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Trying to grow my hair long


I have always been trying to grow my hair out long.It gets to just past my shoulders and that's when it starts getting messy looking.I always cave in and go to a hairdresser and say I'm trying to grow it long please just trim up the split ends.

They  always end up cutting to much off!This last time I said I would just never go to a hairdresser again and just leave it be.Well I went just over a year without cutting it and it really started to get some nice length.But it desperately  needed some cleaning up.

So I went to another hairdresser and again explained I wanted to grow it long please don't cut to much.She cut way to much off and did a mass amount of texturizing and layering so again its back to where I started from ...

How do you ladies with long hair keep it that way?Do you not go to a hairdresser?Do you find a hairdresser that actually listens to you!?Is the mistake letting them layer and texturize it?
Mar 06, 2013 @ 01:26 pm

13 Replies



I used to tell the stylist in advance that if they cut more than a 1/4" off of my hair I will not be paying for the haircut. Hairstylists always seem to cut more than you want, and I've found making it very clear that you want a minimal trim is the best way to go.

Some stylists have gotten snippy (haha) with me about the no-pay warning, but it's to let them know that I'm completely serious and it generally forces them to be more attentive to what they're doing.

The best stylist I ever had was a teacher in highschool who taught a hair & makeup class. She knew all of us hated when "trimming the split ends" became a 5" cut and was meticulous in only cutting an eighth of an inch off the ends when you told her you were trying to grow your hair. If only more stylists were like her!
Mar 06, 2013 @ 01:49 pm


I used to have really short hair all throughout highschool, but when I got older I wanted to grow it. All I can say is: PATIENCE! My hair grows fairly slow and so it took me about 4 years to get it down to my back. My advice is take good care of your hair ... only wash it with shampoo every other day, buy split end treatments and do at-home hot oil treatments. This will help keep it healthy and growing fast.

Also, trust your hairdresser. I know it's hard because everytime you go in and they take a few inches off you feel like you're starting all over again, but the reason they take that amount off is because everything below it is really damaged. And when the ends of your hair split, they ruin up the shaft and break the strand, so even though it's growing out from the top it's breaking off at the bottom...which is still setting you back! So go in for "trims" every 3-4 months so they will only take a few cm off instead of going once a year and getting 3 inches off.

But like I said, for me, time was the only thing. Gotta be patient but it'll get there!
Mar 06, 2013 @ 01:56 pm

babysit the process

I really like Melissakj's blunt approach of warning that the stylist won't get paid - ha!

In general I would suggest you get trims more often, say every 6-8 weeks or sooner. If you have a really easy hairstyle (say all one length down the back) then you could probably get a friend or family member to do it for you.

A proper stylist (and goodness knows I've been to many who weren't) will give you a flattering shape that may or may not include layers and textures. In my experience, you really do get what you pay for. Be super clear with the stylist and if you're nervous, check the pile of hair behind your chair for the lengths that are being snipped. If your stylist gets offended, well then that's her problem. It's your hair!

I also like the suggestions of hair care between snips. Avoid heat styling and harsh hair products that can dry out your locks. Try to wash only as often as truly needed (unless you've gotten sprayed by mud, your lengths only need occasional washing; it's your roots that need it more often).

You can also try scalp massages and vitamin supplements that supposedly improve hair health. I don't know how much I really buy into all of that, but some people swear by it.

Mar 06, 2013 @ 02:31 pm


Hey Bren! Long time no talk! The same thing just happened to me about a month ago. I had been growing my hair out for 3 months. I took Biotin a pill for hair, skin and nails and made good progress with getting length faster. I went to my friend's sister to get my haircut to support her business. Well I specifically told her I was growing out my hair and I just wanted a trim and some layers. Well suddenly I saw all this hair on the ground and I started sweating bullets. It was too late. I'm basically starting all over again after taking Biotin for months.

I noticed when I tell a hairstylist I want layers they end up cutting way too much whereas when I say just to trim the bottom, they don't much off. So I won't ask for layers until my hair is long.

After going through so many hairstylists, I've found one that listens to me.

I've had success taking Biotin but it makes the hair in other areas on legs and underarms grow quickly too. LOL.
Mar 10, 2013 @ 02:08 pm

Long Hair

If you're trying to grow your hair long and you want to avoid walking back into a salon where five inches past those split ends might get cut off, try using natural oils every few weeks in your hair. Olive oil and coconut oil can really help repair any hair damage, prevent fraying and frizziness, and manage your split ends. Be careful when you are blow drying, straightening, or curling your hair, too - just a tiny bit too much heat for a second too long can kill the ends of your otherwise healthy hair.

