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Advice please


So I have this dilemma going on right now... it's quite personal but I'm having a hard time dealing with it on my own, and after reading some of these forums I feel like you ladies are very understanding, non-judgemental, and very helpful in any way you can. So I feel I'm ready to share what I'm going through and seek advice from you lovely ladies.

Ok so there's this guy and I've liked him for along long long time we lost touch over the years but we recently met up again and needless to say we finally hooked up. Now I thought after I would feel very happy and enjoy the rest of my night in bliss because this was something I had been dreaming of for along time. However after I went home I started feeling very badly, crying actually, and I just don't understand... most women would be feeling good after something like that right?

But another problem I have is that in the past I was sexually assaulted, and abused repeatedly he has only been the second person since the assaults that I've actually fully consented to having sex with. I thought hooking up with him would make me feel good, perhaps feel some enjoyment from sex again, instead of feeling disconnected. But I've once again found no enjoyment in it and have once again disconnected myself from the actions, even though this was someone I had wanted to hook up with for so long. I just don't understand it and it's really upsetting me I'm having such a hard time with the emotions it brought up it's very confusing... I just want other people's advice maybe just to help me get my mind straight or help me understand these feelings. I'm so confused right now.
May 24, 2017 @ 06:26 pm

12 Replies



I'm sorry to hear you went through that! That said, are you currently in therapy? If you have done so, I would strongly suggest you seek therapy.

You have been sexually assaulted and repeated abused, it is traumatic. As someone whom have been abused myself, I could say the sex probably brings back some traumatic past experiences. I used to have an issue with intimacy. It is still there but with therapy, it really helped me let go of the hurt and the guilt.

You have to let go of the past and I understand it's very hard but until you do, you will always have those feelings after an intimate encounter.

I strongly suggest you seek counselling to work through to horrific past experiences. It will get worst in the beginning but things will start to get better once you start working on them.
May 24, 2017 @ 08:13 pm


Meaby you are ready to start à relationship? It is verry important to you to keep on taking to someone hability to ear you and let you talk without telling you wath to do. Your choices will get through your Word.
That personnes know about the abuses that have occurred?
Take care of yourselves, expérience we must love ourselves for better love!
May 24, 2017 @ 11:43 pm


Oh my goodness. I am so so sorry to hear. That is completely terrible. One big piece of advise would be to see a psychiatrist or counseller to talk this out with.
May 25, 2017 @ 03:17 am


I totally agree with the above posters, get some therapy or the issue will never be resolved. You deserve to be happy in every area of your life.
May 25, 2017 @ 06:22 am


Sending you a ton of love!! Your reaction is likely a product of having past experiences coming back :( I would strongly suggest seeing someone to talk this out and start the healing process. I can not even begin to imagine the emotional trauma past experiences have caused you.
May 25, 2017 @ 06:26 am


Im so sorry you are going through this and that it's affected/affecting Al I your relationships afterwards. Iagree with the previous posters. Maybe you should seek counseling. Especially now that you have someone that you want to be with and want to be intimate with.
May 25, 2017 @ 07:46 am

Thank you!

Thanks so much this is all great advice, and it's not something I usually talk about, but I feel ready to move on.
May 25, 2017 @ 07:56 am


Sending you lots of love girl. Yeah, I agree with the ladies here. Maybe you can seek some counselling
Also, I'd like to share to you this website : http://youniquefoundation.org/the-haven-retreat/
It is an organization in the US that helps sexually abused/ assaulted women that are having a hard time to cope. They offer free retreats but u may have to pay for travel. You can apply for the retreat and from there, you'll get more info.
May 25, 2017 @ 08:20 am


Hey hon:

What happened to you is reprehensible . It's a terrible trauma you have gone through that prevents you from moving forward. Therapy is the best medicine to heal your past issues , in order to be able to move forward.

There will always be that fear of men , because in the back of your mind , it won't let you be able to let go. A good psychologist or psychiatrist can help you heal. Good luck hon.
May 25, 2017 @ 04:57 pm


Please Take care of the Words you use to someone fragile.
May 25, 2017 @ 06:51 pm

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