Relationships > Ghost of my boyfriend's past | ||||||
![]() Anonymous | This is the worse I've done and knowing it is totally totally wrong, I am on my worst guilt trip ever. I checked my boyfriend's facebook page, his page, profile, wall, photos, inbox, everything. And now I hate myself for doing it. What is worse is that there are some photos I don't think I should have seen. My actions have now cost me all these negative feelings of jealousy, with my mind going back and forth, over and over wondering about the relationship he had with this particular woman. No, it is not his ex, I know all about his ex, he told me everything there is about her. This woman, as he described "were good friends" with him. He briefly told me how they met (his exact words were: "we use to work together, we went out for a beer after work one time and realize she is a really cool person to hang out with, she was genuine and good." He was almost reminiscing I must say)and began hanging out, but was never an item; yet these photos I've seen tells me otherwise (in my perspective maybe). The photos and their messages tell a story of them being very close two years ago, hanging out almost everyday. She use to come and hang out at the same apartment we are living in now, they would share a bottle of "vino" together, cook all sorts of fancy food together, invite other couples over and have a bbq together, go clubbing together, go on a picnic together, etc. etc. As some of the messages between the two of them suggested, they use to have late night conversations over the phone. A couple of the messages she pretty much said to him she is going through a rough patch and is going to cry to push him into calling her and comfort her. Although he said they were never an item, if this isn't together, I don't know what is. These are all very couple things to do. I've been living with him for over three months, he haven't done any of these with me. Never shared a bottle of wine, never took me out to spend some time with his friends, how many times I've suggested I wanted to go on a picnic because I've never been on one, he did nothing about it. From what I've seen, it seems she was more than just a friend, she was his confidante. This woman have now moved overseas, they aren't in much contact other than the very rare occasion of her writing on my boyfriend's facebook wall. My fellow girlfriends, I feel really bad about what I've done already, but I really can't help but wonder about this. This woman have previously posted on my boyfriend's wall with this "Miss you much... and all the wonderful days we've had." Um.. I believe I would only say this kind of thing to an ex-boyfriend. She had all these albums on her facebook with my boyfriend in it, although two years ago but it is how she named the albums that alarms me (chilly fall afternoon, good times at..., wonderful life with... etc etc). The albums are just the two of them, sitting close together with her always in some form of "pretending to kiss" him shot. Should I be wary of this? My boyfriend got fairly jealous about a male friend I have one time. He said my friend have feelings for me at some time or another and probably still does, knowing that he missed the boat, now he is still hoping for a chance. I totally told my boyfriend that can't be and that he is just a good friend too, then he said he is sure of it, that every guy have had that experience, that there is always one that got away and waiting for another chance. Well then, do you think this woman was his missed boat? or even he was her missed boat too? I am really trying not to jump into conclusions, but is it wrong of me to wonder about the relationship they've had? Is there something he isn't telling me? Should I ask him about this? I don't want to irritate him, but asking him totally comes off as not trusting him. If she was just a good friend, there is no reason why he can't talk to me about it. I feel crap now and sad, and want to cry. I want to get rid of these negative feelings, they are toxic, I don't like it. :( |
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