Pregnant and need advice

Anonymous

I really need advice. I just found out I am pregnant. Unfortunately the guy I was with was never really my boyfriend. After seeing each other for a while I told him sexual monogamy was important to me for my health and he said he could not make that commitment. So I ended things. Then our paths crossed again and after a couple beers I went home with him like an idiot. He started doing things to me that I did not like and told him to stop but he didn’t until I finally started yelling. Afterwards I went into his bathroom to cry and clean up and noticed things that obviously belonged to another female (make up, hairbrush, etc) and it just made me feel even worse about myself. He would get a hold of me from time to time but I never knew what to say until finally I told him not to contact me. Then of course a month later I find out I’m pregnant. I don’t want this baby and I don’t want the the constant reminder for the next 8 months of my stupidity and that horrific night. He clearly has other girls he sleeps with so I’m almost positive he doesn’t want this baby either. But I don’t know if I should tell him that I’m even pregnant. I want to, to give him the chance of giving his opinion, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea or if he deserves it. I’m so sad, and hormonal and driving myself crazy thinking about it. Please help. 

jcb75

oh honey

you just said it...you don't want this baby. you have lots of options. if you choose to give the baby up for adoption, i would tell him, that way he can also terminate his rights on paper. less red tape for an adoptive family.
if you choose not to go through with the pregnancy...i'm not sure what i would do. bottom line is that it is your body, your choice. if you do decide to continue the pregnancy and keep the baby, you absolutely have to tell him.

Ali de Bold

Concerned

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Did he rape you? Reading this part:

"He started doing things to me that I did not like and told him to stop but he didn’t until I finally started yelling."


If so, have you gone to the police? Even if you had been drinking, no means no. I hope I am reading too much into this and that is not what happened, but if he did rape you - he absolutely should have no say in what you decide and you absolutely have to go to the police.


Regardless of the circumstances though, do you have a good support system around you? Can you talk to your parents? This is a very hard decision and not something you should have to figure out by yourself. There are many long term implications regardless of the path you choose and you need as much support as you can get right now.


Big hugs to you!

fredamans

.

If you don't want the baby, then you know what to do. There really is no point in involving him, and frankly, at this point you should forget about him all together.