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Shower Etiquette


I am invited to my second wedding shower in life, but it is a joint shower. It is for my sister (Cinnamon!) and her would be sister-in-law. Both brothers are getting married this year, so their mom decided to throw a joint shower for both girls.

The thing is that I don't know this other girl, I haven't even ever met her (nor do I know the groom, in fact. He is just my brother in law's brother. I guess we will meet at the wedding!). My question here is do I take a gift for her as well? I bought a gift just in case, as I would rather not be embarrassed, but a young person like me who doesn't have a lot of money cannot handle 2 showers at once! These things need to be spaced out, people, so i can budget! Anyway, I got her something off her registry, since I do not know her, but it is a boring gift, and I got probably one of the cheapest items on the list (no, I am not buying a $400 Royal Doulton tea pot for someone I do not know!). It's hard, as I wanted to get something nice for my sister, but had to take the other gift into account as well.

Would you have bought her a gift? Especially when only 3 family members of my sister's were invited?
Jun 05, 2008 @ 06:48 pm

3 Replies

Ali de Bold


Wow. I don't know what this Mother was thinking. Probably she was hoping to kill two birds with one stone... and it worked. Now both brides and their shower guests get to feel super awkward at what should be a fun event.

I would probably do what you did.. or I would call the host and politely ask her how she thought the gifts should be handled. I doubt all of the women invited for your sister's future SIL will bring gifts for your sister if they don't know her.

This is just so tacky and awkward I really don't know what advice to give you! I think what you did was gracious and thoughtful.

And bless your sister's heart for agreeing to a double shower. She is kinder than I would have been.
Jun 05, 2008 @ 07:36 pm


Well, yes, killing 2 birds with one stone indeed! But my sister IS having a destination wedding, which will be hard on all family members to attend, especially when the other bride gets married first end of the summer! I have been making all kinds of excuses in my head for this - it is a farming community and it is hard for farmers to take time off to attend showers, and it appears to me that most farmers get married in the summer - every weekend there is a wedding/buck and doe/shower going on to attend, so maybe this was practical ( I am hoping that's the reason!).

Yes, My sister was a tad annoyed at first, but eventually came around - it's nice her mother in law is doing this, as our mother lives out of the country. I assured her I will throw her another shower with much booze and many friends ;) And no gifts!!!!!

You are right, I should have called, but it is quite awkward to ask. I asked my Godmother this question and she freaked, as she hadn't thought of it, and dashed out as I did to buy this girl a gift.

I just hope everyone did as I did and brought gifts for both brides - it would be a little lopsided if the majority of the gifts were for the other bride (only 3 people from our family invited, and I am one of them), and my sister had to sit and watch her open tonnes of gifts!

The shower was originally just for the other bride, but then my sister got engaged and set a date. The date set was actually her moving date to their new house, so not only was she tacked on, but has to take a day off work to move!

Anyway, enough of my rant, Cinnamon is fine with it and I am sure it will be a lovely shower :) We are all excited for her!
Jun 05, 2008 @ 08:08 pm

Hope it goes well....

....sorry I can't make it Ness....I have to say that I don't like the combo deal shower thing...especially since they are not in the same group of friends even so her friends won't know the other bride's friends etc. We will throw her another one later this summer! :o)
Jun 06, 2008 @ 12:27 am

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