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Holidays with in-laws.....can't stand it, but should I just suck it up?


I don't necessarily dislike my in-laws but I get VERY uncomfortable when there are 'holiday' dinners hosted there for many reasons....the food isn't the best, no one really speaks with me (and yes I do attempt to engage everyone in conversation).  Last year, I was sent to the kitchen to prepare food while EVERYONE else sat in the living room and had snacks and drinks (I was furious).  I've stopped bringing food because the last time I did that I was told 'it was a waste' and no one touched what I brought, which was extremely insulting.  I've been left in the living room by myself while everyone goes off to talk to eachother.  Just not the most pleasant of situations.  I was recently told by one of the 'cousins' that "you're not really a member of this family." 

So, being that Canadian Thanksgiving is right around the corner.....any tips on how to get through the "family-that-I'm-not-a-part-of" dinner?  Besides drinking excessively? I only do this for my husband because I would rather clean out the grease trap at McDonalds then have to go through this.......
Oct 05, 2013 @ 09:33 am

6 Replies



That sounds TERRIBLE

My apologies on behalf of your rude family! If I am being completely honest, if I were in your situation, I would try to get out of this. Is your husband aware of how uncomfortable his family makes you feel? Could you try and explain to him how you feel and how you think it would be best for everyone if you were not there? Or perhaps, you can convince him to have your own thanksgiving just the two of you?
Oct 09, 2013 @ 12:54 pm
Ali de Bold

Can he help you?

Has your husband talked to his family about this? That is really strange behaviour. What is his take? Is this how all Inlaws are treated or just you?
Oct 09, 2013 @ 10:43 pm

Your rude family

I agree I think you should talk to your husband and make sure he is aware of how you feel, see what he thinks about the situation and if he can talk to his family or anything he can do to make it a better time. If not start your own holiday dinners.
Oct 10, 2013 @ 11:55 pm

Hubby should help, n'est ce pas?

I would have a heart to heart with hubby and ask him if he has noticed this unusual behaviour. \I think you were right to be angry to be banished to the kitchen. I would not let myself be treated like this, and would expect my husband to support me in that
Oct 17, 2013 @ 10:07 pm

Holidays and In-Laws

If I had In-Laws as ignorant as that I wouldn't ask them to my home in the first place.What is wrong with your Husband he won't speak up for you?It is his parents and he should tell them to respect his wife when they come to their home.I would give it one more try,I'm sure you would love nothing better than to get along with his parents.You never said if you tried mixing it up with some of your family also.At least you will have someone to talk to.
Nov 24, 2013 @ 06:14 pm

We have talked.....

These are great suggestions but my family lives in another country. I've lived in Canada for almost 6 years and my family hasn't come to visit me (I've gone to visit them multiple times).

I think this is one of 'those' situations where I may have to "suck it up buttercup." I didn't do any cleaning or cooking this go-around and I imagine/gather that something has been said to them. This may be a good time for me to learn some kind of life lesson, but I'll have to go back to my Dr. Phil book to remember the particular name of that.

I don't like it, and probably never will but I do love my husband and if he needs me to be there, then I'll be there.
Nov 24, 2013 @ 06:17 pm

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