Restraining order against Grandma?!


Are there any laws that limit the way an adult can speak to a minor? If you need more details, here:

My mother's mother (my "grandmother") has never liked me --
When I was very young, around 5 or 6, she would go CRAZY and pull her hair and yell at me saying I was a mistake and she couldn't believe my mother had done such a terrible job raising me. When I was a little older, around 10-12, she would tell me that I was "a burden" to my mother and I needed to leave her alone because all I do is annoy her. Whenever I would tell my mom, my grandma would tell my mom I was lying, so my mom would never believe me. When I was around 13 or 14, my mom and I were visiting my grandma for the weekend, and my mom knew I didn't like it, so she allowed me to bring my best friend. Long story short, my grandma told me she hated me and to "get the hell out" of her house and never come back, and then she told us both to get outside, so we left. After that, my best friend told me my grandma was crazy and she couldn't be my friend anymore, because her parents didn't want around "people like that." I was heartbroken because I lost my best friend, who still refuses to speak to me years later. I'm 16 now, and just the other day I asked my mom if she was ready to leave, and my grandma rolled her eyes and groaned. So I said, "you didn't need to make that sound, especially since I wasn't addressing you." And then she screamed, "what a pain in the ***!" I guess my mom knew that was wrong (finally), and tried to say something to her, but my grandma said "No! Shut up! I'm tired of her!" So I said, "You think I'M a pain in the ***? You're one to talk!" and then she said, "Excuse me?!" and I left. Luckily we were leaving anyway, but if we weren't & I had just left, could she get in trouble?
Is this "illegal" or against the law in any way? I want a no contact order or something, because frankly I hate her, my dad has found out about the way she (and the rest of my mom's family) treats me, and doesn't want me anywhere near them, but he doesn't want hard feelings with my mother. Is it "illegal" or wrong for her to talk to a minor (me) like that? What can I do about it?
Please & Thank you!
Jul 16, 2012 @ 11:28 am

3 Replies

Ali de Bold

Probably not

While your story is really sad, I don't think there is anything illegal about it. I'm not a lawyer but I don't think there is a case here. I do think it's really terrible that she says those things to you. You can distance yourself from her without involving the law. Don't go over to her house. If you do have to be somewhere she is, the best thing you can do is not allow her to get to you. Don't fight with her. Life is too short to be constantly embroiled in drama. You're 16 so before you know it, you will be on your own. The decisions you make now affect the ones you make later. Choose a better life for yourself by surrounding yourself with people who love you and focusing on the positive relationships. Hugs to you!
Jul 16, 2012 @ 11:41 am


I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that! How horrible, especially since it's been happening your whole life. People don't realize how certain comments can scar a child for life, even if the child is challenging to raise (and I'm not saying you are - just meaning that even a badly behaved child does not deserve to be treated the way you have been treated).

I agree with Ali that you probably don't have a legal case for her saying these things to you. At most, you could say she is emotionally abusive, but since you are around her infrequently, I don't know if a restraining order would apply (I think you have to have reason to fear bodily harm?). Your parents need to protect you and keep some distance between you and grandma.

I'm actually quite shocked that your friend ended her relationship with you completely. As a parent, I too would not want my child to go to a friend's house where there was an abusive situation going on, but I don't think I'd make my child stop being friends. Certainly there is a fear among parents that when their child hangs around with another child who has a very unstable home life, there will be bad influences in play. Not saying that's you, but simply stating that this is a fear many parents have.

Jul 16, 2012 @ 12:41 pm


It doesn't sound illegal. And I don't think theres enough grounds to even get a restraining order from that. Unless she threatened to harm you physically, it's very unlikely. Just tell your mom you don't want to visit her next time. If you have to be around here, ignore her. If she sees that you are not paying attention to her, she will probably stop pestering you. She sounds like a typical bully, relying on the fact that because you are young no one will believe you.
Jul 17, 2012 @ 12:31 am

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