand how you'd be scared. Even if you don't tell her you need to get checked out.
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Patricia
...too young... on Mar 25, 2009 @ 02:58 pm

I am sorry you are going through this. It's a difficult thing to deal with. I wish you all the best.

I know you probably don't want to hear this, and you can ignore it if you want... but...
Thirteen is not only too young to have sex (let alone unprotected sex!), but it is also too young to know what it means to be in love!

Don't rush into this kind of thing! You are so young ... you have so much time to figure this stuff out! Enjoy life! Learn to love YOURSELF now and it will be easier to find someone you love and who loves, you later on... when you are older and have more life experience!

I'm not trying to nag or scold... i just wanted to bring up a couple of points for you to think about!

Take care! :)
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