Losing a pregnancy

Vlicious

Hello chicks,

This one is a little more serious a topic, my best friend just recently went through the loss of a pregnancy and she is having a difficult time coping.  Just wondering if there are any chicks with some solid advice on how to comfort or encourage her.  I'm horrible with dealing with grief and I am at a loss for words at times.  :(
Jun 27, 2013 @ 09:32 am


5 Replies

Ali de Bold

Yes - Been there

It's a really horrible experience to lose a baby. I lost my first baby and had a really hard time dealing with that miscarriage even though it was a very new pregnancy. I wrote about it here anonymously because I needed to process it, but if it helps at all she should read this and some of the threads from other members who have posted their experiences. I hope it gives her some comfort to know she isn't alone and that so many of us have gone through this and had babies after (my #2 is due in about a month!). I had a friend miscarry last year and thankfully for her it wasn't a physically painful process but it was really hard on her emotionally. She is now 5 1/2 months pregnant.

Here are a couple of other recent threads your friend should read:
http://www.chickadvisor.com/chickchat/health/had-a-natural-miscarriage/
http://www.chickadvisor.com/chickchat/mom-and-baby/miscarriage/

Big hugs to your friend. It really does suck. You picture your life with that baby, know the due date that would have been... it's really hard. Just be there for her like you are and encourage her that she will get through this. xoxo
Jun 27, 2013 @ 09:56 am
canadianlady2008

Been there also

I too had a miscarriage (12 weeks pregnant) and also lost a baby at age 8 days. My feelings about the miscarriage at that time was it was for the best, there must have been something wrong, so I was able to handle that well.

Loosing my son age 8 days was devastating, a piece of my heart was taken with him. We still talk about him and every year on his birthday, we decorate our Christmas tree.
Jun 29, 2013 @ 04:02 pm
Ali de Bold

canadianlady2008

I can't even fathom what that must be like for you. My heart goes out to you!!! Big hugs to you and your little Angel.
Jun 29, 2013 @ 05:13 pm
nana2276

Grief counselling

I had 2 miscarriages and then lost a son at 2 hrs old. I am now 63yrs old and still miss Scott and the only ppl who understand how I feel are others who have been there. That was 32 yrs ago on June 16th. The only thing that you can do is listen, let her cry and talk. With time things will heal. Find out if there is a mental health facilaty in your town that has grief couselling for parents. Ask her doctor for help in that area.
Jul 15, 2013 @ 03:09 pm
JulzRulz

Be there.

There are six stages of grief she will go through and the best thing you can do is be there for her. Offering advice is not always needed, however a good ear and listening skills (which can be hard to do) is very comforting. Although it is distressing, it is important that she works through these feelings and is allowed to convey them to someone who will just listen and nod, maybe hold her hand while she lets it all out. After all, when it comes to us Chicks, we need to talk things out before we can actually get down to the core our worst feelings or problems, right? Patience and calmness, light candles, stay where she is comfortable talking, all of these will eventually bring her back to a better place and help lessen the pain.

My heartfelt wishes for brighter days to come to your friend and yourself. <3

~Julie
Jul 15, 2013 @ 05:49 pm

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