Would you sleep with a married man?


Anonymous
on Oct 05, 2009 @ 02:11 pm

I have a friend that recently told me that she slept with a married man but said it totally felt right. She felt a little weird telling me because I'm married but the happiness in her voice made feel so happy for her yet appalled at the same time! My friend has had the roughest time with relationships for the last few years so when she's happy I get so excited. She has the biggest warmest heart of anyone I know and I just want her to be happy but she hasn't been making the best decisions lately.

She slept with this guy knowing he was married but justified it because he wasn't happy in his marriage (even though he's only been married for a year). I don't think anything serious will come of it because he lives in Mexico but now she's totally in love with him! I'm trying not to be judgmental but how would you react?
 

11 Replies


mamaluv
heading for heartbreak on Oct 05, 2009 @ 02:28 pm

I'm going to not go into all the reasons why I think sleeping with a married man is WRONG. I think we know already.

But I will say that any man who's willing to cheat on his wife is not a safe bet to be true to his mistress (assuming one doesn't count boinking uglies with his wife). He obviously doesn't understand commitment. Who cares that he's in an unhappy marriage?? If he truly was unhappy, he'd divorce his wife and move on.

This is the same old song and dance that too many women have fallen for. Your friend may be okay with the idea of causing another woman, her family and their children (if they have any) immense pain - but is she prepared to be used? If this man cares about her AT ALL, he will take steps to become available and then is able to commit to a meaningful relationship.

You say she's had a rough time of it. This sounds like more of the same. I don't think that you're necessarily being judgmental, depending on how you address this, but you can still tell your friend that she's setting herself up for major heartbreak with a guy who is another woman's man.
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Anonymous
You're absolutey right... on Oct 05, 2009 @ 02:54 pm

Everything you said is absolutely how I feel. I think I'll rain on her
parade after the week goes by. She just got back from her trip in
Mexico so I'll let her ride cloud nine for a bit. If she really thinks
something serious will come out of it I will have to bring her back
down to harsh reality...why am I always in this situation??
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mamaluv
answer... on Oct 05, 2009 @ 03:06 pm

because you are obviously a caring friend :)
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MizzRobin
Nope on Oct 05, 2009 @ 08:06 pm

I don't care what the circumstance, this one is black and white for me. Never.
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meredithk115
hmmm.... on Oct 05, 2009 @ 10:35 pm

I actually was in a relationship with a great guy several years ago....dated him for months, introduced him to my family. I was really serious about him, and then he showed up one night to take me out with a tan line around his ring finger on his left hand. I finally got him to admit he was married and I was completely crushed, devastated....and I felt so bad about his wife and 2 KIDS he was hiding in New Jersey.

I don't talk to him at all-haven't for years....he will occasionally email me and ask me if I think about him and I don't respond. PATHETIC.

My thoughts about your friend...if the relationship's not honest from the beginning, isn't it doomed? I mean she's already really into the guy and he probably was just psyched he got some *ss. Sad to say but probably true....
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Anonymous
ouch! on Oct 06, 2009 @ 12:39 pm

Meredithk115 - wow what a way to find out he was married! You're right, if it's not honest from the beginning it's doomed. I had to bring her back down to reality a little yesterday because she was gushing about this guy again. She sent me some pics too. Too bad he's a sleazeball because they actually look cute together! haha Just a bad situation...feel so bad for his wife. He is a manager at a resort hotel in Mexico and even though he says this was his first time sleeping with a tourist or another woman I'm sure he does this all the time. Pamper and spoil all the pretty tourististas...so scuzzy!
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meredithk115
ugh... on Oct 06, 2009 @ 04:20 pm

yeah that sounds like a typical grade A loser....
I hope that you can remain supportive to her-it would be difficult for me to hold my tongue.
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Ali de Bold
Bad idea all around on Oct 09, 2009 @ 12:42 pm

I'm always amazed how women are able to tell themselves it's ok to sleep with a married man because "he's not happy with his wife". If he's not happy with her he can be an adult and get a divorce.

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Agaphmou
married men on Oct 12, 2009 @ 09:16 pm

'' I am not happy with my wife'' is a ploy to get a woman in bed.It means absolutely nothing.If they are so unhappy why are they still together? Tell this to your friend.You have no idea how many times I have heard "I am married but unhappy". He is using her.I would never do it.ever

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Becky
i'm gonna sound judgemental here but.... on Oct 12, 2009 @ 10:30 pm

we can't always help our situation, but we can always help how we respond to it. and our situation doesn't show our identity, but our response to it does. He's unhappy in his marriage, boo hoo gimme a sec while i dry my eyes.... that is SUCH an excuse!! and a wimpy excuse at that!! so he's so sad, why is he in it? what sort of morals does he have to perform an act of adultery just because he's Feeling Bad in his marriage?? Its like us girls saying we're gonna go do random men cuz we're PMS'ing and we got the urge... uh huh???

This is really not about wether he loves his wife or not, or wether he's happy or not. Its about how much (or little) self respect this guy has to allow himself to get into an adulterous relationship, and betray his own marriage vows.

Your friend has gone through hard times, she should spare herslf from more, and realize that someone who's sense of dignity and self worth doesn't extend to his pants, is definately not going to respect or love her ... ever. she needs to walk away, no scratch that, run away as far and fast as she can.

You are a good friend to be so concerned for her even though, i'm sorry but, what she did was very wrong. If it was me, I would sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her and very clearly tell her that what she did was wrong, why it was wrong, and all the reasons why he's a lying cheating scumbag and she needs to completely get him out of her life.

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