Wow ... a lot of Chicks don't believe in love at first sight!


yellowsun
on Jul 03, 2009 @ 09:00 pm

So I'm new to Chickadvisor and was just browsing your (all you other chicks) 20 questions. And, it was amazing that every single one I looked at said they don't believe in love at first sight. Lust, yes. Love, no. Maybe I'm old school, but I still do believe in this. I've been with my husband for a long time (10 years). Married for seven of those. I can honestly say that I knew as soon as I saw my husband that I loved him - literally, I knew I was going to marry him and have babies with him (which I don't yet!). There was no question in my mind. It wasn't merely physical. It was absolutely everything about him that I loved right away. And when I say love, I mean - I loved him. I'm still very much in love with my hubby. I'm a very independent person and was back then. Dated often - but if I didn't feel "it" right away, there was no second date. With my husband it was completely different. I write this thread because I have younger nieces, nephews, cousins (in their twenties) who are starting to get serious about dating and I always tell them - I believe in love at first sight and when you see it - you'll know without a doubt. I don't think I'm misleading them by telling them to follow their heart (gut) ... thoughts?
 


8 Replies


silvercity
... on Jul 04, 2009 @ 02:06 pm

IMO there aren't that many people (that I know of) who have experienced love at first sight. Majority of the time it is Lust mistaken for Love. I have seen this more often than not. This doesn't mean that love at first sight doesn't exist but one should be careful not to mix those emotions. Maybe it was luck and coincidence that you two hit it off from day one and ended up being married...I don't know...either way count yourself blessed for finding your soul mate. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out that way for everyone :-(
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Ali de Bold
Lucky you! on Jul 07, 2009 @ 09:55 am

Yellowsun, that is so romantic. You are a lucky girl! I do think that is rare.

When I first met my husband there was no chemistry whatsoever. It was a really hot summer day and he was helping my roommate move into our non airconditioned apartment on the 4th floor... with no elevator. He was grumpy and not pleasant to be around. He was not interested in me either.

Then I met him again two months later when he played on my beach volleyball tournament and I was impressed with what a good player he was. He's quite athletic and also a considerate player. Most guys on the team would avoid passing to girls (they would assume we are always the weaker players) but he treated everyone the same regardless of skill level. We ended up walking down the beach boardwalk to lunch and I had this thought that I would marry him, but I quickly brushed that out of my mind because I thought it was such a dumb thing to think of someone I didn't know.

6 months later he invited a bunch of friends over for home made Paella (his specialty) and we had the same chemistry we had on the beach. His best friend told him that night after we had all left that I was "the one" (for Alex). 6 months later he proposed and here we are! So, in our case it was dislike at first sight, but it worked out anyway.

Those of you who experience true love at first sight are lucky. It must be a magical feeling!
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Anonymous
Love at First Sight Believer on Jul 07, 2009 @ 08:19 pm

I am with you!! I am a 3-time "love at first sighter" and each time was right - just not Mr. Right now LOL...

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Becky
thats soooooooo romantic!!!! on Jul 07, 2009 @ 10:54 pm

yellowsun > you are one lucky girl!!!

misschickie > aaaaaaaawwwwwwwww thats soooooooooo romantic!!!!! :( i wish i could *dislike* like you did!! hehe :)
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Becky
p.s. on Jul 07, 2009 @ 11:04 pm

yellowsun > i'm actually same as the others in that, I do believe in lust at first sight, but not love. Love to me means i love who the person is. How can I know who he is until I get to know him? I guess in your case it was an instinctive thing, and thankfully it worked out exactly as you imagined it.

keeping in mind that i don't believe in "love" at first sight ... at this moment in life, my parents and close friends are trying (in vain) to get me at least interrested in someone (so far no luck!). They introduce me to someone one way or another, then later ask "what did you think?" and i tell everyone the same thing:

You know the feeling when you're shopping for a car, and you look and look and find many that drive great, look great, has great history, etc but just doesn't *feel* right. It doesn't feel like your car, you don't feel *at home* in the car ...? And then when you fine THE car you just look at it and feel the click inside and think yup thats the one, thats my car. You don't even have to test drive it, you know its yours (thats exactly how I bought my first car. I actually told my friend that i want THIS car and if i can't have this one i don't want any (and this was before we had even test drove it)! He kept trying to calm me down and appear less excited so we could bargain for a better price, but i didn't care... i'd found my car), after test driving it, it was confirmed - my dream car.

Aaaaanyways.... it should be like that when you meet *the one*. Just on an instinctive level you should feel 'this is the one' (even Misschickie felt it during the walk on the beach!) .... feeling that he's the one isn't love, because i don't know him enough to love anything about him.. but its... something, i don't know what, but its something.
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yellowsun
Made me smile on Jul 26, 2009 @ 07:47 pm

Thanks for the replies ladies! I like the word "instinct / instinctive". I think it really describes what I felt. I guess I really am lucky ... of course, I take this for granted every now and then. Misschickie - love the story of how you met, "dislike at first sight"!!! I guess in the end - love will find its fit when its time to do so. As for my younger nieces, nephews, cousins - I'll just have to be there when they need me and watch very close from afar, and definitely use the word "instinct / instinctive". Says alot.

On another little, I love this video ... I actually cried when I saw it, the first and second time. So here's a little something for y'all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

enjoy!

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Agaphmou
love at first sight on Jul 28, 2009 @ 01:44 am

NO WAY.How could anyone possible fall in love at first sight,without knowing anything about the person? It has never happened to me and I don't think it ever will.Lust at first sight,admiration of a man's looks and body at first sight,fantasizing about him at first sight,yes! :)
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Anonymous
Love at first sight on Jul 28, 2009 @ 10:07 am

I do believe in love at first sight.I had that feeling right away it was a feeling that I have never felt before. I have been with my husband for 20 years and married for 14 of those years.
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