My hair is pretty long, but I'm still growing it out. I got bangs a few months ago (sort of like Anne Hathaway's hair in The Devil Wears Prada), and watching my bangs grow helps me realize just how fast my hair is growing. Plus, when I go in to get my bangs trimmed, I just tell my stylist to trim the same amount off of the rest of my hair. That way she knows I'm only talking centimeters, not inches.
Mar 12, 2013 @ 01:44 am

Hi Bren

Sorry I just saw this, or I would have answered you a long time ago. It took me a few years to get my hair to grow long after a hair dresser went nuts on me, but it can be done. It really depends on what type of hair you have and how fast your hair grows for you. Mine is straight as a pin and thin, but it grows slowly. So what I did was, after I washed my hair I'd comb out any knots with a wide tooth comb starting at the bottom and working up holding on to the hair as I worked, so it wasn't pulling on the roots. Then I put it right into a ponytail with a few tie's down the length, so it would be blowing around getting full on knots. I never used a blow dryer on it, I always just let it dry in the pony. I only took it out of the pony tail at night and never brushed it until I was ready to put it back up. I also used a deep conditioner at least once a week and never added color to it. How ever this was long before my hair started going gray. So if you still want to color your hair while your growing it out, I'd tell you to find the gentlest dye you can, or if you can get away with it don't dye it at all. It took me a few years to get my hair down the middle of my back, but when I went in to have a spiral perm put in it after all that time, the hair dresser said I had no damage to my hair. She even asked me what I was doing to keep my hair so healthy. The less you do to it the better off you'll be. It sucked walking around in a tail for two years, but it was worth it in the end. I've only had my hair cut in a salon twice and both times they cut my hair off to my shoulder. My mom has always cut my hair and I'm going to be very sad when the day comes that she can't do it any longer. I've had my hair as long as three feet long, so it can be done. Once you do get it to the length you want only have a trim done every two months or so, or as needed. If you have to have it cut I think Melissaki's idea of telling them you won't pay if they don't do what you asked them to do is a great one. I'll be using it the next time I have to go to one that for sure!! Good luck, let me know how its goes.
Mar 12, 2013 @ 09:42 am

If at first you don't succeed...

My family and I have always had long hair. We actually only trim it twice a year during specific seasonal festivals as an offering. Ever since I can remember my hair has been down my back and I've even had it long enough to sit on. I had to cut that then because I couldn't pee without it getting in the way. Even with cancer, my hair fell out some, but I still kept a long length. I think it's very possible to keep your hair the length you want it, and it really helps if you trim it with someone you trust like a family member. My mom has been trimming my hair all my life. Is there a family member or friend you trust who won't 'accidentally' trim off more than the amount you desire?

If there is, use them! I used to have some friends who always cut their own hair and they would also do mine. I appreciated that for sure. I find stylists and cutters tend to do what they are good at, and not what is always good for you. I've only met one stylist like that and he was super sweet because he knew of my cancer situation.
Mar 14, 2013 @ 01:07 am

Thank You!

All great tips!Its been very interesting to read all your responses.Patience,finding someone you trust and being firm in what you want and keeping hair healthy seems to be the key :) Thanks again ladies..
Mar 14, 2013 @ 01:55 pm

You're welcome Bren

Have you tried the new Pantene shampoo's and conditioners in the black bottles yet? My sister in-law told me they're working great on her hair. She's using the Age-Defying one and said her hair is softer and any fly always she had seem to be in much better control. She's older then us by about three years and has been coloring her hair for years, so it was really dry. It's not cheap, I think I saw it for $9.99, but if you see it on sale maybe you should give it a try. It might help your hair while you're growing it out.
Mar 14, 2013 @ 06:47 pm

Grow your flow (love this thread)

Such great tips in this thread. Definitely patience is key. I think being prepared for impulse cuts is important too! I am not sure what the best way is to deal with impulse Salon visit. In the past when I've wanted to "wait it out" and grow my hair and made an impulse visit to the salon I would just regret it. Haha, eventually, I just stopped going because I hated regretting it!!

I've also taken Biotin supplement to help my hair growth - of course go see a natural health practitioner for that.

Good luck : )
Mar 17, 2013 @ 10:12 am

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