Virginity


Anonymous
on Jun 08, 2008 @ 11:35 am

ok well i really like my boyfriend and he aleady lost his virginity and well i really want to lose MY virginity to him but he dosent noe i wanna do it but i noe he wants to do it and well i donno wen we can do it, where, and i dont got accsess to condoms
 


10 Replies


mamaluv
!!! on Jun 09, 2008 @ 08:35 am

It'll obviously be your choice if you want to have sex with your boyfriend... however, since you posted here, I'm guessing you want some feedback.

First (and most important!), you must use a condom. This is the only way to protect yourself during sex from many diseases - but I'm sure you know this. They are available at every drugstore, but if you feel uncomfortable about bringing them to the till, you should look in public restrooms for dispensers. Heavy traffic areas like malls, airports, and restaurants often have them up beside the tampon dispensers, and they usually cost $0.25 or so. This is NOT optional! If you and your bf talk about having sex, you can and SHOULD insist that he help you solve this. Birth control is ultimately up to you, but any guy worth dating for more than 2 seconds will help you track down a rubber. If he acts stupid about it, DUMP HIS ASS!

Second, losing your virginity is a big deal. You don't have to be a religious sort or some kind of prude to think so. I'm willing to bet that most women out there who had sex as a young teen regret not waiting until the time was truly right. It is special, should ideally be shared with the person you will be/are married to. It is your most precious gift, and you need to think long and hard about how you will use it.

Whatever you decide, know that YOUR decisions will affect YOUR future. Insist on talking these things over with your bf, and insist that he help you come up with a solution. If he asks like a child and pushes you off, walk away and don't look back.

I hope you don't take my advice in the wrong way; we've all been there honey, and although you've probably heard this all before, it's all true. Best of luck to you!
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pyto
reply on Jun 09, 2008 @ 07:02 pm

Since your boyfriend has had sex before it's very important that you use a condom to protect yourself from any diseases. Even if he says he doesn't have any, you never really know for sure. You can usually get free condoms at the doctor's office or a walk in clinic.

You should talk to your boyfriend about it. If he's the one for you he'll be able to listen and understand how you're feeling.
Reply

Feisty Redhead
... on Jun 09, 2008 @ 08:24 pm

I'm going to echo the above that you MUST use condoms. Do NOT leave this up to him - YOU have to be ready in case he "forgets". This is NOT optional!

I also want to say I agree with mamaluv - losing your virginity is a very, very big deal regardless of any religious/spiritual beliefs. You really need to be sure that you are ready for this step, mentally and emotionally. There's a huge difference between just being physically ready for sex and being emotionally and mentally ready for it to happen. It's so easy to think you're ready when you're not really ready just yet. I speak from experience on this one. I THOUGHT I was ready when I lost my virginity but I wasn't and to this day I regret that it happened with that guy - I can't change that and I have had to learn to deal with that.

I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling. Do you trust him enough that if things are heating up and you suddenly realize you're not really ready, he will stop if you say no? If he's not that kind of guy - he's not right for you. If he cares for you at all and truly respects you he'll stop if you say so.

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biochick
the real-life effects of abstinence education.... on Jun 09, 2008 @ 09:09 pm

It might be a good idea to spend some time learning to spell before you start thinking about an act that could possibly bring a child into this world. And for crying out loud, how can you not have access to condoms, unless you live in the bush in Alaska? Call your local birth control clinic (they will happily give them to you for free) or have your boyfriend scrape up a couple dollars to buy a pack at the drugstore.
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Ali de Bold
age/maturity on Jun 10, 2008 @ 02:20 pm

I'm going to take a guess here that you are young. I don't recommend anyone even consider having sex until you are at least 18. I'm not a prude, but sex is a very emotional binding experience that is not meant to be taken lightly. If you don't even know where to find condoms I would say you are probably not ready/old enough to have sex. Keep the relationship fun and light and focus on getting to know each other instead of complicating it.

I don't know anyone who has ever regretted waiting, but plenty who regretted doing it too soon.
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Ali de Bold
one more thing on Jun 11, 2008 @ 01:20 am

As a teenager, your relationship will be much better without it. Sex can really complicate things and damage you emotionally (in addition to other risks such as STD's, pregnancy, etc).

If he pressures you for sex, tell him no and be prepared to move on. The right guy will still want to be with you even if you don't do it. Regret is a horrible thing and you never want to look back and wish you could take it back.
Reply

hunter_jc
Make sure he knows how to use a condom on Jun 11, 2008 @ 05:19 pm

Unlike the movies and tv shows. A condom is actually not an easy instrument. Make sure he knows how to use it.
I would suggest you think of what sex means to you. I would suggest to do it after you actually know he is the right guy. Like love of life.
Reply

miaka
I love this community.. on Jun 14, 2008 @ 08:50 am

Reading all these responses was so endearing. I wish I had support like this back in the day when I was in a similar situation! :)

This is one of the reasons why Chickadvisor.com is SO amazing! Thanks so much everyone :)
Reply

ticklecheecks
Teen advice from a Teen on Jun 17, 2008 @ 05:15 pm

First of all, im assuming that you are a teen, which is good because so am I.

My advice to you is:
Wait intill you have been together with your boyfriend for at least a year! This way you know he is in for the long run, and not just looking some action.
It is your choice, and your choice only. Remember that, because you only get one first time and virginity is not something you lose; its something you give someone who you love. Think about if your boyfriend would actually cherish this gift.
A lot of people think that sex makes relationships that much stronger and you become more closer with that person but thats not always the case. Think of it as how close you two are with each other when you get to the step of having sex, not how close you will be AFTER sex.
I know hormones are raging at this age, but that doesnt mean you have to resort to sex. Their is plenty other types of foreplay that you can do before sex. Personally i think its kinda better that way, because you become more familliar with each others bodies and more comfortable with each other before having sex.
Hope this helps, and echoing everyone else BE SAFE.
Reply

Ali de Bold
GREAT advice! on Jun 17, 2008 @ 06:32 pm

Wow, ticklecheecks you sure have a good head on your shoulders :) I think that is some excellent and very wise advice!

Oh and Miaka, I totally agree. We have been blessed with amazing members. You guys make us so proud every day!
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