what should I do now


Anonymous
on Apr 02, 2009 @ 08:45 am

I met this guy when he came to visit his friend here in my city. We already taked before but online. I talked to him on skype, and msn as virtual friend. We are from the same country but both study in the US. Something was weird between us at the first time I saw him at the airport. He was looking at me differently. We had good times with all our friends here during his visit, but it was short. Nothing happened between us until his last night. We kissed that night but he had to go early in the morning.
So we kept in touch after that. We talked on skype video everyday. We both enjoyed talking to each other, we looked like we like each other. So I decided to go there for spring break to visit him. before going there we were both so excited, and he would tell me something like I cant wait you to be here etc..
When I arrived there, the tension was not the same. He was not that excited anymore. He acted differently than in skype. He was distant. He was different. We had sex, and everything like that, but he just act like a playboy.
So after a great break, I had to go back. I called him when I got back and I told him that I liked him. I told him that I didnt understand our relationship. We have sex but we are not dating. OUr relationship looks so awsome outside, but the inside was missing. So he started to tell me that he liked me a lot but he was stuck, he is not ready for relationship, etc...
I was so mad at him. I couldn't believe what i heard. He told me that when I left after having sex with me. I wa mad.
I decided to pay him back. I lied that I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do.
NOw he is going crazy because I told him that I wanted to keep the baby. He told me that he is so sorry about all the thing that he did, all that is happening now. He want an abortion. He said that he want that for me not for his benefit, That I was not readyu for a baby, that it's abig responsibility. He is hurting and feels so guilty now. He wanna come here to be with me, to support me, but he want abortion.
I know that was a big lie, but I wanted him to feel how much I was hurt. Now I went too far, I can't go back. he looked really concerned about me. I don't want anything from him. I just wanted him to hurt a little, but now what should I do?
Should I tell the truth? but it's hard.
 


5 Replies


mamaluv
the truth always comes out on Apr 02, 2009 @ 09:47 am

Wow - this is a crazy story! Sorry to hear this is happening to you. I can understand you wanting to get a little revenge for the way he dined and dashed, but honey - you've painted yourself into a nasty corner.

You will have to come clean. Clearly this is not a healthy relationship and you have to either (1) break things off completely; or (2) take a step back and evaluate what you want and where this is going - and start over with a clean slate.

You could tell him you decided to go through with the abortion - then the baby question is out of the way. But your local friends know the truth and these things have a way of coming back to bite you in the @ss eventually.

Or you should just explain - "you were a dog to me, I wanted to make you understand how much that hurt. So I did an immature thing and lied to you." He'll be upset, but since he doesn't want the baby anyway will probably get over it pretty quickly. Your "relationship" right now is based on lies and meaningless sex - which is to say it is unhealthy. Do yourself a favor and wipe the board clean with the truth and then move on.

I know it hurts and it's very embarrassing. But do you really have a choice? I think no. Chin up; it sounds like such a line but things really will get better with time. Take it as a huge learning experience :)
Reply

silvercity
... on Apr 02, 2009 @ 11:01 am

What you did is so wrong on so many levels but I think that you already realize that....

Your choices are:

1) Tell him you lied and deal with the consequences of your actions (mature thing to do)

2) Tell him you got a false positive (depending on how far along you are with your pregnancy this is an "easy" way out)

3) Tell him you went through an abortion (I hope you don't pick this choice because it is just as wrong)

Then you should move forward and forget about this guy....
Reply

Becky
ouch... on Apr 02, 2009 @ 01:56 pm

That is a hard situation!! I think the truth will come out eventually. The complete truth, however difficult it is, is always the best option in the end. But if its too hard to face the complete truth (do what mamaluv says), then perhaps give a lie thats closest to the truth (silvercity - option 2).

Either way, this is a hard situation and I do feel for you. As mamaluv said, its cliche but this will pass and you'll get over it. But you definately need to somehow resolve the pregnancy thing and move on without him. This guy read you like a book, recognized what type of person you'd be into and became that person. He went to bed with you, and as soon as that was over moved on. Only once you scared him he started being nice and supportive to you (perhaps because he thinks if he pisses you off, you may not do what he asks and get an abortion?). Regardless of what you first thought of him, he does not seem like a good guy to me. Jerks come in many shapes and forms, just 'cuz he's not one type of jerk, doesn't mean he's not another type...

My suggestion would be, somehow resolve the baby-scare and get as far away as possible from this guy. good luck!!
Reply

Ali de Bold
Bad decision on Apr 02, 2009 @ 05:31 pm

I actually think telling a man you are pregnant when you aren't is totally inappropriate regardless of what a jerk he is. You have the choice to not date him if he is hurtful to you. By lying you are stooping. Don't stoop. Tell him the truth and move on with your life.
Reply

MizzRobin
yikes on Apr 02, 2009 @ 09:18 pm

I HATE when girls/women pull the pregnancy card when it is not true. Seriously, you may as well tell the truth and just move on.
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