What to do....?

on Apr 06, 2013 @ 09:24 pm

My name is Crystal Im 20 yrs old and I'm attending
college... I'm having issues with my parents well mainly my dad.. You see
growing up he was very strict person.. I couldn't go hang out at my friend’s house
and especially when my own cousins will try to take me to the movies or to the
mall it will take him a long time to give me permission to go. In high school I
only went to 1 party and that was it.. So eventually I stop asking him to let
me go out with friends.. So now that I turn 20 I told myself he needs to let me
go out now I been going to college and acting good etc.... 2 weeks ago 1 of my
high school friend who I haven't seen in 2 years contact me and ask me if i
wanted to hang out I ask my dad and he said yes, I was very surprise i left at
4pm and came back at 8pm just to show him I keep my promises.. So yesterday the
same friend ask me to go to six flags..And I told him if he could let me that
my friend’s dad will pick me up around 12pm-1pm and come back at 10pm and he
said ok.... After that my friends told me she was coming at 3pm so i told her
im not going to go because what’s the point of going we should of left early
since there’s always traffic... all of the sudden she texted me saying hey we
are on our way to pick you up and it was 12pm when she texted me so then my dad
arrives telling me why haven't you left I was like oh there coming already and
he says well you’re not going anymore it’s too late to go i said well that’s
the time I told you they were coming and he says no you said at 10am.. He said
you can go but when you come back there will be consequences so I didn’t want
to argue anymore so i said i wasn't going to go no more... But overall i hate
when he won't let me go out I don't ask him every weekend to go out because I
know my limits since I’m in school... My mom is very different then him she
lets me go out when he wasn't around but when his here she goes by what my dad
says,,, And i been thinking of moving out since I don’t know what else to
do..... Please feel free to comment


8 Replies

This is tough on Apr 06, 2013 @ 10:20 pm

I'm going to make an assumption here but is this normal in your culture? If so, it would be great to get feedback from someone with a similar background who has experience with this.

Is moving out an option for you? What age where you hoping to move out and get your own place? I think it's really good for people to have a few years living on their own. Not just so you can go out when you want to but so you have hands on experience with supporting yourself and paying your bills.

I wish I had more advice to offer you here but I suspect you come from a different cultural background than me so what I would do in that situation might not be what's best for you.

Is your relationship with your Dad strong enough that you can talk to him about it? Would it make a difference?

This is tough on Apr 06, 2013 @ 10:42 pm

Im Hispanic, but he was never like that with my older brother... You know people get bored of being in the house all the time like I love my family, but sometimes I just need get fresh air. Because of that I have no friends anymore and when I need a friend there's no where to turn to.. I try to talk to him about it, but my dad is the type of person who thinks his always right even though his wrong so I see no point of talking to him about it because no matter how long the argument is eventually he always ends up being right...At 18 yrs i was planing to go to university and live on campus, but I decided to stay and go to a nearby college to be with my mom since my dad wasn't with us (working in another state) Like sometimes I try to see why he is so strict as a positive thing but it doesn't work.. Even my mom hates that his so strict.. I just think moving out is better it might bring me closer to him since im not going to be angry toward him about not letting me go out...

Moving/Talking on Apr 07, 2013 @ 10:44 am

Crystal you are an adult now not a teenager...The problem is that your still living under his roof and although he should not be trying to control what you can and cant do because its his home hes still trying to be assertive with you...

I think as anonymous stated above that moving out would be a good option if you can.She/He gave you some good advise...Try talk to your Dad and tell him your frustrations.My Dad was very strict as well.I moved out when I was 18 and things got so much better between us.Good Luck :)

Ali de Bold
Moving out is often better for relationships on Apr 07, 2013 @ 01:33 pm

I found the same thing that once you get to a certain age it is better to move out. Some people can live with their parents for a long time and have a great experience but some of us have better relationships once we move out. It's like Bren said, you are under his roof so it's his rules. Once you have a place of your own you can make these decisions for yourself and still do everything you can to have a great relationship with your Dad.

Good luck!

Thanks on Apr 07, 2013 @ 01:52 pm

Thanks everyone for your comments... Yeah moving out could make my relationship stronger with my dad, and I been recently talking to him about it. Although I know he doesn't like the whole idea for his only daughter to move out, but its for the best. He specifically told me he wants me to go out and have fun until I finish my career which is nursing (4-yrs program) and I still need 2 more years to finish, so yeah I'm definitively going to move out hopefully by next year or less I have everything settle "have a job and buy my car " so I can move out. :)


Yikes on Apr 09, 2013 @ 06:51 pm

Oh gosh yes you're grown! I would move out as soon as the chance arose and it probably will strengthen yall's relationship. He'll realize how much he misses you, but you need to let him know that you are an adult and you should have the freedom to make mistakes and grow from them.

Ali de Bold
That sounds really great! on Apr 09, 2013 @ 09:28 pm

The fact that he is supportive of you doing this is so great because that means you are already on your way to a better understanding. That is wonderful news. Good luck with the rest of school and getting your first place!

Thanks.. on Apr 12, 2013 @ 10:37 pm

Thanks again for your comments... :)

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