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2015: Who pays for the first date?

Ali de Bold

I was at lunch today with a friend who is back on the dating scene and the topic of who pays for the first date came up.  As an old married woman, I really have no idea.  Thought I'd put it out to the CA community and see what you think?
Aug 18, 2015 @ 03:15 pm

14 Replies



I would assume it would be whoever did the inviting would pay. In my opinion, that's just good manners. However, if it's a blind date set up by a third party, I think it would be right to split the cost.
Aug 18, 2015 @ 03:27 pm


I agree with prettyrainbow. Whomever invites should pay.
Aug 18, 2015 @ 04:04 pm

Paying on First Dates

I think it's a tough one! From the first dates I've been on, I've sort of hit all categories in the payment department. I was invited on a date once by a guy but I ended up paying, not him, and that really bothered me (and my friends) and just didn't sit right....so I would say that's definitely not the usual way...

Most of my friends and I either end up splitting on the first date or the guy usually ends up paying, and even when we try to pay, they insist. To be safe and avoid the awkwardness of who is going to pay, maybe the person should propose splitting when the bill arrives, and if the other person insists on paying, then leave it at that. You can always get the next one!
Aug 18, 2015 @ 04:26 pm


I have been married for a while so not sure what changed in the meantime but when I was dating, I always offered to pay my part. Where I live there are a LOT of girls who are just taking advantage of the guys and want to get a free dinner and drinks without ever planning on dating the guy. Most of the time I just said they can invite me and take care of the bill next time. Though if someone really insisted I did let them pay....generally speaking though the guys seemed to appreciate that I did not take it for granted that they would pay and were okay splitting the bill, and I was glad I did not feel like I owed anyone anything if I did not want to see them again.
Aug 18, 2015 @ 09:35 pm

When did it become so complicated?

This could be an entire editorial column in and of itself. I have not been out on a first date in years. I've accepted a guy paying and I think I've maybe also paid, and I ALWAYS felt like I should offer, or at least make the gesture to.
Here's where I stand today. The guy should absolutely pay for the first date.
Chivalry is a wonderful thing. What woman doesn't like to be comforted by a man's strengths? Let's let him comfort us.
That doesn't mean we order the most expensive everything on the menu....
Let's liken it to, would you refuse to let a man hold the door open for you to walk through? I welcome that and I want to see traditions live on.
What happens after that first date is an entirely different set of circumstances.
Let's continue the conversation after we all have our next first dates, shall we?
Wishing love to everyone.... I think I might become more vocal on this forum knowing there are so many wonderful people willing to share their experiences!
Aug 18, 2015 @ 10:43 pm
Sandra Ribeiro

on august 19, 2015

I agree with Pretty rainbow!
Aug 19, 2015 @ 09:25 am


I am traditional, I agree with anonymous commentor
let men be men, don't kill of chivalry :)
Aug 19, 2015 @ 10:07 am


I say split the bill :-)
Aug 19, 2015 @ 11:00 am


I would say it depends on what the first date is. If it is something costly it is probably fair to split it. It also depends on who invited who, who's idea it was to do such activity/where to go, and also if he offers/insists. I don't think I have ever had someone pay for me completely on a first date. It is usually split.
Aug 19, 2015 @ 02:18 pm

It depends because things have changed so now it should be the person that invites or just split the cost.
Aug 19, 2015 @ 02:49 pm

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